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  3. self-loathing
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The trick. . .is to find the balance between the bright colors of humor and the serious issues of identity, self-loathing, and the possibility for intimacy and love when it seems no longer possible or, sadder yet, no longer necessary.

Wendy Wasserstein
life love happiness humor sadness identity balance intimacy self-loathing

It's not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.

Stephen Fry , em Moab Is My Washpot
philosophy books laughter self-image shame body-image isolation depression literature language insecurity social-anxiety self-loathing self-consciousness

I care for no man on earth, and no man on earth cares for me.

Charles Dickens , em A Tale of Two Cities
life philosophy sad alone lonely self-worth depression self-loathing depressed dickens a-tale-of-two-cities charles-dickens sydney-carton

She had said he had been driven away from her by a dream,--and there was no answer one could make her--there seemed to be no forgiveness for such a transgression.And yet is not mankind itself, pushing on its blind way, driven by a dream of its greatness and its power upon the dark paths of excessive cruelty and of excessive devotion. And what is the pursuit of truth, after all?

Joseph Conrad , em Lord Jim
truth pride fear humanity fire mankind grace fall haunted ambition human-condition self-loathing self-hate ambitious-minds ambitious-people driven idlesness self-motivated

And yet is not mankind itself, pushing on its blind way, driven by a dream of its greatness and its power upon the dark paths of excessive cruelty and of excessive devotion. And what is the pursuit of truth, after all?

Joseph Conrad , em Lord Jim
truth pride fear humanity fire mankind grace fall haunted ambition human-condition self-loathing self-hate ambitious-minds ambitious-people driven idlesness self-motivated

How does one kill fear, I wonder? How do you shoot a spectre through the heart, slash off its spectral head, take it by its spectral throat?

Joseph Conrad , em Lord Jim
hate courage hope fear mind anxiety fight mystery mental-illness torture self-loathing fright men-s-heart

You don't believe that your friend could ever do anything great. You despise yourself in secret, even – no, especially – when you stand on your dignity; and since you despise yourself, you are unable to respect your friend. You can't bring yourself to believe that anyone you have sat at table with, or shared a house with, is capable of great achievement. That is why all great men have been solitary. It is hard to think in your company, little man. One can only think 'about' you, or 'for your benefit', not 'with' you, for you stifle all big, generous ideas.

Wilhelm Reich , em Listen, Little Man!
respect success emotional-plague self-loathing narcissism orgone

Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.

Rob Liano
love marriage strength heartbreak relationships women pride lies dating men moving-on self-respect mercy desperate crying value confidence breakups dignity inner-peace trial advice sorrow low-self-esteem self-worth woman in-love self-love settling let-go depression broken hurting single-woman seeing chasing adversity support deja-vu pity giving-up insecurity fool self-empowerment reputation daydreaming competition single-women self-loathing betrayed pathetic dates change-your-life be-positive foolish jealous-women self-denial false-hope ignorant staying-positive warrior-women get-up hanging-on doormat delusional begging better-than-this compete competitive-women decieved denial-big-time exboyfriend find-your-balance get-moving get-over-it know-worth lack-of-confidence lack-of-respect married-women nostalgic see-your-value self-abuse self-degradation stayingpositveu-com true-strength undermining warrior-woman

I am the One, and I see all.But the blind man in Apartment 1-A is blind in many ways, as are all human beings, even those with functioning eyes. They are blind to their folly, to their ignorance, to their history, to the future that they will make for themselves. A future born of self-loathing.

Dean Koontz , em 77 Shadow Street
fear hatred self-loathing human-flaws

The way you think about yourself determines your reality. You are not being hurt by the way people think about you. Many of those people are a reflection of how you think about yourself.

Shannon L. Alder
women jealousy self-acceptance self-esteem confidence envy self-love self-hatred vanity competition self-loathing angry-men jealous-women envious gossipers self-abuse jealous-woman male-ego

Character that is fruit-producing can be summed up in the mastery of these 5 qualities: morals, but a sense of humor; love, but respect for criticism; intelligence without pretense; humility without self-loathing; and a mind open, but with solid convictions.

Criss Jami , em Healology
love wisdom humor intelligence funny character discipline pretense morality holiness moral-compass conviction principles sense-of-humor criticism moral self-loathing open-mindedness funny-but-true fruit compass

I amBroken single motherDisconnected loverSlow motion dresserDark secret confessorWhite flag trendProfessional dead end

Casey Renee Kiser , em Darkness Plays Favorites
darkness despair sadness pain sad psychology society suicide dark sorrow misery depression melancholy hopelessness mental-illness self-loathing distress gloom bipolar-disorder heartach

I write because there is nothing as joyful as writing, even when the writing is twisted and full of hate, the self-hate that makes writing not only possible but necessary. I hate myself, I hate the people around me, but what I crave is the fulfillment of some ideal.

Gary Shteyngart , em Little Failure
hate joy writing self-loathing

I've got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.

D.D. Barant , em Dying Bites
regret depression guilt insomnia self-loathing

When you live with voices in your head, you are drawn inextricably to voices outside your head. Very often the voices work to confirm your worst suspicions. Or think of things you could never have imagined! There are only so many hours of the day to hate yourself.

Emma Forrest , em Your Voice in My Head
depression self-loathing

Well it’s good to have a car like that, once in a while somebody’ll say, ‘why don’t you come over for dinner?’ and I can just say, ‘Car won’t make it.’ I don’t have to tell them that time is scarcer than young pussy around here, and I don’t mean time to write POETRY. I mean time to lay in bed, alone, and stare up at the ceiling and not think at all, not at all, not at all…

Charles Bukowski , em Screams from the Balcony
self-esteem alone depression conflict self-loathing

Talk to ourselves in the same way we'd talk to someone we'd love. Yes, you made a mistake. You're human. You don't have to do it like anyone else does. Fixing it and making amends will help. Self-loathing will not. Reach out to someone we trust--a person who has earned the right to hear our story and who has the capacity to respond with empathy.

Brené Brown , em Rising Strong
trust compassion judgment self-loathing

If you're capable of despising your own behavior, you might just love yourself.

Criss Jami , em Killosophy
love growth humility improvement self-love morality acceptance-of-oneself self-loathing self-hate behavior repentance

Familiarity breeds contempt, for others at first, but then inwardly, contempt towards ourselves.

Oli Anderson , em Synchronesia: A Depressing Existential Novel
growth contempt self-loathing familiarity

[T]hou canst not think worse of me than I do of myself.

Robert Burton , em The Anatomy of Melancholy
self self-esteem self-hatred self-loathing self-esteem-or-lack-thereof

The 2 extremes, neither one worse than the other: the result of bad religion is self-loathing and violence; the result of bad spirituality is self-worship and narcissism.

Criss Jami , em Killosophy
philosophy religion self spirituality worship violence atheism extreme theology apologetics self-loathing result narcissism self-worship theism extremism loathe religion-vs-spirituality

Persons Are Turned against Themselves Evil also turns a person against herself so that self is used against self. The case of the woman who received a dismissal letter from her pastor comes to mind again. The psychological decompensation she suffered was successfully used by her husband to intercede with a psychiatrist of his choosing to commit her to the mental unit of a hospital for an extended involuntary stay, which further worsened her condition. Additional examples abound. Some patients report cults using induced hypnotic states to encourage a subject's dissociated hands and arms to do something hurtful to someone else. In such cases, the subject is encouraged to watch the hand that is hers but not hers (because it is dissociated from her). The end result is often extreme guilt. self-loathing, and distrust of one's self and motives.An incestuous parent may use a child's own natural bodily responses to repeated sexual stimulation to make the point that the child really "wants and enjoys“ what is being forced upon her.

J. Jeffrey Means , em Trauma and Evil: Healing the Wounded Soul
evil self abuse guilt child-abuse mental-illness self-loathing hypnosis dissociation cults emotional-abuse child-sexual-abuse satanic-ritual-abuse ritual-abuse dissociative-identity-disorder cult-abuse perpetuation

If the pursuit of perfection is a way to prove our worth, in the end the pursuit will only prove our imperfections.

Craig D. Lounsbrough
worth self-esteem value self-worth self-confidence prove self-hatred perfection self-loathing imperfections pursuit pursuing

Yes, Eleanor loathed herself and yet required praise, which she then never believed.

Hanif Kureishi , em The Buddha of Suburbia
self-esteem self-loathing praise narcissism

It is better to stay single and wait for the one that makes sense then to marry someone that makes absolutely no sense. The moment you settle is when the one person that makes all the sense in the world shows up and Satan sits back and enjoys your spiritual meltdown.

Shannon L. Alder
mistakes hurt relationships fear pain dating true-love self-esteem choices regret youth confidence shame anger divorce settling misery frustration lessons accountability insecurity devil teenagers sensitivity self-loathing temptation satan hindsight practical bitter confused lack-of-confidence frustrated religious-guilt arranged-marriages guilted civil-union domestic-partnership loss-of-testimony meltdowns

I was worse off than even Alison was; she hated life, I hated mysef. I had created nothing, I belonged to nothingness, to the néant, and it seemed to me that my own death was the only thing left that I could create.

John Fowles , em The Magus
suicide life-and-death self-loathing

I am a dumb piece of meatand I rot everydaymy flesh gives a rotting smelland people say it's the smell of lifeand they come to meand watch me rotand get happy and upset and annoyed and disgusted and maybe sometimes feelcompassionbut they don't realize they are rotting too.

Daul Kim
suicide self-loathing rot daul-kim

A person imbued with compassion and self-understanding can readily love oneself and exhibit endless sympathy for all people. A person who is unkind to their self can never transcend their corrupt barriers much less run into the world with open arms enthusiastically embracing humankind and all of nature with uninhibited friendliness and goodwill.

Kilroy J. Oldster , em Dead Toad Scrolls
empathy self-acceptance self-respect self-awareness self-love sympathy self-loathing human-rights self-love-quotes self-understanding empathy-for-others love-of-nature love-of-neighbor

Your skin is your skin. Your legs are your legs. Your hair is your hair. Your smile is your smile. Your past is your past. You can waste your life hating these things, but you may as well learn to accept them. Both routes are difficult and full of pain, but with acceptance, you will be happy one day, while with hatred, you never will.

Vironika Tugaleva
self-acceptance self-respect self-love self-hatred self-loathing self-compassion

Perhaps the most liberating moment in my life was when I realized that my self-loathing was not a product of my inadequacy but, rather, a product of my thoughts.

Vironika Tugaleva , em The Love Mindset: An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness
hope healing self-hatred mindfulness insecurity thinking self-loathing self-hate

I am wretched. Destitute.

M.L. Rio
sad self-loathing

I should have seen it coming.” The words don’t surprise me, but they piss me off. I pull away and glare down at her. “Don’t you fucking dare, Nell Hawthorne. Don’t you dare put this on yourself. You should never have to see shit like this coming.” She backs away, stunned and afraid by the intensity I know is radiating off me. “Colton, I just meant he’s always shown—” “Stop. Just stop right there. Granted, you should’ve never gotten involved with a douchetard like him, but that’s no excuse for what he did.

Jasinda Wilder
pain sad blame shame denial falling guilt self-loathing rape jasinda-wilder displacement falling-into-you nell colton nell-hawthorne

Speculation, movements having abandoned rational thought, echo chambers, projection, hypocrisy by little to no self-awareness, bewildering minds brainwashed and manipulative hearts manipulated - one is sure to find these à la people cock-sure in their biased and fanatical, immovable despising of persons. We would all do well to humbly re-think from time to time: 'Whom do I really hate? For what purpose?

Criss Jami
hate emotion pride self-awareness thought confusion hypocrisy manipulation self-loathing self-hate projection hypocrisy-in-everyone echo-chamber

I've seen you fuck up one major relationship. I'll be damned if I let you ruin this one as well!

Stjepan Šejić , em Sunstone, Vol. 5
romance anger self-loathing relationship-advice lisa lesbian-characters lgbtqia-characters stjepan-sejic sunstone life-of-ruin

When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.

Chuck Palahniuk , em Invisible Monsters
hate self-loathing

Being here alone with nothing to do, I've been thinking about myself too. Trying to understand why I hate myself so badly.

Orson Scott Card , em Ender's Game
hate lesson self-loathing ender

I won't sleepif that's what it takesto not wake upas myself

Casey Renee Kiser , em Hold Me Under: Poems to Drown to
sleep identity insomnia self-loathing bi-polar

He wished he could be anywhere else and anyone else but Here and Him.

James R. Silvestri , em Hawthorn Road
identity dissatisfaction self-loathing

I'm going to Hell in a basketWeaved in from my sinsLike wickerWith little Wiccan tiesAs if I'm a witchAccused

Matthew Little , em Hell in a Basket: A small collection of personal poems.
poetry sin glbt self-loathing sinning self-pity

I realize today that nothing in the world is more distasteful to a man than to take the path that leads to himself.

Hermann Hesse , em Demian. Die Geschichte von Emil Sinclairs Jugend
humility self-realization humble existentialism self-loathing existential

I hate the thought that I'm just some kind of Russian nesting doll with the big outside and inevitably, rattling around under all the layers, a crude little peg with a face is the truth of me.

Wendy McClure , em I'm Not the New Me
self-worth insecurity self-loathing

As incompetent in life as in death, I loathe myself and in this loathing I dream of another life, another death. And for having sought to be a sage such as never was, I am only a madman among the mad . . .

Emil M. Cioran , em A Short History of Decay
life death madness self-loathing

Why does shame and self-loathing become cruelty to the innocent ?

Anne Rice , em Merrick
shame self-loathing

Personal disillusionment accompanied by self-pity and self-loathing are the Achilles’ heel of modern humankind, representing the weakness of the human spirit.

Kilroy J. Oldster , em Dead Toad Scrolls
disappointment human-spirit self-loathing disillusionment self-pity disillusion disillusioned destructive-human-behavior

If we internalize every disappointing setback with contempt and self-loathing, a life of solitary confinement and discontentment awaits us. It’s a verdict indicted by a prosecution, deliberated by a jury and condemned by a judge…all three being you. We imprison ourselves when we allow outside negative circumstances and people dictate who we are. You can dwell in that cell…but only you can exonerate you. ~Jason Versey

Jason Versey , em A Walk with Prudence
disappointment self-loathing

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