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Voltar

Puns are the highest form of literature.

Alfred Hitchcock
humor funny literature puns

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.

Terry Pratchett , em Night Watch
humor funny politics puns

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
humor infidelity joke sex humour funny secret affair adultery language humorous cheat cheaters ambiguity satire jokes coming aphorism puns catch hilarious sperm come cheater unfaithful orgasm aphorisms sexual-intercourse amour uncertain aphorist aphorists obscure stray extramarital two-time two-timing orgasms semen sperms falseness disloyalty dubious unfaithfulness ambiguous a-bit-on-the-side a-play-on-words abstruse ambivalent arguable be-unfaithful came carrying-on catch-read-handed caught caught-red-handed commit-adultery cuckoldry debatable doubtful equivocal extramarital-sex fling fool-around fooling-around hanky-panky imprecise liaison open-to-argument open-to-debate play-around play-on-words playing-around pun red-handed spermatozoa spermatozoon unclear vague walk-on walked-on

In Science don't confound Normal static electricity To ecstatic eccentricity. Here is what I found: Electric charges As they rise up your hair In contrast with a discharge, Rarity leaves you up in the air!

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ACross Tic
joke science energy eccentric puns hair funny-quotes electricity eccentricity studies rarity electrical electromagnetic scientific-discovery acrostics electric electric-charge in-the-air

There are always messages, even enigmas to be searched, mysteries to be solved in all of my books. I like to puzzle readers, but I do not make so to the point of being so complex that they will lose interest in the plot. And that for me is the essence of every great literature around the world, and that’s been so for ages.(....)Some were inpired by real life characters, some other books I wrote are hybrid fiction/non-fiction, so I pretty much get inspired by people who have lived, and even who are still breathing among us… so don’t get discouraged if I didn’t mention your personality traits yet. I might even have your name over my books, I must some day…

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ONE HUNDRED ONE WORLD ACCOUNTS in ONE HUNDRED ONE WORD COUNT
life reality imagination inspiration people funny writing fictional-characters tales characters creative-process creative-writing jokes real-people puns traits habits odd tips people-relations short-stories hybrid mix writing-tips mystery-novels accounts real-life-drama oddity chronicles enigmas mysteries-of-life one-hundred-one real-character

If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will that be considered too intimi-dating? And if the thoughts are proved to be untrue, but your friend still insists on believing in them anyway, would that be considered a cons-piracy?

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ONE HUNDRED ONE WORLD ACCOUNTS in ONE HUNDRED ONE WORD COUNT
friendship dating thoughts secret secrets stories conversation thinking secrecy jokes ally joining confident puns conspiracy piracy meeting agreement tell mysterious private untrue mysteries whispers secretive partner intimidate telling-stories accounts private-thoughts play-on-words intimidating acting-togethher confining converting deceives intimate-conversation lies-mischief private-eye privately secrecies tales-of-the-city true-accounts urban-life

Anyway, my writer gang: they kind of did their comedy apprenticeship with me and, during that period, when they were young and impressionable, I think I infected them with my pun virus. They grew to enjoy puns, think puns, just as much as me. The problem is people don't really like puns any more, so I worry I've rendered the poor fuckers virtually unemployable.

Frank Skinner , em Frank Skinner on the Road
humour comedy puns

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy.

Bob Hope , em The Road to Hollywood: My 40-Year Love Affair with the Movies
art humour film puns hollywood

I was in my element, excuse the pun.

Adele Rose , em Awakening
humour alex puns element

Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ACross Tic
poetry humor food humour words poems dinner humorous jokes puns bread humour-quote humourous-situations across acrostic spreading hummus humus limerick pita

If You Get Accidentally Locked, In the loo - Would you ‪#‎KnockYourSelfOut‬?

Nikhil Sharda , em Sans Destination
humour accidents puns

Beware of affect adorning vêtement of effect.

Steven Wood Collins , em Puramore: The Lute of Pythagoras
politics puns

There is never a bad time for a pun. There’s also never really a good time for a pun. You might as well just stay braced for a pun at all times, and ride them when they come with as much grace as you can manage.The fact that you can replace ‘pun’ with ‘disaster’ in the last three rules says a lot about the human race.

Terry Pratchett
humanity puns

Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.

Adam Gopnik
humor mind self-awareness wit brain thinking speaking puns

If I send all the books that I faithfully wrote overseas, would that, for any chance, be considered work-shipping??

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ONE HUNDRED ONE WORLD ACCOUNTS in ONE HUNDRED ONE WORD COUNT
work books world publishing puns selling sales writing-books shipping overseas workship

Fuck, Christina.”“Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that.

Nenia Campbell , em Cease and Desist
humor sex funny sexuality wit fucking fuck puns

Mr. Pettifor, I’ve brought you lunch, Sir.” “Leave it on my desk,” he grouses. “It’s your favorite, Sir, a Reuben with au jus,” I say softly.

Ella Dominguez , em Continental Breakfast
food sex puns

A dessert to a deserter in the desert burst, "You trust your thirst. And you are too hot! You scream for ice cream. And believe it or not, I may not be your first. But I might be your lust! Give it a shot...

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ONE HUNDRED ONE WORLD ACCOUNTS in ONE HUNDRED ONE WORD COUNT
humor people funny words book fun poems literature stories desert storytelling tales entertaining events puns ice-cream lines comic odd fast mirage thirsty flash-fiction one-hundred-one survival-story true-accounts true-stories excentric desert-survival poetical word-count

Rules for navigating the net, Or people will roll their eye Lest you can't roll the R rect: Literally, don´t dink and dive!

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ACross Tic
mistakes letter words writing connection search rules jokes web network roll internet puns speech navigate keyboard netiquette acrostic mispronounce world-wide-web net spelling-errors navigating typing rules-of-netiquette skiping

What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you. And I welcome everyone and what do I get? People stepping all over me

Ana Claudia Antunes , em ONE HUNDRED ONE WORLD ACCOUNTS in ONE HUNDRED ONE WORD COUNT
joke funny words urban stories puns door funny-quotes fables welcoming open-doors one-hundred-one word-count literal-meaning mat

People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone.

Ana Claudia Antunes , em The Tao of Physical and Spiritual
childhood paranormal supernatural humorous wordplay autobiography puns super-powers childhood-memories figurative third-eye telepathy x-ray play-on-words pun supervision enlightment raised autobiographical homographic homophonic rethorical x-ray-vision

Goodreads.com is actually about fiction not dreading goo. But I have a profile there, anyway...

Michael A. Arnzen
horror puns twitter-quotes tweet

Jasper set an intercepting course towards that Rhylonian Star Duster. Maybe we can catch them on their blind side.”“Doesn’t this ship have a cloak?” Jaq asks.“Miss Synergy, I don’t know what they teach now a’days at the Academy, but ships do not wear clothes.

Nathan Reese Maher
woman sheep science-fiction horses comedy space-travel witch jokes puns castles laughs fairy spaceship cadet cargo casey-norider cloaking-device eye-rolling jaq-synergy klaus-nomi munchkins space-western

I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.

Marshall Ramsay , em Dreaming is for lovers
dreams humor language dreaming jokes puns nonsense

Let us revenge this withour pikes, ere we become rakes: for the gods know Ispeak this in hunger for bread, not in thirst for revenge.

William Shakespeare , em Coriolanus
shakespeare anger revenge puns empower

An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.

Brian Spellman , em Cartoonist's Book Camp
humor health illness puns paraprosdokian

Jasper!” Casey shouts, startling the young woman. “My cargo is talking to me!

Nathan Reese Maher
woman sheep horses comedy space-travel witch jokes puns castles laughs fairy spaceship cadet cargo casey-norider eye-rolling jaq-synergy klaus-nomi munchkins space-western

She points to where he went and looks to the neutral Baumen. “He—he did that to me on purpose! He’s insane. Literally, insane!”The munchkin just shrugs. “Welcome aboard!” and returns unconcerned to his work.

Nathan Reese Maher , em Rubberband Lazer - Or, the Adventures of Casey Norider and Jaq Synergy
woman sheep horses comedy space-travel witch jokes puns castles laughs fairy spaceship cadet cargo casey-norider eye-rolling jaq-synergy klaus-nomi munchkins space-western

I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.

Brian Spellman
conceit humility arrogance puns paraprosdokian

They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank discussions. And Shirley can join too because the pun works. The ideas of human beings of all demeanor and venues are at stake here.

Leviak B. Kelly , em Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
ideas human-rights puns

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.

Brian Spellman , em Cartoonist's Book Camp
satire puns double-entendre

The first casualty of war is casual wear.

Brian Spellman , em Cartoonist's Book Camp
war fashion satire puns parody lampoon

It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water.

Douglas Adams , em The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
joke water puns

Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.

Matt Dunn , em A Day at the Office
humour fashion puns lol jeans skinny genes

Khione’s eyes flared pure white. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stormed back up the stairs—literally. Halfway up, she turned into a blizzard and disappeared.

Rick Riordan , em The Lost Hero
winter storm puns the-lost-hero

A so-called antimony war had been waged between French [Galenist] physicians and [alchemical, Paracelsian] iatrochemists since the beginning of the seventeenth century. What it lacked in bloodletting, this war made up for in bile.

Philip Ball , em The Devil's Doctor: Paracelsus and the World of Renaissance Magic and Science
medicine doctors puns 2006 paracelsus antimony 17th-century

How are you going to make it move? It doesn't have a – " "Be very quiet," advised the duke, "for it goes without saying."And, sure enough, as soon as they were all quite still, it began to move quickly through the streets, and in a very short time they arrived at the royal palace.

Norton Juster , em The Phantom Tollbooth
wordplay puns speech

Yeah 'ear 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched.

J.K. Rowling , em Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
harry-potter puns ears

Also not the kind of place to hide a server.""Is that another pun?" She asked."No! I swear! I didn't mean that one."~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5

Ridley Pearson
humor bad puns

If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.

Peter Wisan
puns funny-quotes

Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon--You deserve to be taken out of circulation!

Karl Kesel
funny libraries puns librarians one-liners batgirl

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