I have seen people who find that grief gives them something they never had before, and no matter how terrible and real their loss they choose to hug that awfulness to them rather than push it away.

[T]here can be a form of vanity in grief that is indulged rather than suffered.

Chronic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.

I would not have traded the delights of my suffering for anything in the world.

Stephen had spared no expense in making himself more unhappy, his own position as a rejected lover clearer.