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Two wrongs don't make a right, but don't three lefts make a right? Two wrongs don't make a right, but don't two negatives make a positive?

Andrew Clements , em Things Not Seen
life inspirational wisdom beautiful paradox andrew clements ironic oxemoron

And a beautiful world we live in, when it is possible, and when many other such things are possible, and not only possible, but done-- done, see you!-- under that sky there, every day.

Charles Dickens , em A Tale of Two Cities
inspirational dark ironic angry defarge

What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.

Charles Bukowski , em Hot Water Music
humor sex funny writing advice writers bukowski sarcasm irony authors alcohol drink ironic writing-process cigarettes smoke

Cam's wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. "Holy Hell," Callie whispered, blinking."More or less," Arriane said

Lauren Kate , em Torment
humor fallen-angels sarcasm ironic fallen arrianne

The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence.

Amit Kalantri , em Wealth of Words
inspirational philosophy wisdom inspiration people inspirational-quotes motivation human motivational humans anger motivational-quotes wisdom-quotes irony danger ironic angry dangerous incompetence ironical peoples

It was the essence of life to disbelieve in death for one's self, to act as if life would continue forever. And life had to act also as if little issues were big ones. To take a realistic attitude toward life and death meant that one lapsed into unreality. Into insanity. It was ironic that the only way to keep one's sanity was to ignore that one was in an insane world or to act as if the world were sane.

Philip José Farmer
life death insanity sanity ironic sane

Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
humor food profound deep humour insightful paradox hungry thought-provoking quote irony quotes starvation diet satire thoughtful satirical ironic puzzle proverb sayings aphorism epigram quotations fat hunger obesity maxims adage proverbs axiom maxim saying famine adages aphorisms axioms dictum dictums epigrams gnome gnomes made-me-think make-you-think provoke-thought quotation starve obese overweight underweight basic-necessities food-shortage malnutrition nutrients paradoxical puzzling

They would sweep their poverty under the carpet if only they had one.

Ljupka Cvetanova , em The New Land
life poverty poor irony quotes ironic aphorisms carpet sweep sweep-under-the-carpet

sometimes when everything seems atits worstwhen all conspiresand gnawsand the hours, days, weeksyearsseem wasted – stretched there upon my bedin the darklooking upward at the ceilingi get what many will consider anobnoxious thought:it’s still nice to beBukowski.

Charles Bukowski , em You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense
poetry poem funny ego bukowski irony ironic obnoxious

Pure wisdom is the 'fruit of life' banal platitudes are the 'bane of existence'.

Criss Jami , em Healology
life truth knowledge wisdom facts humor intelligence funny existence morality pop pop-culture popular-culture quotes experience originality ironic lesson dullness unique sayings clever contradictory quotations cliché witty funny-but-true fruit ripe pure aphorisms paradoxical platitudes banal bane overused trite unoriginality

I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are.

William Faulkner
funny ironic harsh

Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked..."Go ahead," Newt replied.Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,' he said dryly. 'Don't die.'Thomas would have laughed if he could, but he was too scared for it to come out.'Great. We're all bloody inspired,' Newt answered.

James Dashner , em The Maze Runner
funny irony ironic clever witty hilarious comical

If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.

Seanan McGuire , em Rosemary and Rue
books funny ironic seanan-mcguire rosemary-and-rue

-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful."-"It was stupid.

Lloyd Alexander , em Westmark
humor funny humorous comedy satire ironic witty comebacks sharp comical

And it's really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

Susan Kay , em Phantom
humor funny irony comeback satire ironic witty sharp

I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

Demetri Martin
humor funny comedian fly comedy ironic demetri-martin roommates

We were talking about the prince,' Sansa said, her voice soft as a kiss.Arya knew which prince she meant: Joffrey, of course. The tall, handsome one. Sansa got to sit with him at the feast. Arya had to sit with the little fat one. Naturally.

George R.R. Martin , em A Game of Thrones
funny prince ironic arya a-song-of-ice-and-fire george-r-r-martin feast a-game-of-thrones joffrey sansa winterfell

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

Terry Pratchett , em Maskerade
humor funny irony humorous ironic

A new baby! Why, Scarlett, this is a surprise!” he laughed, leaning down to push the blanket away from Ella Lorena's small ugly face." - Rhett Butler

Margaret Mitchell , em Gone with the Wind
funny ironic

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

Terry Pratchett , em Maskerade
humor funny irony ironic humorous-quotations

...it’s just another one of those things I don’t understand: everyone impresses upon you how unique you are, encouraging you to cultivate your individuality while at the same time trying to squish you and everyone else into the same ridiculous mould. It’s an artist’s right to rebel against the world’s stupidity.

E.A. Bucchianeri , em Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
inspirational individuality humor art funny be-yourself uniqueness catholic-author rebel irony rebellion encouragement artists ironic creative-process stupidity humor-inspirational stupidity-of-man gadfly rebels irony-of-life

(About sweeping)....What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

Terry Pratchett , em Maskerade
funny irony humorous ironic laughable

I gather you weren't keen on going back to Scotland with your brother at this time of year. I don't say I blame you. Terribly bleak and cutoff in the winter.""Oh no, Mom," I said, as her words sunk in. "My brother is not going back to Scotland. He and my sister-in-law are going to the Riviera."The Riviera? I had no idea.""For my sister-in-law's health. She's feeling rather frail at the moment.""I don't think that frail would ever be a word to describe your sister-in-law," the Queen said, looking up with a half smile on her lips as a tray of coffee was reeled into the room."I managed to have six children without making a fuss. One just got on with it.

Rhys Bowen , em Naughty in Nice
funny interesting ironic raw

Before I only wanted to change the world. I still want that, but it was ironic how I never wanted to change myself. Yet that's where revolutions start! And it's the only way revolutions can continue, if we keep looking inward, looking at how others might see us. That's what happened when I met Sofia. I saw myself the way she saw me.

Viet Thanh Nguyen , em The Sympathizer
change revolution perception ironic change-your-life change-the-world revolutions looking-in

There is this common notion that young conservatives are the few, that most people had liberal worldviews when they were young. If this is true, then it is with great irony that a number of old liberals must never had progressed into conservatives as they grew older.

Criss Jami
humor growth change funny psychology age young perspective beliefs perception immaturity maturity old new stubbornness politics opinion ironic funny-but-true liberalism change-your-life conservatism progression stagnation

He stirred my soul in the most subtle way and the story between us wrote itself.

Nikki Rowe
fate soul destiny deep soulmate love-story bond soul-connection depth ironic red-thread meant-to-be twin-soul

No one plows the field just by thinking about it.

Ljupka Cvetanova , em The New Land
work sarcasm quote irony thinking think ironic aphorism ironical think-big sarcastic-humor working-hard field think-different fieldwork plow plowing

If you want to know how negative you are, pay attention to how much you hate negativity in other people. Fragile, artificial positivity needs always to be surrounded by more positivity in order to stay positive, but the ability to be positive, happy, and even, at times, appreciative around 'negative people' is the mark of real positivity.

Criss Jami
love peace happiness faith sadness hope pride pain joy compassion empathy caring emotions attraction positive positive-thinking psychology unconditional-love confidence appreciation sympathy attitude hypocrisy pity opposites fake real discernment security insecurity negative judging peace-of-mind ironic fragile criticism open-minded toxic-people toxic artificial constructive-criticism emotions-and-attitude opposites-attract magnets close-minded faith-hope

There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk.

Tom Waits
music ironic

The more power you have, the less you can truly say. That’s the irony.

Michael Soll , em Scorched
power powerful ironic freedom-of-speech michael-soll scorched

This world made by humans for themselves is most unfriendly towards humans. What irony.

Pooja Perumal , em Tap, Tap, Tap 'Til Halloween Comes
humans world self-destruction ironic

I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?

Ryan Lilly , em Write like no one is reading
humour funny weeds quote irony humorous quotes gravestone ironic funny-quotes grave quotable quotable-quote funny-quote thistles lawns death-humor lawn quotables thistle

Fiction described reality better than non-fiction.

Tommy Wallach , em We All Looked Up
reality relatable ironic

Dream big!But not so big that it becomes a mess, and you may never reach reality.

Hasil Paudyal
life truth reality sad dream mess irony fail quotes ironic dream-big suggestion irony-of-life

I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.

Amit Kalantri
inspirational knowledge philosophy wisdom inspiration inspirational-quotes books reading funny motivation human money motivational book fun humans gold wit motivational-quotes wisdom-quotes noble irony problems experience cars ironic material reading-books library witty funny-quotes contracts amit-kalantri amit-kalantri-quotes hobby witty-quotes solutions resume valuable hobbies diamond paper book-reading library-books cv hobby-of-reading curriculum-vitae noblest

We were young, she continued, while she had a bad heart. Did we not want to earn our tips, she asked us and, cowed, we refrained from introducing the subject again.Her bad heart, I noticed, did not force her to abstain from smoking, or from eating large portions of puddings. Every time I heard her opening how she could not carry anything heavy, I thought sourly "except yourself".

Toni Maguire , em Don't Tell Mummy: A True Story of the Ultimate Betrayal
children humour health child hypocrisy irony ironic hypocrite smoking

They thought more before nine a.m. than most people thought all month. I remember once declining cherry pie at dinner, and Rand cocked his head and said, 'Ahh! Iconoclast. Disdains the easy, symbolic patriotism.' And when I tried to laugh it off and said, well, I didn't like cherry cobbler either, Marybeth touched Rand's arm: 'Because of the divorce. All those comfort foods, the desserts a family eats together, those are just bad memories for Nick.' It was silly but incredibly sweet, these people spending so much energy trying to figure me out. The answer: I don't like cherries.

Gillian Flynn , em Gone Girl
logic thoughts funny childhood psychology divorce memories simplicity irony over-thinking ironic patriotism symbolism childhood-memories psychologist the-mind broken-home bad-memories cherry-pie iconoclast

It takes strength to become weak!

Evinda Lepins
strength change transformation recovery ironic recovery-inspiration ironic-quotes

The irony of life is a twisted game; but my god you learn fast, the ins and outs of how to play your part the best you can.

Nikki Rowe
life philosophy destiny life-lessons life-quotes awakening insight enlightenment irony mindful ironic guidance courage-fate

The irony of sensory deprivation tanks is that in order to think outside the box, you must first go inside one.

Ryan Lilly
box relaxation creativity irony weird senses water creative ironic relax outside-the-box floating sensory-deprivation float lilly sensory sensory-deprivation-tank sensory-deprivation-tanks creativeness coming-up-with-ideas john-c-lilly john-c-lilly-tank john-lilly

I always found it so ironic, how the people from the past would do anything to see what happened everywhere else in the world that they lost so much of their own life watching this little screen.

Silje Jensen
sad future ironic cellphone

The best advice anyone has ever given me, was to never take advice from anyone.

J.R. Rim , em Write like no one is reading 2
words advice quotes ironic random

Isn't it ironic that a nightmare can masquerade as a dream?

Ken Poirot
life life-and-living life-lessons life-quotes life-lesson dream life-experience life-experiences ironic nightmare dream-quotes life-quote life-lesson-quote life-lessons-quotes author-ken-poirot ken-poirot ken-poirot-quote ken-poirot-quotes life-lesson-quotes life-lessons-quote dream-quote masquerade isn-t-it life-experience-quote life-experience-quotes life-experiences-quote life-experiences-quotes nightmare-quotes isn-t ironic-quotes ironic-quote isn-t-it-quote isn-t-it-quotes isn-t-quote isn-t-quotes masquerade-quote masquerade-quotes nightmare-quote

Ive learnt the most about myself through the people and places i no longer visit, such an ironic exprience.The greatest lessons are from those we give the keys of our hearts to & trust all too easily; realising later on, they are just apart of this grande' story and not everyone gets to make it to the end chapter & happy ever after.

Nikki Rowe
love heartbreak life-lessons growth let-go friendship-quotes story heal journey experience painful ironic awaken life-story growth-process painful-past soiritual life-s-experiences

It is not enough that your designs, nay that your actions, are intrinsically good, you must take care they shall appear so.

Henry Fielding , em The History of Tom Jones, a Foundling
wise-words ironic good-intentions

Never ask an elf for help; they might decide your better off dead, eh?

Christopher Paolini , em Eldest
humor advice ironic random orik page-207

Your advice seems a little ironical.""Oh, you may either follow it or reverse it—that is its chief beauty. It is equally good taken either way.

Thomas Henry Lister
humor advice ironic ironical

Life is about more that quotes about life

John Chaplin
life inspirational philosophy religion funny humorous ironic religious

There are few things more discomfiting than a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency from someone you’re determined to dislike for no good reason.

Gregory David Roberts
true humorous ironic true-to-life hilarious human-judgement

I don't use big words to show off because it's ostentatious.

Don Roff
funny humorous ironic witty show-off pretentious ostentatious

Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for.

E.A. Bucchianeri , em Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
humor freedom funny sad-but-true dinner democracy humorous rights ironic freedom-of-speech gadfly political-correctness ettiquette table-manners dinners being-polite dinner-conversation

Fate has a twisted sense of humor.

Amelia Atwater-Rhodes , em Midnight Predator
humor fate ironic

After torturing our adrenaline by watching a horror movie for a couple of hours the places we are most afraid of are the doors and windows of the room even though they are the only ways for us to escape in case of occurrence such an event.

Sanhita Baruah
life fear dead dark movies scary doors afraid ghosts ironic horror scared windows event

Further to this, Ove has the cat's resentful stares to contend with. Something in its eyes reminds him of the way Sonja used to look at him.

Fredrik Backman
sad ironic

It is quite ironic that those calling the loudest for 'morality' are typically the most immoral of all.

Christina Engela , em Demonspawn
morality ironic loudest immoral typically

The bible is so simple you have to have someone else help you misunderstand it..

Harmon Okinyo
bible religion irony ironic religious quotes-to-live-by religious-faith bible-quotes koran misunderstanding quotes-of-life bible-verse religion-christianity religion-spirituality religious-quote bible-knowledge bible-study religion-and-philoshophy bible-interpretation irony-of-life bible-stories qoutes-on-writing harmon-okinyo bible-reading bible-and-sex bible-koran bible-homosexuality bible-code bible-as-literature bible-christianity bible-chronology bible-college bible-contradictions bible-devil bible-errors bible-genocide bible-thumpers

You know something is wrong when the government declares opening someone else’s mail is a felony but your internet activity is fair game for data collecting.

E.A. Bucchianeri
sad-but-true control irony privacy ironic government internet crime gadfly data conspiracies mail spying government-programs data-mining data-collecting felonies internet-privacy

He’s always complaining about the fucking recession and how the government is working against people like him. He calls himself working class, which I think is a bit ironic since he doesn’t work.

Ida Løkås , em Det fine som flyter forbi
work complaining ironic government working-class recession

It is odd that the Bible says, ‘God created man,’ whereas it is the other way round: man has created God. It is odd that the Bible says, ‘The body is mortal, the soul is immortal,’ whereas even here the contrary is true: the body (its matter) is eternal; the soul (the form of the body) is transitory.

Béla Bartók
immortality eternity paradox atheism irony mortality ironic eternal matter origin atheist transitory

It seems ironic, expecting the unexpected, like she had fabricated pieces of her story to make it more interesting. Considering my boredom with the current version, I can't imagine the first draft.

Kayla Krantz , em The Council
story boredom ironic unexpected expecting

Life is ironic. Some people use their terrible childhood as an excuse of their unfortunate rest of the life… while others create a masterpiece out of their terrible childhood, they create a story loved by the entire world.

Nino Varsimashvili
life childhood world story masterpiece excuse ironic terrible-childhood

For other people, I can't speak - but, personally, I haven't gotten wise on anything. Certainly, I've been through this and that; and when it happens again, I say to myself, Here it is again. But that doesn't seem to help me. In my opinion, I, personally, have gotten steadily sillier and sillier - and that's a fact.

Christopher Isherwood , em A Single Man
philosophical ironic

He was one of the most supremely stupid men I have ever met. He taught me a great deal.

John Fowles , em The Magus
irony ironic

You know? Ain’t it ironic how we live our entire lives without the luxury of time, only to spend an eternity in death.

Jason Medina , em A Ghost In New Orleans
life death eternity irony afterlife luxury ironic life-and-death a-ghost-in-new-orleans jason-medina tribal-publications-inc live-our-lives luxuries rini tribal-p

Diamond is the hardest substance, but the Irony, it is also brittle.

Pushkar Saraf
irony quotes ironic diamond

How ironic it would be, to die at his hands while trying to save him, when he first came to me because he was trying to save me.

Beth Revis , em The Body Electric
dying ironic saving controlled ella-shepard

It is ironic that the only thing separating 'friend' from 'fiend' - is a single letter.

Christina Engela , em The Time Saving Agency
friend letter separating ironic fiend

I didn’t know if his art was helping. But Moses’s pictures were like that, glorious and terrible. Glorious because they brought memory to life, terrible for the same reason. Time softens memories, sanding down the rough edges of death. But Moses’s pictures dripped with life and reminded us of our loss.

Amy Harmon , em The Law of Moses
truth death art talent ironic raw

Don't fucking quote me!

Roni Batti Kajou
inspirational humor funny fun ironic random mad agitated

The whole universe is like some big FedEx box.

Haruki Murakami , em Kafka on the Shore
life philosophy simile metaphor funny ironic

Interest makes some people blind and others quick-sighted.

Francis Beaumont
insightful observation ironic conclusion

He had not the makings of that honest man to whom success comes naturally.

James Jones , em From Here to Eternity
ironic witty

Hyperbolic statements will be the death of us all

William McGregor Robson
funny wit ironic

I'm not some character from a boys' manga." ~Yukio

Kazue Kato , em Blue Exorcist, Vol. 9
boys manga ironic lol

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