Your tone of voice is less about what you say and more about how you say it. It enhances or diminishes the language you use, how you construct your sentences, and the way your words sound. It represents the emotional expressions of your thoughts, feelings, and attitude.
Does your tone match your intention? Is your tone of voice confusing or clarifying? Are you coming across to others as you had hoped? Once you begin to notice your tone, you can adjust as needed to make it work in your favor.
Heed Your Speed. Are you a fast or a slow talker? Be mindful towards the person with whom you are speaking to ensure that your message is being comprehended, understood, and absorbed. If they are listening at a slower rate than you are speaking, disconnect can occur.
As a professional speaker, I speak rather quickly with enthusiastic energy and emotion. This doesn’t always sit well with people who like to speak at a slower pace and need more time to process. What I have learned through years in this profession is that to be more effective I must adapt my pace to the comfort level of my audience. When I am speaking to academics, engineers, and doctors, I speak with a slower pace than the one which I use with sales people, customer services teams, or teenagers.
Have you ever paid notice to the full sound range of your voice? If you have ever been in a chorus or a singing group, you already know that they will separate the group based on each singer’s pitch and assign their roles accordingly. While my speaking voice has a soprano pitch, my singing voice is a lower alto.
A high-pitched voice may sound less authoritative, more youthful, and less experienced, whereas, a lower pitched voice may be perceived as being more authoritative, confident, and credible. It is unfortunate that listeners will make assumptions based on these differences before even knowing the depth and value of your message. Play with your ranges and find a comfortably low pitch. Practice it to see if it makes a difference in conveying more authority and brilliance.
Your Signature Sound. In music, voice value is categorized for singers, composers, and listeners. Whether a performer’s voice type is soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, or bass, they all have unique characteristics that make them unique and impressive. You, too, have a signature sound that is uniquely yours and makes you stand apart from the crowd.
Neen James (NeenJames.com) is an eloquent and successful international speaker who stands at four-feet-eleven with a rich Australian dialect and a high-pitched voice. For years, fellow speakers with good intentions told her she needed to take voice lessons to lower her pitch to give her more depth for a compelling stage presence. With complete confidence and loyalty to her uniqueness, she ignored the naysayers and her amazing signature voice has become a powerful brand.
Most people are familiar with the rich, resonant tones of James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman. Their signature voices bring strength, authority, and lyrical enjoyment. Are there aspects of your voice that you can capitalize on to make a great impression and be simply unforgettable?
A Sign of Respect. As our world grows more casual, we observe a tendency for everyone to use first names rather than surnames. “It is a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Young,” has a completely different connotation than “Nice to meet you, Susan.
Using titles such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., etc. demonstrates respect. In previous generations, it was a social necessity and simply good manners. One would consider you rude and uncultured if you were so presumptuous as to go straight to a “first name basis.” First names can imply an intimacy that does not exist and it may offend a new person until they know you better. Be wary of making assumptions.
I was raised in an era when part of respecting your elders was to call them by Mr. or Mrs. When my children were growing up, an occasional child would call me Susan. It was jarring, felt disrespectful, and I did not like it. We reached a mutual agreement and their friends began calling me Ms. Susan. Perhaps this is more prevalent in the South, however, your awareness and consideration can help prevent social missteps.
It is wise to use titles for people in positions of power, higher education, seniority, or maturity, unless otherwise instructed. This may sound old-fashioned, but practicing respectful traditions will earn you points and inevitably make you seem more cultured and sophisticated. This is especially true with older generations.
To call certain people, such as your boss, teachers, professors, doctors, your parent’s friends, etc. by their first names might be considered disrespectful. It is best to err on the side of caution until you know what is appropriate.
Asking permission to call someone by their first name is a gesture of gentility and consideration. And once permission is granted, the gate is open for mutual respect and mutual purpose. Simply demonstrating this courtesy before making an assumption is impressive. Once permission is granted, you have earned points on both sides.
Make It Fun. Have you ever been publicly acknowledged or called upon in a room filled with people? Depending on your personality type, it can be either exhilarating or mortifying. It certainly does grab your attention, as well as everyone else’s!
When I am working with groups of thirty or fewer people, there is a powerful name exercise that I do to break the ice, start with humor, and begin my program with positive energy. One by one, each person will introduce themselves using an adjective that describes their personality that starts with the first letter of their name. “Spontaneous Susan,” “Dependable Dave,” and “Happy Helen” are a few quick examples. The benefit for the participants is twofold: it makes each person feel good and it makes people laugh. Additionally, it enables me to learn their names so that I can integrate them into the entire presentation for full engagement and participation.
Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.
The way you deliver the words you say becomes your “vocal image. This "vocal image" can make or break your first impressions, impact your communication, and determine how people respond to you.
Every professional voice coach worth their salt will bring you back to the importance of tone, pace, and pitch. While these concepts were introduced earlier in The Art of Body Language section, we can now elaborate and take a deeper dive into how you can use your voice to improve your communications.