To discover the mode of life or of art whereby my spirit could express itself in unfettered freedom.

What have I to prove, and to whom, and why? I'm keen enough to want nothing more than to live a simple, humble, unfettered life.

If you were writing a book to be published, you might be restrained by the fear that your wild imaginings might drive some people crazy. As it is, you are free, you can go off in any direction whatsoever, so long as the flame in your mind burns that way.