Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?

A gunshot is the loudest sound in the universe. Especially if the bullet is coming at you.

Hiram!' Shelton ran to Hi's side. 'Aren't you you bleeding? I thought she shot you!''Red wine. When I saw it running everywhere, I played dead.' He winced as Shelton poked his belly. 'But I'm not leaping off any more shelves. That was pretty stupid.