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Room service? Send up a larger room."]

Groucho Marx
humor hotel-rooms hotels room-service

The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in the room and think about shooting myself in the head.

David Sedaris , em When You Are Engulfed in Flames
death humor hotels

Gladys, darling, light of my life. There are principles higher than mere survival. It’s not enough to live this life; there must be a quality to living. There are minimum standards. If a man can’t get an upgrade when almost every other guest in the entire hotel has been brutally murdered, then something is wrong.

M. Suddain , em Hunters & Collectors
life-lessons hotels

Superficially my war was a comfortable exercise in futility carried out in a grand Scottish hotel amongst the bridge players and swillers of easy-come-by whisky. My chest got me out of active service and into guilt, as I wrote two, or is it three of the novels for which I am now acclaimed.

Patrick White , em Three Uneasy Pieces
war novels whisky futility comfort hotels world-war-ii

The man behind the check-in counter gives the impression that he has just axe-murdered the motel's owner (and family, and family pet) and is going through these procedures of hostelry so as not to arouse suspicion.

Paul Quarrington , em The Ravine
humour murder hotels receptionists

There should be a sex-related metric with which you could measure sex in hotels, especially the illicit variety, but of what would that metric consist? How about increments of remorse?

Rick Moody , em Hotels of North America
sex hotels

These hotels are not consoling places. Far from it. Any number of people had hung up their hats on those pegs. Even the flies, if you thought of it, had settled on other people’s noses. As for the cleanliness which hit him in the face, it wasn’t cleanliness, so much as bareness, frigidity; a thing that had to be.

Virginia Woolf , em Mrs. Dalloway
travel hotels anonymity

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

Chelsea Handler , em My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
humor travel hotels

There are many hostelries in his report, which is the true account of an expedition.

Claudio Magris , em Danube: A Sentimental Journey from the Source to the Black Sea
travel hotels inns

He thinks money spent on a home is money wasted. He's lived too much in hotels. Never the best hotels, of course. Second-rate hotels. He doesn't understand a home. He doesn't feel at home in it. And yet, he wants a home. He's even proud of having this shabby place. He loves it here.

Eugene O'Neill , em Long Day's Journey Into Night
home hotels hotel

When her mother combed Harriet's hair, she said that the woods were disgustingly muddy and mosquito-ridden. During her history unit on pioneers, her father bashfully admitted that he couldn't pitch a tent, barbeque, or fight off bears in a forest. They both agreed that such a place was unsafe. Hotels were better.

Kimberly Karalius , em Pocket Forest
parents forests hotels woods overprotective

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