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That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know.""Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind.""I so wish you hadn't said that.

Rachel Caine , em Feast of Fools
humor vampires gross

Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
humor food joke humour funny eat gluttony impression gaze humorous quotes energy greedy greed diet satire jokes aphorism quotations gross fat urges anorexia hilarious obesity stare suppression repression aphorisms large energies junk suppress staring slender emaciated angular anorexic aphorist aphorists as-thin-as-a-rake beefy beer-bellied big-boned blubbery bony chubbiness chubby chunky corpulence corpulent fatness fatty flabbiness flabby fleshy gangling gangly gaunt gawky gazing glutton grossness heavyset hollow-cheeked junk-food lanky lean looking-like-a-bag-of-bones meaty obese of-ample-proportions overweight paunchy pinched plump plumpness plus-sized porky portliness portly potbellied pudgy rangy rawboned repress roly-poly rotundity scraggy scrawny skeletal skin-and-bones skinny slim spindly sticklike stout stoutness takeaway takeaways takeout takeouts thin tubby underfed undernourished urge waiflike well-upholstered

My sincere thanks to friends and family, especially my mother, father, brother, and Mandy, who continue to love and support me despite my obsessions.

Jonathan Ball , em Ex Machina
friendship poetry embarrassment gross deus language-barrier stupor

I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss.

Stephen King
funny vampire gross

Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there's nothing sensible you can do with it.

Andrew Smith
humor funny teens weird sexual teenagers random gross condoms eww nuclear-waste sensible teen-sexuality

Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products.

Jennifer Ziegler , em How Not to Be Popular
food funny gross feminine-hygiene-products

Bombs Away!" he yelled, swooping low over StregaSchloss. He saw little figures on the ground fleeing from the large green projectile that was speeding their way. "And a direct hit, if I'm not mistaken," he observed to himself. With a tremendous slapping sound, Ffup's digestive overload landed on a human target. There was a scream, a ghastly choking sound, and then silence.

Debi Gliori , em Pure Dead Magic
humor funny gross hilarious

Do we have a hand mirror?' I asked from the kitchen doorway.'Never use one,' said Lester, examining the date on a carton of sour cream.'Naturally, you're a male. What you see is what you've got,' I said resentfully.'Huh?' said Lester.

Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , em The Grooming of Alice
funny sexuality woman brother girl mirror confusion humorous weird alice random gross teenage-girl sibling genitals hand-mirror resentful sour-cream teenage-boy

There you go. Perfect. And can you still throw up at will like you could in sixth grade? That would be good.

Adam Rex , em Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story
funny gross

I wish I could run away,” Rudger told Jersey as they both rushed in and out of various patients’ rooms, darting around like little ants. “I can’t leave and be on my own though, not right now, anyway.”“Why?” asked Jersey, waving her flashlight in mid-air.Rudger froze for a second, a regretful haze emanating from his eyes. “It’d break her heart if I left.”“Ain’t that normal? For parents to have mixed feelings about their kids growin’ up?”“Not for me, it isn’t.”Jersey made a pitying face in his direction. “So, you wanna keep bein’ towed around with your mom, livin’ in a gross town like Danvers?”“Is there a choice?”“Yeah, there sure is. You can run away and try to be a whole person before it’s too late, or you can live with mommy dearest forever and turn into Norman Bates.

Rebecca McNutt , em Danvers: The Reckoning
friendship emotional angst drama rebellion parent normal gross small-town mommy runaway mental-hospital backwater danvers-state heaert-heartbreak norman-bates rural teen-roance

One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
humor joke sweet humour funny misconceptions health healthy belief beliefs weight satire jokes aphorism gross fat obesity mass heavy aphorisms large misconception aphorist aphorists beefy beer-bellied big-boned blubbery chubby chunky corpulent fatty flabby fleshy heavyset lean meaty obese of-ample-proportions overweight paunchy plump plus-sized porky portly potbellied roly-poly skinny stout thin tubby well-upholstered sugar sweet-tooth misbelief misbeliefs oily 100 grease greasy healthy-food healthy-foods hundred-percent-juice juice

Cruel people are not only people who kill innocent people with guns. Individuals who steal from government coffers to enrich themselves at the expense of the poor are grossly cruel.

Israelmore Ayivor , em Leaders' Frontpage: Leadership Insights from 21 Martin Luther King Jr. Thoughts
individuals leadership food-for-thought cruel cruelty thief innocence politics gun politicians leaders destroy kill innocent government gross thieves israelmore-ayivor martin-luther-king-jr martin-luther-king martin-luther grossly lynch

The extent of God’s grace always eclipses the extent of my grotesqueness. Therefore, I can never be bad enough for God to tell me that He’s had enough.

Craig D. Lounsbrough
god redemption christian patience grace christianity bad enough awful gross grotesque eclipse exhausted eclipses

If it doesn't sweat, jiggle, or pant, it's not alive.

Phyllis Reynolds Naylor , em The Grooming of Alice
living running advice weird alive alice random exercise gross sweat jogging pant jiggle

I don’t have enough gross words in my gross vocabulary to describe how gross that gross thought is. Gross.

A.S. King , em Ask the Passengers
humor ya young-adult lgbt lgbtq gross

This was the kack’s cradle, icky-poo’s bassinet. It was Death and Diarrhea, singing duet.

Jack Bunbury , em He/She Smells a Hoo-Hoo
humorous smell gross stink aroma odor

I remember the stink of corruption. It had a kind of sweetness to it, a sweetness that'd make you want to hurl.

Mark Lawrence
sad gross sad-quotes

An acre of poppies and a forest of spruce boggle no one’s mind. Even ten square miles of wheat gladdens the hearts of most . . . No, in the plant world, and especially among the flowering plants, fecundity is not an assault on human values. Plants are not our competitors; they are our prey and our nesting materials. We are no more distressed at their proliferation than an owl is at a population explosion among field mice . . . but in the animal world things are different, and human feelings are different . . . Fecundity is anathema only in the animal. "Acres and acres of rats" has a suitably chilling ring to it that is decidedly lacking if I say, instead, "acres and acres of tulips".

Annie Dillard , em Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
life nature human perspective green gross plants page-164

Big food companies make hot dogs with mechanically separated meat (msm) that, as described matter-of-factly by the [USDA], is "a paste-like and batter-like meat product produced by forcing bones with attached edible meat under high pressure through a sieve or similar device to separate the bone from the edible meat tissue.". I read that and wanted to unread it.

Jennifer Reese , em Make the Bread, Buy the Butter: What You Should and Shouldn't Cook from Scratch -- Over 120 Recipes for the Best Homemade Foods
food gross food-industry usda hotdogs

umm... abit gross it kinda about boyfriend and girlfriend kinda going throw then they break up then they love each other then they make up again and the girl father said u have to come home until 9pm but the girls want more time to be with her boyfriend :)

Jacqueline Wilson , em Girls Out Late
happy gross teenage-stuff

I like gross generalizations...I also like disgusting specifics!

Josh Stern , em And That's Why I'm Single: What Good Is Having A Lucky Horseshoe Up Your Butt When The Horse Is Still Attached?
humor funny absurd comedy gross disgusting generalizations specifics

A man who has been dead for a week in a hot trailer looks more like a man than you would first expect.

Lynda Barry , em Cruddy
murder gross

… MOM!” Martha finally screamed. “Mom, you’ve got to see these!”“Is it about Hermione?” She exclaimed, rushing into the middle of the room. Her mouth dropped open in horror when she noticed Hermione’s walls.“I can’t find any… polite… photos of her, mom.”“Why are there ones of her eating out of dumpsters and giving seniors the finger?”“No idea,” Martha replied.“Oh god… I’ll get one out of my wallet,” Her mom decided, hurrying out of the room frantically. ...It’s funny how when one thing happens, it can make you forget about something else.

Rebecca McNutt , em HERmione
girl garbage weird photo polite gross teenage dumpster

She shuddered. “What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.

Tammara Webber , em Easy
kissing laugh-out-loud funny-but-true gross

Refrigerators are good for keeping homemade moonshine less gross. Freezers are good for keeping rattlesnakes less angry. Garages are good to hide in when your wife finds either.

Jenny Lawson , em Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things
humor wife hide find angry gross refrigerator garage jenny-lawson moonshine rattlesnake

If you think that's gross... check out what I found on FACT Verse called "11 Disgusting Foods That People Actually Eat"... WOw!

Deyth Banger
facts fact gross what wow out

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