That was the moment when Alice knew for sure that she and Charlie Erdling would be friends for the rest of their lives.

Her wedding ring, her gentle brush-offs, and her outright rejection had been minor obstacles compared to the big no of another man kissing her cheek.

She had platonic all but tattooed on her forehead.

I don't like relationships, though. I mean, it is nice and all, but I prefer to be the friend. I don't know why. They're kind of exhausting.

What, Kilorn?' I sigh. 'What,' he echoes, shaking his head. After a long second, something snaps in him. 'I know you don't feel the same way I do. About us.' I'm seized by the urge to smash my head against a rock. Us. It feels stupid to talk about, a foolish waste of time and energy. But more than that, it's embarrassing and uncomfortable. My cheeks flame red. This is not a conversation I ever wanted to have with him.

Eventually, I spent so much time in the friend zonethat I grew to think of it as some kindof magical home away from home, some lush forestfilled with unicorns and elves and puppiesnone of whom were getting laid.