When you love people, you are curious about who they are, what they think, and how they feel. You watch them closely, wondering about their experience and what you can do to make it more enjoyable. You feel compassion for their pain and seek to make it more bearable. You are eager to learn the unique language of their existence. You want to under-stand them, inspire them, heal them. What if you could look at yourself this way?
There were moments when it hurt so bad you couldn’t breathe, yet somehow you survived the pain. There were days when you could barely put one foot in front of the other, yet somehow you arrived at your destination. There were nights when you cried yourself to sleep, yet somehow you held on until the morning. Your life is nothing less than a miracle.
Self care is any action you purposefully take to improve your physical, emotional or spiritual well being. Too often, we do not make time for sufficient self care because we’re too busy taking care of others. Life’s demands at home, in our community and at work can take our lives out of balance. Self care can be getting more rest, eating healthier food, spending more time in thoughtful reflection, being kinder to yourself, smiling more, playing, or engaging in any activity that renews you. By making time for self care, you prepare yourself to be your best so you can share your gifts with the world. You cannot serve from an empty vessel. © 2017 Eleanor Brownn eleanorbrownn.com
Self-care is how you take your power back.
Please be kind to your body, take care of it; because it loves you unconditionally. There is an army/ a plethora of organisms that are at work day and night without a moment’s respite to keep it going. It protects you from illnesses; repairs cuts and heals broken bones. Your heart doesn’t stop beating, even when you are asleep or resting; it snatches those very few moments between heartbeats. Despite the misuse that you put it to, it always faithfully and dutifully takes it in its stride. In a nutshell- it never lets you down and serves you with all its heart. So, be kind to it, don’t punish it for loving you.
Tackle your problems without delay, face them head on. Don’t shy away from taking decisions- however unpleasant they may be. By doing so you are taking care of yourself. Yes, even tackling a problem is self care because you have freed your mind from that nagging feeling of “yet to face the problem.” Mundane tasks like washing your clothes, getting rid of old stuff that you don’t need any more, sitting down to study for that test, confronting those who are making you uncomfortable, getting rid of those people who pull you down and fill you with negativity are steps in the right direction, Your worst enemy is procrastination.
I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days. It overwhelms me as I’m sitting on the bus; watching the golden leaves from a window; a sudden burst of realisation in the middle of the night. I can’t help it and I can’t stop it. I’m alone as I’ve always been and sometimes it hurts…. but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. To comfort my own heart when I wake up sad. To find small bits of friendship in a crowd full of strangers. To find a small moment of joy in a blue sky, in a trip somewhere not so far away, a long walk an early morning in December, or a handwritten letter to an old friend simply saying ”I thought of you. I hope you’re well.”No one will come and save you. No one will come riding on a white horse and take all your worries away. You have to save yourself, little by little, day by day. Build yourself a home. Take care of your body. Find something to work on. Something that makes you excited, something you want to learn. Get yourself some books and learn them by heart. Get to know the author, where he grew up, what books he read himself. Take yourself out for dinner. Dress up for no one but you and simply feel nice. it’s a lovely feeling, to feel pretty. You don’t need anyone to confirm it.I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days, but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. Slowly building myself a home with things I like. Colors that calm me down, a plan to follow when things get dark, a few people I try to treat right. I don’t sometimes, but it’s my intent to do so. I’m learning.I’m learning to make things nice for myself. I’m learning to save myself.I’m trying, as I always will.
The moment you have to recruit people to put another person down, in order to convince someone of your value is the day you dishonor your children, your parents and your God. If someone doesn't see your worth the problem is them, not people outside your relationship.
A butterfly does not wonder how it can stop being a caterpillar. It simply feels some feeling from within that tells it: isolate yourself in this cocoon and grow within it. It trusts that feeling. When it comes out, it is radiant and beautiful. All the little bug did was follow its nature. You are no different.
[G]rowing into your future with health and grace and beauty doesn’t have to take all your time. It rather requires a dedication to caring for yourself as if you were rare and precious, which you are, and regarding all life around you as equally so, which it is. (267-268)
Peace is not always easy to grasp or keep close. In the process of attaining and protecting it, you may find yourself tired, weary, and uncertain on how to keep your peace safe. While being uncertain is normal, continue to commit yourself to peacefulness. You are worthy of every drop of sweetness and ease that you encounter. Being tested is a part of the journey. Giving up, and letting go, is not.
It’s common to reject or punish yourself when you’ve been rejected by others. When you experience disappointment from the way your family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself? Find a healthy way to express your pain.
Book club meets every other month or so. Besides marriage counseling and the very occasional night out with my sister, I’m home twenty-nine nights out of thirty, and still the girls resent me. Not once have they ever complained about Adam’s late meetings—which may or may not have been booty calls for amazing porno sex. Me, I go out to my stupid book club, and I’m punished for it.
I also learned what I and many other wives were doing wrong. We were neglecting ourselves. We were born women yet were taking care of our roles as mom, employee or wife before we took care of ourselves. But in order to adequately fulfill those roles, we have to put ourselves first.
I encourage you, to take control to take back your power. Make the time and effort to invest in yourself. Self-care and healing. Taking time for stillness and contemplation. Reflect on your own behaviour. Decide what kind of person you want to be and then take the steps to be that person.
Every morning, look in the mirror and affirm positive words into your life.
If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated.
How can a falling dove turn again into a flying dove once again? It really takes the eyes of someone who sees you for the beauty that you really are. And if there are no other eyes there to see you in that way, then you had better be those pair of eyes, for yourself, to see yourself with!
Self-love for me means accepting who I am and dealing with the perceived flaws that I live with. It is also accepting that sometimes I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and I do not think that I am enough. The point to all of this, is acknowledging this part about me. When I acknowledge it then it becomes easy for me to seek self-love through managing the moments when I don’t feel like I love myself. I am constantly working towards finding ways that enable me to value myself.
Bad feminism seems like the only way I can both embrace myself as a feminist and be myself, and so I write. I chatter away on Twitter about everything that makes me angry and all the small things that bring me joy. I write blog posts about the meals I cook as I try to take better care of myself, and with each new entry, I realize that I'm undestroying myself after years of allowing myself to stay damaged.
one day you will wake up, you will see with clear sight all that has held you back; you will feel lighter because you finally accept who you are. You will shine with flawless beauty because your happiness comes from the purity of your heart and one day I hope you realise all of this, before it's too late; because darling, if we spent our years nurturing the best of ourselves, heaven would be felt on earth.
as architect of choosing...choose. to. live.awakened. entirely. wholly.wildly powerful, deeply masterful, authentically creative,thriving. this is not a hoped-for possible self.[reminder: this is an immutable Law of your being]needing not to learn the skill of being whole, the antidote is to unlearn the habit of living incompletelyhere’s the practice:‘know thyself‘—its about spirit righteousness is underratedelevate connection with the changeless essenceseek similitude with the will of Source and will of self'choose thyself'—its about substancesacred. sagacious. spacious.in thought, word and deed—intend to: honor virtue. innovate enthusiastically. master integrity.'become who you are'—its about style a human, being an entrepreneur of life experiencesa human, being a purveyor of preferencesbeing-well with the known experience of soul, in serviceyour relationship with insecurities, contradictions, & failures?obstacles or...invitations to grow?[mindset forms manifestation]emotions are messengers are giftsdata for discernment: dare to deconstruct them your fearsa belief renovation: fear.less. & aspire towards ascendance, anywaysupport your shinelean into the Lightbe.come.incandescentas architect of choosing, I choose... to disrupt the energy of the status quo,to eclipse the realms of ordinary,& to live--a life-well lived.w/ spirit, substance & style.
Even you, the professional helper, often mistaken for the enlightened Guru or Staretz, can become lost in your thoughts that you must be competent without fault. You may become enthralled with your identity as a professional, even the pressures of the culture of mastery that expects you to heal your clients without fail. Never mind all of the variables over which you have no control, it is up to you, according to the canons of mastery, to control the health and well-being of those for whom you provide professional care. This potentiates a furthering alienation between you and your clients. You are at risk to become, if you have not already, the one who does to your clients; to be the one the active subject acting upon the passive and receptive objects, your clients; to be the one in possession of special knowledge, technique and mastery. All of this conspires to coax or coerce you into treating your client as reduced, a mere case. Unawareness to these influences gives you little chance to consider their influence on your practice in the clinical setting, much less give attentive efforts to resist or change them.
Bring it up, make amends, forgive yourself. It sounds simple, but don’t think for a second that it is easy. Getting free from the tyranny of past mistakes can be hard work, but definitely worth the effort. And the payoff is health, wholeness and inner peace. In other words, you get your life back.
Today and onwards, I stand proud, for the bridges I've climbed, for the battles I've won, and for the examples I've set, but most importantly, for the person I have become. I like who I am now, finally, at peace with me...
The primary thing that people are going to try to take away from you— is the purity of your happiness. Rare is it to find in someone a pure happiness. A happiness so innocent, so spontaneous and so raw... it is the way we are born but it is most often not the way that we die. The world comes in and tries to take that away from you. People come in and try to take that away from you. I have learned not to jump into the pigsty with them. You have to protect the purity of your happiness and the innocence of your joy. People WILL try to take it away. Don't go there, don't let them. Keep what is yours.
When someone is cruel, harsh, mean, to not take their words personally is one thing, but to hear the silent cry within those words is another. This sort of perspective can not only liberate us from crippling self-doubt in the face of criticism, it can also liberate us from automatically becoming blind participants in the interaction patterns that the cruel person has become accustomed to—a favour we do for the other person as much as for ourselves.
Let those feelings out. Talk about it. Even if you’re talking to your journal by yourself in an empty room. That still counts. That still matters.If you know someone who’s struggling and isolated, help them talk about it. Even if they don’t have the right words. Even if you sit in silence as they try to feel safe. Even if they shower you with complaints, excuses, and justifications. Even if you can see they’re just playing small, being irrational, blaming circumstances. Just be there. It all counts. It all matters.
Mademoiselle, I speak as a friend. Bury your dead! ... Give up the past! Turn to the future! What is done is done. Bitterness will not undo it.''I'm sure that would suit dear Linnet admirably.'Poirot made a gesture. 'I am not thinking of her at this moment! I am thinking of you. You have suffered - yes - but what you are doing now will only prolong the suffering.
Individuality is different than isolation. Isolation is trying to do everything on your own, living life by yourself. Isolation happens when you choose not to be involved in any communities, making sure you keep a safe distance from people in your life. I’m not recommending isolation. Science, psychology, and religion all suggest long term isolation is dangerous and unhealthy.
Act, think, do, according to your truth, according to who you are, and who you want to be. Congruency matters. How can you escape when you betray your heart, your passion, your needs and your mind? There is no hiding. It will eat you alive. Even if it is difficult, even if it may seem impossible, stay true to yourself. No one can live this life but you. If you live your life solely for others but never for yourself, you will impair your ability to truly help others. Whatever is within us always seeps out through our words, actions and behaviour. If we sabotage ourselves by doing what we may think we are supposed to, according to others but not according to our own hearts, what will our children and loved ones think? What are we showing the world when we betray our very nature? Will others think this is an act of love or self-love? Worse still if others then attempt to mimic it and do the same. Would you want your child deeply unhappy because they were following what they thought they had to, what was expected? If you wouldn't wish that for your child, then don't wish it for yourself either. Be just as loving and caring to yourself as you would be to those you love the most. Learn to love yourself enough to allow yourself to dream, explore, follow your passions, and even risk failure. Follow the truths that are carried within the heart of your soul.
There is no cowardice in removing yourself from a wildly unhealthy and unwinnable situation . . . You shouldn't feel like you have to play . . . you don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to be available to everyone. You can stop.
Who can see inside the deepest recesses of your imagination and manifest those wishes into your daily experience? Who can appreciate those subtle nuances of character you've acquired by overcoming your deepest fears? Who can truly respect those things that are no longer a part of you because of all your work to release them? Who can see the strength left behind in the wake of your unique struggles and obstacles? Who will see you for who you are, appreciating everything that is there, everything that is not, everything that can be, if you do not? Who else can?
You have a great body. It is an intricate piece of technology and a sophisticated super-computer. It runs on peanuts and even regenerates itself. Your relationship with your body is one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have. And since repairs are expensive and spare parts are hard to come by, it pays to make that relationship good.
When you find yourself drowning in self-hate, you have to remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way. That at some point in your journey, some person or experience sent you the message that there was something wrong with who you are, and you internalized those messages and took them on as your truth. But that hate isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you. And in the same way that you learned to think badly of yourself, you can learn to think new, self-loving and accepting thoughts. You can learn to challenge those beliefs, take away their power, and reclaim your own. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen over night. But it is possible. And it starts when you decide that there has to be more to life than this pain you feel. It starts when you decide that you deserve to discover it.
The biggest enemies of willpower: temptation, self-criticism, and stress. (...) these three skills —self-awareness, self-care, and remembering what matter most— are the foundation for self-control.
If you're struggling with problems or issues and you don't take the time to look after yourself, this will affect your ability to do well for others. Everything will suffer, your interactions, your relationships and the things you set out to do. It is necessary to take rest when you need it, to look after yourself, to keep yourself healthy, and to take some reprieve. Taking the best care of your health that you can is vital. There is no shame in looking after yourself! Being at the best you can be will allow you to give your best. It is not noble or loving to constantly sacrifice your well-being for that of others. People who love you would never want that from you. It hurts everyone involved.Take care of yourself first!
The phrase 'Love one another' is so wise. By loving one another, we invest in each other and in ourselves. Perhaps someday, when we need someone to care for us, it may not come from the person we expect, but from the person we least expect. It may be our sons or daughter-in-laws, our neighbors, friends, cousins, stepchildren, or stepparents whose love for us has assigned them to the honorable, yet dangerous position of caregiver.
One of the things that strikes me most though is how some people don't realise they're self-harming. The phrase 'self-harm' brings up thoughts of 'cutting', but that's only a small portion of it. When you drink excessively to drown your sorrows to the point you throw up and can't see straight and/or, like a girl at my school, ended up being driven to hospital to have her stomach pumped, you've brought harm to yourself. If you take drugs to feel numb and it becomes an addiction that you can't break, you've self-harmed. When you starve yourself or binge eat to fit the latest fashions, you're pushing your body further than it can go.We need to start treating ourselves how we deserve to be treated, even if you feel that no one else does. Prove to the world you ARE worth something by treating yourself with the utmost respect and hope that other people will follow your example. And even if they don't, at least one person in the world is treating you well: YOU.