How initially 'to get her in the sack' and subsequently to avoid 'her giving you the sack' are not identical dilemmas faced by the male species, but they sure have a bizarre habit of being bedfellows

I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

All humans are rogues. Cured only by death.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.

Don't, but if at all, then, lie to the whole damn world - never to your own damn, silly stupid self.

My imaginary pal up there, Mr. NOT, tells me it's my dog-damn ism to kick your illusory he-man's ass. Now, what do you say to that?

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are.

I wish you all the best in life. Hell, I will even write your obituary for free.

I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.

On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.

Humans, left to own misguided devices, scratches the Divine in the self as one would the lice, but remember to lick well all the vices.

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

There is no human-like god. If there were, he'd be as silly as you.

If a religious book makes you harbor ill thoughts about those with differing faith, then, you're reading the wrong crap of late.

What a glorious day!

Frankly, the only good people who I know are dogs.

An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up.

Oh sod me, Sir, not another bloody Paddy. Even a Brummie is better than another Paddy.

After your daily bread, if you ask God for anything, ask 'him' to make you right in the head.

I swear I've good morals. It's just that bad ones befriend me. I'm a friendly person, you know. But I will talk to them. Believe you me.

I nurture very good intentions about you. May you die in peace.

I shall tell you about God once you've reached your imaginary heaven. Then, give me a call.

You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.

People will laugh at anything, except their own moronic self.

I love you all - if you are not people!

So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.

Please believe me. I've nothing against you personally. It's just that I laugh at all jokes.

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.

Whenever I wish to pay my respect to you, my middle finger says, it must first.

I wish you well - if you will die. May you rest in peace.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.