Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
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The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.
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Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.
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Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.
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You never know what you will find in your pants!
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If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
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