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I'm jealous of your hooks," Kevin replied. "Having no hands is better than having two equally strong hands."Don't be ridiculous," one of the white-faced women replied. "Having a white face is worse than both of your situations."But you have a white face because you put makeup on," Colette said, as Sunny climbed back out of the trunk and knelt down in the snow. "You're putting powder on your face right now.

Lemony Snicket , in The Slippery Slope
humor funny a-series-of-unfortunate-events lemony slippery-slope snicket

He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked.

Lemony Snicket , in When Did You See Her Last?
rain nasty umbrellas snicket

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does

Lemony Snicket , in Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid
truth fear pain feeling escape truths terror doom lemony snicket
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