As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.

Don't look shy if you wear rag and people gag, many are in the grave wearing skeleton, and you should even be happier for wearing a skin without clothes.

I'm very depressed how in this country you can be told "That's offensive" as though those two words constitute an argument.

If heaven was created only for the most stupid clown, then Mr Bean could have been the only righteous man on earth.