How initially 'to get her in the sack' and subsequently to avoid 'her giving you the sack' are not identical dilemmas faced by the male species, but they sure have a bizarre habit of being bedfellows

Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

I call her Google because she got everything I have been searching for.

I call her Google, Because she got everything I'm searching for

Love is relentless, and so am I ;)

Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.

Life is difficult and those who make us laugh are angels.

There are a number of rules that should be observed when one meets royalty, ranging from what one can say and when, to where one should stand, when one can sit, even where one should look. Sindy bobbed a nervous curtsy and, before being introduced, blurted out an invitation to come inside whilst looking John directly in the eye.

Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.

I m not funny, really m not !!! I just tell people the truth, and then they start laughing and say haha you are funny...but seriously m not!!!

Lipstick?" He arched a brow."I'm on the hunt for my perfect shade," I respond, de

Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out.

I think therefore I am not sure.

You know, my poor grandmother once told me that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Life has taught me that it’s actually a few inches lower.

I love you silly 'holy' book. Here's hoping everybody un-reads it.

The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.

I was never sure what possessed Guy and Teo, 2 alien princelings to land in Paris that day.

What a glorious day!

An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up.

The codfish lays ten thousand eggs.The homely hen lays one.Codfish never cackles to tell you what she has done.And so we scorn the codfish,while the humble hen we prize,which only goes to show you that it pays to advertise!

Don't worry, everyone is mentally ill, they just haven’t figured out a name for yours yet.

I have to tell you the truth. But you are too ugly for it.

Even Dionysus's welcome-home speech wasn't enough to dampen my spirits. "Yes, yes, so the little brat didn't get himself killed and now he'll have an even bigger head. Well, huzzah for that. In other announcements, there will be no canoe races this Saturday....

being funny is actually all about thinking "what if ?" in a creative way.

Hey, religious nuts! Please do not grow up. Just go up!

Contrary to popular belief, people always say "It was a pleasure doing business with you". It is the only thing that has stayed with me after an assignment. Always mix business with pleasure. That is a secret they don't want you to know. BUT never mix pleasure with business. Then you might just end up in a divorce.