i love good cries,loud sobs that soak your pillowthat kind that come at the endof a perfect bookyou're gasping for airas droplets of salt water trickle down your cheeksinto the corners of your mouthas your chest rises and fallsand your vision is blurredby the tearsbut your mind is so clear and your every thoughtin that moment feels so meaningfuland important and rightit feels okay to justlet it all outit makes you feel likeyou are free

I don't even know how long she sobs. Time ceases to pass, and she cries, cries, cries. Clutches me and makes these sounds of a soul being ripped in two, the grief so long denied taking its toll. Fermented grief is far more potent.

Mortals dies." said Catarina. "You've always known that, and yet you've loved them before.""Not," Magnus said, "like this."Catarina inhaled in surprise. "Oh," she said. "Oh..." She picked up her drink. "Magnus," she said tenderly. "you are impossibly stupid."He narrowed his eyes at her. "Am I?""If that's the way you feel, you should be with him," she said. "Think of Tessa. Did you learn nothing from her? About what loves are worth the pain of losing them?

I grab the pillows off the bed and chuck them at the reflection in the mirror of the girl I no longer know. I watch as the girl in the mirror stares back at me, sobbing pathetically. The weakness in her tears infuriates me.

She stops speaking, but I can hear her silent sobs. They’re the loudest thing I’ve ever heard.