Because if you don't know someone all that well, you react to their surface qualities, the superficial stereotypes they throw off like sparks... But once you fight through the sparks and get to the person, you find just that, a person, a big jumble of likes, dislikes, fears, and desires.
The boy I once was is a stranger to me, and sometimes I wonder if terrible experiences are enough to change a person - I mean fundamentally to change a person's nature - or if they merely subdue it, and it endures there beneath, and will reassert itself in time. I wonder if I will be recognized by my family. If those I love will still know me.