I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days. It overwhelms me as I’m sitting on the bus; watching the golden leaves from a window; a sudden burst of realisation in the middle of the night. I can’t help it and I can’t stop it. I’m alone as I’ve always been and sometimes it hurts…. but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. To comfort my own heart when I wake up sad. To find small bits of friendship in a crowd full of strangers. To find a small moment of joy in a blue sky, in a trip somewhere not so far away, a long walk an early morning in December, or a handwritten letter to an old friend simply saying ”I thought of you. I hope you’re well.”No one will come and save you. No one will come riding on a white horse and take all your worries away. You have to save yourself, little by little, day by day. Build yourself a home. Take care of your body. Find something to work on. Something that makes you excited, something you want to learn. Get yourself some books and learn them by heart. Get to know the author, where he grew up, what books he read himself. Take yourself out for dinner. Dress up for no one but you and simply feel nice. it’s a lovely feeling, to feel pretty. You don’t need anyone to confirm it.I get so god damn lonely and sad and filled with regrets some days, but I’m learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking. I’m learning to make things nice for myself. Slowly building myself a home with things I like. Colors that calm me down, a plan to follow when things get dark, a few people I try to treat right. I don’t sometimes, but it’s my intent to do so. I’m learning.I’m learning to make things nice for myself. I’m learning to save myself.I’m trying, as I always will.

as architect of choosing...choose. to. live.awakened. entirely. wholly.wildly powerful, deeply masterful, authentically creative,thriving. this is not a hoped-for possible self.[reminder: this is an immutable Law of your being]needing not to learn the skill of being whole, the antidote is to unlearn the habit of living incompletelyhere’s the practice:‘know thyself‘—its about spirit righteousness is underratedelevate connection with the changeless essenceseek similitude with the will of Source and will of self'choose thyself'—its about substancesacred. sagacious. spacious.in thought, word and deed—intend to: honor virtue. innovate enthusiastically. master integrity.'become who you are'—its about style a human, being an entrepreneur of life experiencesa human, being a purveyor of preferencesbeing-well with the known experience of soul, in serviceyour relationship with insecurities, contradictions, & failures?obstacles or...invitations to grow?[mindset forms manifestation]emotions are messengers are giftsdata for discernment: dare to deconstruct them your fearsa belief renovation: fear.less. & aspire towards ascendance, anywaysupport your shinelean into the Lightbe.come.incandescentas architect of choosing, I choose... to disrupt the energy of the status quo,to eclipse the realms of ordinary,& to live--a life-well lived.w/ spirit, substance & style.