The best university in the world is neither Oxford nor Harvard. The best university is "youniversity". YOU got the lecture halls of thoughts in YOU! You got everything you need to graduate with first class accomplishments put in you! YOU can do it!

Every man has a House of Lords in his own head. Fears prejudices misconceptions - those are the peers and they are hereditary.

Great Britain has lost an empire and has not yet found a role.

I have been trying all my life to like Scotchmen and am obliged to desist from the experiment in despair.

If I should die think only this of me that there's some corner of a foreign field that is for ever England.

It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman despise him.

London is a roost for every bird.

Remember that you are an Englishman and consequently have won first prize in the lottery of life.

Snobbery - the "pox Britannica"

The difference between the vanity of a Frenchman and an Englishman seems to be this: The one thinks everything right that is French the other thinks everything wrong that is not English.

The English woman is so refined She has no bosom and no behind.

The most dangerous thing in the world is to make a friend of an Englishman because he'll come sleep in your closet rather than spend 10 shillings on a hotel.

The young Cambridge group the group that stood for "freedom" and flannel trousers and flannel shirts open at the neck and a well-bred sort of emotional anarchy and a whispering murmuring sort of voice and an ultra-sensitive sort of manner.

Without class differences England would cease to be the living theatre it is.

Though I love my country I do not love my countrymen.

England has forty-two religions and only two sauces.

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

England is the paradise of individuality eccentricity heresy anomalies hobbies and humours.

Not only England but every Englishman is an island.

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

The Englishman respects your opinions but he never thinks of your feelings.

The English never draw a line without blurring it.

Queen Victoria - a mixture of national landlady and actress.

Whatever the rest of the world thinks of the English gentleman the English lady regards him apprehensively as something between God and a goat and equally formidable on both scores.

What should they know of England who only England know?

The Lord Chief Justice of England recently said that the greater part of his judicial time was spent investigating collisions between propelled vehicles each on its own side of the road each sounding its horn and each stationary.

No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British which amazes Americans who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute.

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm.

We are articulate but we are not particularly conversational. An Englishman won't talk for the sake of talking. He doesn't mind silence. But after the silence he sometimes says something.

The nice sense of measure is certainly not one of Nature's gifts to her English children ... we have all of us yielded to infatuation at some moment of our lives.

I find the Englishman to be him of all men who stands firmest in his shoes.

One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humour.

An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable.

The British are terribly lazy about fighting. They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.

A Scotch mist may wet an Englishman to the skin.

England is a nation of voyeurs.

George III ought never to have occurred. One can only wonder At so grotesque a blunder.

God save our Gracious King Long live our Noble King God save the King. Send Him victorious Happy and Glorious Long to rule over us God save the King.

His Majesty's dominions on which the sun never sets.

Land of hope and glory Mother of the Free How shall we extol thee who are borne of thee? Wider still and wider shall thy bounds be set God who made thee mighty make thee mightier yet.

Rule Britannia Britannia rule the waves Britains never will be slaves.

The Empire is a Commonwealth of nations.

The House of Lords is a model of how to care for the elderly.

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for 5 days.

There will always be an England While there's a country lane Wherever there's a cottage small Beside a field of grain.

You must not miss Whitehall. At one end you'll find a statue of one of our kings who was beheaded at the other the monument to the man who did it. This is just an example of our attempts to be fair to everybody.

In England I would rather be a man a horse a dog or a woman in that order. In America I think the order would be reversed.

In the end it may well be that Britain will be more honoured by the historians for the way she disposed of an empire than for the way in which she acquired it.

Oh it's a snug little island! A right little tight little island!

I regard England as my wife and America as my mistress.

The Englishman has all the qualities of a poker except its occasional warmth.

Socialism has been preached for so long the British people no longer have any sense of personal responsibility.

Britain's best bulwarks are her wooden walls.

I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

Deploring change is the unchangeable habit of all Englishmen. If you find any important figures who really like change such as Bernard Shaw Keir Hardie Lloyd George Selfridge or Disraeli you will find that they are not really English at all but Irish Scotch Welsh American or Jewish. Englishmen make changes sometimes great changes. But secretly or openly they always deplore them.

Where there is one Englishman there is a garden. Where there are two Englishmen there will be a club. But this does not mean any falling off in the number of gardens. There will be three. The club will have one too.

It seems to me that you can go sauntering along for a certain period telling the English some interesting things about themselves and then all at once it feels as if you had stepped on the prongs of a rake.

The English may not like music but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

That typically English characteristic for which there is no English name -esprit de corps.

The British are just as keen to make money as the Americans but they prefer hypocrisy to a blatantly commercial attitude.

Nothing unites the English like war. Nothing divides them like Picasso.

The British love permanence more than they love beauty.