In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Stay away from people who don't know who they are but want you to be just like them. People who'll want to label you. People who'll try to write their fears on your face.

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

I believe all people are assholes. You won't find anyone that you like. You'll just find someone you dislike a little less than the last asshole. And I can't wait for that day. To have a woman that I can say I dislike a little less than all the other assholes.

I'd been at the mercy of a prick on a power trip, the kind of buttoned-up bantam rooster who gets off on control and then, when you resist him, tells you that you've got issues with control.

Ladies, don't lower yourself to fight over a man or compete with other women for one. It's not classy, immature, and a waste of time. Instead, use that energy and time wisely by achieving goals and being a better you. This way, you attract someone better than a man that doesn't see the jewel that you are. Have standards always.

Women who say that they have met the most amazing guy in the world are only saying that because they haven’t lived with them yet.

Warren Cox, God knew, was no prize; a commercial person, a sales person, the kind of man who said things like "x numbers of dollars". At lunch today, laboriously trying to explain some business procedure, he had said "x number of dollars" three times.

So you were talking crap about me? Hm. I missed it. I was too busy being fabulous.

But, I've learned, as we all must, that adults are jerks too. At least some of them. And that's why I feel so strongly that if you have the opportunity to surround yourself with people who aren't jerks, you should not just take it, but grab it, seize it, squeeze the living hell out of it.

It is my sincere desire that my research and hard work will help create a world where we all learn to walk this Earth, safe, enlightened and free from the perils of cruelty, ignorance, and all the other dark and sinister forces, which make assholes possible.

Jerks aren't heartbreakers there just fools with good taste.

There's a difference between playing it cool and being a jerk.

But, really, are there any guys out there who aren’t jerks? I don’t even know any grown-up men who aren’t jerks.

If a man tells you he's an asshole & that you deserve better, believe him...it's a warning. It's best you listen before he proves it to you.

Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?

Don't try fixing something that is already broken in the first place.

Girls can be so petty and jealous. I swear they're worse than guys sometimes. Except they're all quiet about it. They sugarcoat it or else they talk behind each other's backs. It's seriously twisted.

Don't try fixing something that is already broken to begin with.

If you want to call it quits, just tell me. Man up and say it to my face. Don’t just skulk around.