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He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.""I'm only a kid!" I shrieked. "I can't get married!""You could in New Hampshire."

James Patterson , em Max
love marriage relationships humor angel fang max maxride

You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much.

James Patterson , em Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
love humor love-struck fang max maxride

What happened to your tan?"--Fang"It was dirt." --Max

James Patterson , em The Final Warning
humor maxride

That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.You're kidding, right? PLEASE tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't FAIR, Dean....Nothing is fair, EVER. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because FAIR IS FAIR? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I MIGHT respond to that. MAYBE.

James Patterson , em School's Out—Forever
humor maxride

Q: You'er presented with a smooth-faced, eight-foot-high wooden wall. Your objective? Get over it. To, like, save comrades or something. How to accomplish this?A: Take a running start, brace one foot against the wall, throw one hand to the top, try to hang on long enough for a comrade to either grab your hand at the top or for another comrade to push your butt up from below. It takes team work! over it.

James Patterson , em Max
humor maxride flying

Well, that's an evil smile...

James Patterson , em The Angel Experiment
humor evil smile maxride

I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless)Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church."Max: (muttering) "Appropriately enough."Iggy: "What about me?" (stands still)Max: "No, you're visible."Iggy: "Am not!"Max: (throws a pinecone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you?

James Patterson , em The Final Warning
humor fang max maxride nudge gazzy iggy invisibility

I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge

James Patterson , em The Angel Experiment
humor maxride nudge

So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof.

James Patterson , em Fang
humor maxride

Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive.

James Patterson , em Angel
humor angel max maxride maximum-ride euphemisms

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

James Patterson , em Angel
humor angel max maxride maximum-ride

I stood my ground. "You evil scientist are all the same--evil. Count me out."Fang and I brushed past Mr. God and walked quickly but smoothly to the exit. It was barely noon, and I'd already made a huge enemy.Dang, I'm good.

James Patterson , em Fang
humor fang maxride maximum-ride

Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand?

James Patterson , em Angel
humor angel maxride star ratchet

He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.""I'm only a kid!" I shrieked. "I can't get married!""You could in New Hamps

James Patterson , em Max
love marriage relationships humor angel fang max maxride

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