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Vampire strength might not let me lift cars, but I will tear up some shrubbery all day long.

Drew Hayes , em The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
magic vampire wolves lions shifters accountant high-school-reunion walking-dead zonbie

You’re a good man who happens to be a vampire. We aren’t human, but that doesn’t make us monsters.

Drew Hayes , em The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
magic vampire wolves lion zombie shifters accountant high-school-reunion walking-dead

Albert died in an unfortunate accident sometime ago and was raised as a zombie by his amateur necromancer friend, Neil. Bubba was a new friend we had acquired in Vegas when helping him gain back the freedom he had previously gambled away. The fourth member of our group, a government agent and my girlfriend named Krystal, was out of town for work this week, thus I was conducting my first weekly scrabble tournament with just the three of us. Which leaves only me to be accounted for in the explanation. My name. which I hope you know by now. is Frederick Frankford Fletcher and I am a vampire, though still not the type that inspires swooning or terror.

Drew Hayes , em The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
magic zombie witches spells shifter necromancer wolf-shifter lion-shifter high-school-reunion walking-dead horse-shifter vampire-accountant

Look, I’ll tell you what I do, but you won’t believe me.” … “Given that I just found you bound and gagged, my mind is somewhat more receptive than it might normally be.” “Well then, here’s the deal,” Krystal said as she sat down next to me. “Everything you think you know about monsters is a lie. Ghouls, ghosts, werewolves and more are real and hiding out behind the scenes in our world. Officially, they are known as parahumans.

Drew Hayes , em The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
vampires monsters zombies shifters wolf-shifters high-school-reunion necromancers parahumans

Are you telling me that vampires and werewolves are the reason America won the Revolutionary War?,” I asked, dumbfounded.

Drew Hayes , em The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
vampire monsters zombies shifters undead wolf-shifters high-school-reunion parahumans

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