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It was going to be our job to annoy someone?” “I know—it’s a dream come true!

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny dream hazel job chess middle-grade annoy joel-ross lost-compass

After an hour the score was: Quancita—34 Radiz—51 Sally—froglegs Perla—9 a

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny game chess nonsense middle-grade joel-ross lost-compass

Are you okay?” “Yeah.” “Good,” she said, “because if you fall off a skyscraper, I’ll be so mad at you.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny okay skyscraper middle-grade joel-ross lost-compass

Are you . . . lost?” “Not really,” she told him. “We just don’t know where we’re going.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny lost not middle-grade joel-ross

What are you doing?” I asked Loretta. “Stabbing a cushion,” she told me.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny what middle-grade joel-ross lost-compass cushion stabbing

Keep moving!” “Bea’s arguing with the floor.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny arguing middle-grade joel-ross lost-compass bea

We’re alive!” Swedish told her. “I did not see that coming.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny alive swedish joel-ross lost-compass

Did Cap’n Vidious leave that? He is such a cuddlebunny.” “Yeah,” I said, “that’s exactly how I’d describe him.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny chess joel-ross bea cap-n-vidious cuddlebunny

You know what to do?” “Wander around,” I said. “Until I spot a self-assembled whangdoodle from the Foggy depths.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny hazel chess joel-ross lost-compass whangdoodle

Did you just call me ‘sweetie’?” I asked. She shoved my shoulder. “No.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny hazel chess no joel-ross lost-compass

Well, the bad news,” Swedish said from the wheel, “is that Chess still thinks he’s funny.” “What’s the good news?” Loretta asked, leaning on our little copper-tubed harpoon. “That Kodoc dropped a bomb on the city?

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny chess bomb swedish joel-ross lost-compass loretta

Now you’re listening to Swedish ?” I asked her. “He thinks I’m the Compass because every time I see ticktocks, I happen to be there!

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny chess swedish joel-ross lost-compass ticktocks

If Chess is the switch,” Loretta said, “how does he turn the Fog off?” Bea bit her lower lip. “I don’t know—ask Chess.” “How would I know?” I said. “You try being a switch.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny chess fog joel-ross lost-compass bea loretta switch

Loretta started belting out a song: “Row, row, row your boat, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G !

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
funny joel-ross lost-compass loretta k-i-s-s-i-n-g

...Loretta threatened to beat him to death with a wooden spoon...

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
death funny joel-ross lost-compass loretta

Uh, she said maybe your eyes matched the Fog like a synchronous magnetic field?” “I don’t even know what language that is.

Joel N. Ross , em The Lost Compass
language hazel chess middle-grade field magnetic joel-ross lost-compass synchronous

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