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Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.

Lili St. Crow
wisdom humor humour funny writing writer humorous writers-on-writing funny-as-hell funny-quotes funny-stuff humor-work writers-block writing-philosophy

Ish #303 "It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating.

Regina Griffin
humor funny funny-as-hell funny-quotes

Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him."What?"How did it end? oh, right. "Because your butt is fine."He gazed at her in that way he had like he was measuring her for straitjacket. "I think-" he started, then stopped and seemed to be having trouble talking. Cleared his throat three times before saying, "I think the line is 'because your butt is out of this world.""Oh. That makes a lot more sense. I can see that. See, I read this book about how to get guys to like you and they said it was a line that never failed but i got interrupted in the middle and the line before it was about china-not the country, the kind you eat off of-and that is where the fine part was but i must have gotten them confused. He just kept staring at her.

Michele Jaffe , em Prom Nights from Hell
dating funny funny-as-hell line

Look at the huge success of Fifty Shades of Grey. The girl in the book lets a rich guy beat her and ritually rape her, and she likes it! She finds it erotic! But imagine if Christian Grey wasn't a billionaire. Imagine if he lived in a dirty old trailer down by the river. Then that story wouldn't be a sexy romance novel, but an episode of CSI.

Oliver Markus , em Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends
wealth money erotic erotica erotic-romance christian-grey fifty-shades-of-grey rich grey rape funny-but-true funny-as-hell funny-quotes billionaire rape-culture money-quotes wealth-quotes fifty-shades erotica-romance trailer trailer-park billionaire-romance billionaire-erotica csi fifty-shades-of-grey-humor

I think we're avoiding the most important question here. What matters most. What means the most to men like us." Conall growled at Billy Dunwich's sincere face. "I am not telling you if she swallows."Dunwich smiled. "Just tell me if she's a good girl...or if she's a very good girl?

Shelly Laurenston , em Go Fetch!
men funny-as-hell

The problem is, these days you have to listen to too many parts of your body. Sometimes I go with my gut feeling, some say go with what your heart says - it's only a matter of time before my appendix will have an opinion. This is probably why there are so many helplines these days. No one knows who to bloody listen to!

Karl Pilkington , em The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad
travel comedy funny-as-hell fear-of-unknown

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

Carroll Bryant
humor humorous funny-but-true hilarious funny-as-hell funny-humor funny-but-sad comical

He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.

Jeaniene Frost , em One Grave at a Time
humorous bones funny-as-hell one-grave-at-a-time

I'm sorry. I can't serve him that item," the waitress said, only somewhat surprising her since she had a pretty good idea why."Why not?" she found herself asking anyway out of curiosity to see if she was right.*** "Because he's a Bradford," the woman explained with a shrug.

R.L. Mathewson , em Perfection
humor food funny-as-hell bradford

We all have that one friend that walks into your home like its their home

Thabang Gideon Magaola
friendship life-lessons friendship-quotes funny-as-hell

She thinks you're stalking me.""Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is.

Margaret Watson , em Protect Me
sarcasm sassy funny-as-hell

Get your filthy paws off my son, feet pue tan!" Cherise

Sherrilyn Kenyon , em Illusion
demons funny-as-hell a-mother-s-love cherise-gautier

If life is unfair with everyone, doesn’t that make life fair

Thabang Gideon Magaola
life-lessons lesson lifestyle funny-as-hell lessons-learned

Ish #21 "Stop saying the only meat you eat is chicken. It's still meat!

Regina Griffin
humor funny-but-true funny-as-hell funny-quotes humerous

I'm beginning to think my name has been changed to 'Damn it' or 'Asshole'" Styxx

Sherrilyn Kenyon
funny-as-hell funny-quotes funny-remarks

You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt

Laurell K. Hamilton , em The Killing Dance
humorous-quotations funny-as-hell funny-quotes

She stared into his eyes and announced, “A good-bye kiss.”It was at that Raid stopped dead. “What?”“Raiden, the gig is up,” she declared, and Raid closed his eyes.Jesus, how could the woman be so infuriating and so fucking cute all at once?He opened his eyes and asked, “The gig is up?”She leaned into him and hissed, “Yes.”Fuck, he wanted to kiss her.He also wanted to shak

Kristen Ashley , em Raid
humor funny-as-hell funny-quotes language-understanding gig jig

This was one of those non-glamorous parts about college that people never tell you about - worrying that the dilapidated apartment hosting a party would fall apart with you in it.

Alyssa Rose Ivy , em Focus
college funny-as-hell

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