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Jace broke off the kiss and stepped back with an exhale; before Clary could say anything, a chorus of sarcastic applause broke out from the nearby hill. Simon, Isabelle, and Alec waved at them. Jace bowed while Clary stepped back slightly sheepishly, hooking her thumbs into the belt of her jeansJace sighed. "Shall we join our annoying, voyeuristic friends?""Unfortunately, that's the only kind of friends we have.

Cassandra Clare , em City of Heavenly Fire
love friends clary jace shadowhunters sarcastic

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

Jess C. Scott , em Rockstar
humor work god religion humour society money worship sarcasm materialism devil sarcastic working bromance rat-race job core-values satan mm rockstar commercialism core core-of-the-soul sarcastic-humor sarcastic-quotes yaoi

Keep your heads up! We are sinking!

Ljupka Cvetanova , em The New Land
optimism funny optimistic sink sarcasm trouble positive-attitude keep quote problem solution quotes sarcastic aphorism optimist witty keep-your-head-up irony-quotes problem-solvingolving

Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky

Ljupka Cvetanova , em The New Land
funny keep quote irony quotes whiskey sarcastic keep-trying aphorism aphorisms keep-walking

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.

Stephenie Meyer , em Eclipse
funny bella-swan sarcastic

Girls, on the other hand, have always come easy. I don't know why that is, exactly. Maybe it's the outsider vibe and a well-placed brooding look. Maybe it's something I think I see sometimes in the mirror, something that reminds me of my father. Or maybe I'm just damn easy on the eyes.

Kendare Blake , em Anna Dressed in Blood
love funny attraction anna sarcastic anna-dressed-in-blood cas cassio

I started down but Sam caught my arm and knelt down himself to look. "For crying out loud," he said. "It's a racoon." "Poor thing," I said. "It could be a rabid baby-killer," Cole told me primly. "Shut up," Sam said pleasantly.

Maggie Stiefvater , em Forever
funny grace-brisbane sam-roth cole-st-clair sarcastic prim rabid racoon wolves-of-mercy-falls

No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.

Rachel Hawkins , em Demonglass
funny sarcastic jenna demonglass

By the light," he said, when he had mastered himself. "I think that beats singing a lullaby to a stormdog for simplicity and economy, Maerad. But I wish I had known that you simply had to blow at Hulls to get rid of them. It would have saved me a few scars.

Alison Croggon , em The Singing
humor funny sarcastic

I love the sound of it," Trina whispers, as if speaking too loudly might interrupt the drumming patter of the rain outside. "It makes me want to sleep. Snuggle my head right up in your armpit and snore for three days.""My armpit?" Mark repeats. "Good thing we all showered up in the storm this morning. My pits smell like roses. Go ahead and get comfy.

James Dashner , em The Kill Order
funny cute sarcastic

So what's it to be, Bear?"Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh."By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.

Sherrilyn Kenyon , em No Mercy
funny sarcastic

You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote!

Rachel Vincent , em Prey
funny faythe-sanders sarcastic prey ethan-sanders

The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.

Criss Jami , em Killosophy
humor people pride logic true family funny sarcasm belief statistics illogical bias sarcastic country mystery patriotic arrogance patriotism funny-but-true nationalism superiority nation patriot inferiority arrogant irrational estimation prideful superior clan estimate estimated inferior percent percentage stat statistic stats

Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.

Jennifer Lynn Barnes , em Killer Spirit
funny sarcastic cheerleaders toby

Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.

Will McIntosh , em Soft Apocalypse
humor funny sarcastic

I'm still furious with you," she murmured, kissing a line down his chest."Oh, God, please don't be furious," he choked out quickly. "Every female I know is furious with me. Rosalyn throws tantrums, and Charlotte hasn't spoken to me or written since you left." He moved his hands to unbutton her gown. "The morning I thought you'd sailed out of my life I started drinking and didn't stop until I'd finished two bottles. For three days I had a blistering headache, and Nedda couldn't for the life of her stop banging things." He groaned. "And I can't even begin to tell you about your sisters.

Adele Ashworth , em My Darling Caroline
love funny sarcastic angry

Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. "My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War Department has had on file since its inception." She huffed with pure, disgusted outrage, lowering her gaze to the floor to murmur, "I'll kill him.

Adele Ashworth , em My Darling Caroline
funny sarcastic husband-and-wife

My maid never sweeps under the bed so I asked her to do so today. Found a pen, three pairs of shoes and the man I had lost two years ago.

Sanhita Baruah
love joke funny lost sarcasm man sarcastic today room clean dirt dust found cleaning room-service servant shoes bedroom one-liner maid maids wipe sweep roommates broomstick under-the-bed broom broomsticks cleans sandals sweeping sweeps underneath years-later

She let out a strangled laugh. “Yeah, that’s how it works. I just woke up one morning and was like, ‘gee, I want to screw Kyler.’ Seriously, you have no clue.

Jennifer Armentrout , em Frigid
funny sarcastic waking-up frigid

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you’re smart, you’ll end up as a comedian. If you’re not, you’ll end up as a clown.

Ljupka Cvetanova , em The New Land
people humour funny fun comedian quote irony quotes yourself sarcastic stupid smart aphorism clever aphorisms clown sarcasam make-fun-of clown-quotes end-up ironically

If this constant bitter disappointment was love, then I was perfectly fine not to have anything to do with it.

Vann Chow , em Shanghai Nobody
love sadness breakup pain disappointment sad relationship bitterness love-hurts sarcastic sarcastic-humor sarcastic-quotes giving-up-on-love sarcastic-love-quotes

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

Jess C. Scott , em Blind Leading Another
marriage lust married-life cynicism control sarcasm spouse lust-for-everything sarcastic cynical cynic cynical-humor sarcastic-humor control-freaks spouses control-issues

The only difference between having an affair here and having an affair there was that the American men would always ended up losing half of his estates over a woman he was infatuated just as much as the next tramp who would come his way, while Japanese men would only earn more respect from their subordinates through the possession of much younger women, as a sign of prowess and affluence, while their wives at home, as if there were rule books distributed nationally on the “proper” marriage etiquette for all young Japanese women to read before they enter into the matrimony, would turn a blind eye on their disloyalty quietly.

Vann Chow , em The White Man and the Pachinko Girl
love marriage matrimony relationship morals boyfriend girlfriend love-affair affair morality men-and-women sarcastic japan asian women-and-men american-culture wedding office-romance asia immoral disloyalty disloyal asian-culture cultural-difference not-loyal social-moral

While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believethat if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well inmy life.

Vann Chow , em Shanghai Nobody
humor positive-thinking self-actualization self-help humorous sarcastic humorous-quotes modern-life hierarchy-of-needs maslow-s-hierarchy-of-needs needs-pyramid

Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.

Richard Belzer
humor music funny wife dog weird sarcastic cynical country mystery job back cynical-humor

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Josh Stern , em And That’s Why I’m Single
relationships humor people mind funny absurd failure sarcasm communication sarcastic conversations

I don't like him. He makes me laugh. It'll wrinkle my face.

Ljupka Cvetanova , em The New Land
love smile real-love laugh woman man quote smiling irony quotes sincerity face sarcastic aphorism make laugh-out-loud like my artificial him aphorisms pure-love wrinkle smiling-face artificial-love sarcasa

If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles.

Ryan Lilly
humor motivation motivational quote quotes sarcastic sarcastic-humor sarcastic-quotes eagles humor-quotes business-humor

Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs.

Vann Chow , em Shanghai Nobody
women dating men sarcastic humorous-quote china gender-inequality finding-a-girlfriend gender-imbalance

I don’t even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell.

Shannon L. Alder
heaven knowing humor god joke hell funny confidence writer communication sarcastic satire arguments sassy philosophers thinker communicator debating inspirational-writer

All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?""Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable ones?

Noelle Crawford , em Pinnacle of Glory
humorous sarcastic ideas plan

How many kids are in the Graveyard?""A bunch.""Who sends your supplies?""George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget.""How often do you receive new arrivals?""About as often as you beat your wife.

Neal Shusterman , em UnWholly
humor sarcasm humorous sarcastic snark risa-ward

The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)

Shawn Durnin
humor humorous sarcastic sarcastic-humor

We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon

Eleni Papanou , em Unison
humorous sarcastic

Gankis lifted an arm to point at the distant shale cliffs. "And in the face of it there were thousands of little holes, little what-you-call-'ems...""Alcoves," Kennit supplied in an almost dreamy voice. "I call them alcoves, Gankis. As would you, if you could speak your own mother tongue.

Robin Hobb , em Ship of Magic
funny name mother sarcasm word question wit voice language answer sarcastic witty point tongue cliff response blank title captain arm query alcoves

We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.

Sandra Chami Kassis
wisdom humor funny sarcasm revolution mind-power sarcastic ideas social-media twitter

One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.

Travis J. Dahnke , em Write like no one is reading
humor food thought sarcastic restaurant waiter shoving sirloin

God is always willing to give you the best life possible. If you change your mind at any time you are free to go back to enjoying hell.

Shannon L. Alder
god hell choices sarcastic add-humor got-to-laugh

I'll never understand ninety-nine percent of humanity. - Enoch

Ransom Riggs , em Hollow City
life inspirational humor confusion attitude sarcastic critical sarcastic-humor peculiar spunk enoch miss-peregrine ransom-riggs

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?""If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

Jasper Fforde
love romance romantic money sarcasm sarcastic cash

Murderous thieves make their home here." She failed to keep the tremor from her voice. "Absolutely," Jonas replied."Dangerous animals too.""Without a doubt."She slanted a look toward him. "Perfect place for you."He repressed a snort. "Oh, such compliments, your highness. You're going to make me blush.

Morgan Rhodes
humor funny awesome sarcasm great sarcastic make-me-laugh

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

J.D. Salinger , em The Catcher in the Rye
sarcasm sarcastic mood

She decided to make his life as terrible, tragic and complicated as possible, so that some day Percy Jackson would have a really hard time writing about it.

Rick Riordan , em Percy Jackson's Greek Heroes
percy-jackson sarcasm sarcastic hera hercules

Have you noticed we can breathe in here too?Gosh, I wouldn't have picked up on that.

Dan Abnett , em Hereticus
sarcasm question sarcastic stupid air breath smartass

Goody. That must be why they were looking for a 22-caliber anything when they came by with their search warrant this morning.''They didn't!''They did.''When?''Oddly enough, right before I upped my meds.

Sandra Balzo , em Triple Shot
sarcasm search sarcastic police sarcastic-humor bipolar-disorder search-warrant

Your middle name might be discreet, but mine is resourceful, Darling.

Ella Dominguez , em Continental Life
erotic-romance sarcastic romantic-quotes romantic-love

Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats.

Rucy Ban
love passion sexy sarcastic witty alpha

wen thectaste of my own medicine is given to me results into silent treatment,its not bitter therefore i enjoy the medicine i gave you too.

Mohlalefi j motsima
metaphor sweet hot science sarcastic unexpected fairness bitter similie

If one wishes to elicit a reaction from the elusive species known as 'reservus quietgirlius,' one must poke.

Jules Barnard , em Deep Blue
funny cute sarcastic

Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you're one messed up mess.""I know!" I exclaimed before breaking off into a fit of laughter. "I ought to be admitted or put on some serious medication or something.

K.R. Grace , em The Phoenix
funny cute sarcastic

I sort of fell.""Percy! Six hundred and thirty feet?

Rick Riordan , em The Lightning Thief
humor books funny mythology falling sarcastic greek lol lightning myths feet percy haha fell

It’s so obvious that you’re gonna ask a good looking dude to be with you for the rest of your holiday while you only know his name for like 2 hours, 32 minutes, 12 seconds.”“Trisha! Being mean is my job! June, you’re so predictable, like, it’s not a shock for us if you’re gonna ask a good looking dude to be with you for the rest of your holiday while you only know his name for like 2 hours, 33 minutes, 2 seconds.

Rea Lidde , em Mission Possible, But Difficult Task
girl crush boy sarcastic holiday

The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.

David C. Holley , em Write like no one is reading
funny awkward sarcastic random witty dispair black-pit

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