How initially 'to get her in the sack' and subsequently to avoid 'her giving you the sack' are not identical dilemmas faced by the male species, but they sure have a bizarre habit of being bedfellows

If I have one piece of advice to give you all about what to search for in your quest for What Next, it's to find where the line blurs between hard work and happiness for you. To find that thing where working hard at it makes you happy, and where you're happy to work hard at it.

I've never had a moment when I thought: "Tom, you've made it!", and I don't think I want to, because that feels like you've reached the end; that you've crossed the finish line. But to me there is no end. An achievement is not a finish line; it's a checkpoint on a far greater journey. It's a moment to pause, to take a breath and look back and enjoy what you've experienced and be grateful for it, but then to turn around and look towards the next checkpoint, the next achievement.

This is the secret of happiness that you have been looking for:If you are moving in the direction of your identified desires, you're happy in this moment.If you're moving in opposition to your identified desires, you are unhappy in this moment.

Forgiving yourself, believing in yourself and choosing to love yourself are the best gifts one could receive.

But, I've learned, as we all must, that adults are jerks too. At least some of them. And that's why I feel so strongly that if you have the opportunity to surround yourself with people who aren't jerks, you should not just take it, but grab it, seize it, squeeze the living hell out of it.

Sometimes being happy willrequire some difficult conversations.Some of those conversationswill be with yourself.

If someone tries to undermineyour commitment, re-evaluateyour commitment to them.

Identify your driving motivationand you will have all theencouragement you need.

To be happy, you need to dothe right thing for you,even when it feels like thehardest thing in the world.

Live your life with courageousintegrity. Do the right thing,not the easy thing.

There is a big difference betweenbeing self-ist and being selfish—putting yourself first doesn’t meanyou have to put everyone else last.

The most importantcommitment you will ever makeis to being the best you can be.

Being the best you can betakes courage. You need to ownyour decisions and have thecourage to see them through.

It’s easy to be brave wheneverything is going your way.When the going gets tough,it takes courage to followthe path you believe in.

Be honest with yourself.You can’t be the bestyou can be unless you knowwho you really are.

Unless you have thecourage to say ‘no’ tothe things you don’t want,it’s hard to say ‘yes’ tothe things that you do want.

Don’t rely on the opinions of others.Only you will know what isright for you.

Be courageous in yourdecision-making.Stand by your choicesand never look back.

Very few changes in life areachieved without effort and acommitment to making that effort.

The only person who cantake responsibility for yourhappiness is you.

When you decide to be the bestyou can be, don’t be surprisedif the circle of people youwant to spend your time withbecomes smaller.

Most people are fine with fineand okay with okay.If you want to be the best youcan be, make sure you’re not.

Don’t take your happiness forgranted. Be proactive aboutmaintaining and sustaining itin your life.

Commit to being happy andmake the choices that willsupport your commitment.

Although happiness is a stateof being, it usually still requiressome doing if it is to belasting in your life.

Recognise how muchyou have to give.

Give the people you love thebest of yourself, not the worst.

Sometimes you have to risk orgive up some of your financialwealth to have a richer life.

Every time you say ‘but’, you aregiving yourself a get-out clause.

When you understandthe difference betweenwant and need, you willfinally realise howrich your life really is.

There is nothing wrongwith enjoying life’s luxuriesas long as your happinessisn’t contingent on them.

Challenge your assumptionsand identify your limiting beliefs.Every time you find yourself thinkingthat you can’t do something,ask yourself, ‘Why not?

So many people sabotagetheir own chances for happiness—don’t be one of them.

It is only when your actionsand words are aligned that youcan achieve your true potential.

There is nothing wrong withwanting more. There is no reasonwhy you shouldn’t get everythingyou want from life.

There is nothing wrong withdeciding that you don’t wantsomething, but if you do want it,go out and get it!

Just because there is an obstaclein your path, that doesn’t meanyou have to get off the road.

Worrying about money isone of the biggest causes ofunhappiness, but no amountof money can make you happyunless you change theway you feel about it.

Just because there are thingsyou still want, that doesn’t meanyou can’t feel gratitude for all thewealth and abundancealready in your life.

Having a poverty mentalityleaves you focusing on all thethings you don’t have, when inreality you probably already haveeverything you need.

You have to give yourselfpermission to be happy.Nobody else can give it to you.

Being happyis not a privilege—it is somethingeveryone deserves.

Most of the things youfind yourself wantingwill have little or no bearingon the happiness in your life.

Find a way to express yourgratitude for the wealthand abundance in your life.

Focusing on scarcitywill only create moreof the same.

One of the most powerfulquestions you can ask yourself is,‘How do I hold myself back?’Once you know the answeryou can get out of your way.

The only way to get anunderstanding of the true wealthin your life is to acknowledge all thethings you have to be grateful for.

Being generous is not just aboutthe decisions you make withyour wallet. Being generouswith your time and energyis just as important.

If you are generous in yourrelationships you will receiveas much as you give.

Everyone has a differentjourney in life. Don’t judgesomeone else for theirs.

Before passing judgementon someone’s choices,stop and look at the questionsthey were trying to answer.

Most people are doing their best,most of the time.

If you want to bethe best you can be,don’t judge anyone.Not even yourself.

Remember to afford yourselfthe same generosityyou give to others.

Be generous with yourtime and energy. The harderit is to give, the morethe other person deserves it.

If you believe in yourself,anything and everything is possible.

The only thing you have totalcontrol over is who you choose to be.Be the best you can be.

Accept the past,dream of the future,but live in the moment.

Learning from the past can helpyou move forward. Lingering inthe past will only hold you back.

Nobody from your past should beheld responsible for your future.The only person accountable foryour future is you.

Look for the joy in each andevery day. Just because it isn’timmediately obvious, that doesn’tmean it’s not there.

It’s hard to be present whenyour attention is sufferinginformation overload.Switch off and just sit still.

Be there when you are there.Don’t try to juggle all the roles inyour life. Focus on the role you areplaying and do it to the bestof your ability.

Multi-tasking is stressful.You will get things donemuch faster if you do themone at a time.

Having a vision is great,but don’t be so focused onyour next goal that you forgetto enjoy your achievements.

Nobody’s life is perfect.Rather than wishingfor things you don’t have,make the most of thethings you do have.

It’s okay to aspire to a better life,but don’t let it stop you fromenjoying the life you already have.

Your expectations determineyour experience.Expect the best from lifeand you will usually get it.

Worrying doesn’t change anything.Focus your energy on the outcomeyou do want and then do whatyou can to make it happen.

Most of the things that go wrongin life don’t have a lasting impact.Remind yourself that if it won’tmatter in ten years’ time,it doesn’t matter today.

See the world as beingfilled with positive potential.Focus your attention onyour intention and make thatpotential a reality in your life.

Don’t be afraid to take a chance.The worst that can happen is thatyou don’t succeed … this time.

Being optimistic isn’t about believingnothing can go wrong. An optimistacknowledges what can go wrongbut expects things to go right.

Remember, however bad thingsmight be right now, this momentwill pass and your life will continueto be a good one.

Don’t deny your emotions andforce yourself to smile when youfeel like crying. Cry, but learn tosmile through your tears.

Be mindful of thecompany you keep.Don’t let negative peoplecloud your vision.

Believe in yourself, believe in yourdreams and believe in your rightto achieve your dreams.

Your life paradigm is the set ofbeliefs or operating system for yourlife. Make sure you choose one thatsupports lifelong happiness.

Regardless of your upbringing orformative experiences, it is never toolate to start believing in yourself.

Examine your self-talk.Never speak to yourselfmore harshly than you wouldto a small child.

The happiest, most successfulpeople believe in themselvesunconditionally. They knowthey can do, be and have allthat they want in life.

Don’t depend on others tofuel your self-belief.Develop your self-belief so thatit becomes self-sustaining.

When you believe in yourselfit is easier not to takecriticism, knock-backs anddisappointments personally

When someone else doesn’t believein you or your dreams, rememberit’s about them, not you.

Let go of the idea of winningor losing. In the game of life,the most important thingis just showing upand doing your best.

You only have one life.Make sure that yours isone you are happyto be living.

Perfectionism is a lost cause.Focus your energy on beingthe best you can be.

True happiness is a state of being,not one of doing or having.

Focus on what matters.Honour your valuesand make decisionsthat are aligned with them.

When you make a choice,acknowledge all the consequences.That way you won’t be leftfeeling compromised.

There is no such thingas ‘no choice’. There arealways other options.Explore yours.

Self-pity never leads to happiness.Remind yourself that the situationmay not be ideal, but it’s rarely theworst that could ever happen.

Don’t sabotage yourchance for happiness.Own up to the real choicesyou are making.

Choose to be happy.It’s the only sensible option!

So many of life’s eventualitiesare beyond your control.Work out what things you caninfluence and come to a peacefulacceptance of the rest.

Choose your battles wisely.Unless you have a very highchance of victory, spare yourenergy and walk away

Don’t be attached to outcomes.Enjoy your experiences for whatthey are, what you have gainedand what you have learned.

Unless you have a crystal ballyou don’t know how thefuture is going to unfold.Focus on the things you caninfluence and don’t fretover the rest.

No matter how much youcare about someone,you can’t take responsibilityfor their happiness.

You can’t make someonedo something just becauseyou want them to.What you do have, however,is the opportunity toinfluence their choices.

Being a control freakis a sign of a vulnerableself-esteem. The betteryou feel about yourselfthe less you need to controleverything around you.