It will get easier each time, I think. I hope. I just have to keep trying.

I wonder, though... what would it be like? To be that close to a boy and have him see all of you, no holding back. Would it be scary only for a second or two, or would it be scary the whole time? What if I didn't like it at all? Or what if I liked it too much? It's a lot to think about.

When you lose someone and it hurts, that's when you know the love was real.

But you never said anything! Not one frigging word, Lara Jean!”Automatically I say, “Don’t say ‘frig.’ ”“Not one frigging word,” Kitty repeats with a shake of her head.Peter cracks up, and I give him a dirty look. “It all happened really fast,” he offers. “There was barely time to tell anybody—”“Was I talking to you?” Kitty snaps. “No, I don’t think so. I was talking to my sister.”Peter’s eyes widen, and I can see him trying to keep a straight face.

But what now? What am I supposed to do with all these feelings?

For a minute there it was really good. It was really, really good. Wasn't it good? Maybe really, really good things aren't meant to last for too long; maybe that's what makes them all the more sweet, the temporariness of them.

I think that time might be different for young people. The minutes longer, stronger, more vibrant.

It could have happened lots of ways. But this is the way it happened. This is the path we took. This is our story.

Just when we thought everything was going to be okay, we all fell apart.

I stared at him. Did he really just say that? Did he remember? The way he looked back at me, one eyebrow raised, I knew he did. And this time, I was the one to look away. Because I remembered. I remembered everything.

Let's do it fucking for real, Lara Jean. Let's go all in. No more contract. No more safety net. You can break my heart. Do whatever you want with it.

Sometimes it’s like people are a million times more beautiful to you in your mind. It’s like you see them through a special lens — but maybe if it’s how you see them,that’s how they really are.