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The simplest strategy for bouts of noxious flatus is to not care. Or perhaps to take advantage of a gastroenterologist I know: get a dog. (To blame.)

Mary Roach , in Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal
humor dogs science flatulence

Leaning forward in the chair, Harley squeezed out a controlled fart, so no one could hear it. This damn reception area was like a echo chamber. If he weren’t careful, it could reverberate around the hall like a shotgun blast.

Alan Kinross , in Longinus the Vampire: Redemption
humor wind horror humorous-quotations humorous-quotes horror-fantasy flatulence

Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars!" - Calvin"Flatulence could be all the rage, but it would still be disgusting." - Calvin's mom

Bill Watterson , in There's Treasure Everywhere: A Calvin and Hobbes Collection
health poor cool bad trendy rage disgusting smoke flatulence cigars

I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly.

Pawan Mishra , in Coinman: An Untold Conspiracy
self-assurance humorous-quotes funny-quotes swearing fart flatulence

She was dry. She was lying on something soft. She was wrapped in quilts. There was a star of light drifting above her, and a smell like a herb garden. Taggle was a long warmth stretched out at one side, his chin in her hand, his tail curled over her neck. She thought they might be in heaven.Taggle farted.Plain Kate coughed and sneezed. And then she really was awake.

Erin Bow
comfortable comfort sleepy rude-awakening flatulence

…he was doing a breath hydrogen test. If you know the amount of hydrogen someone is exhaling orally, it's a simple matter to extrapolate the amount they're exhaling rectally. This is because a fixed percentage of hydrogen produced in the colon is absorbed into the blood and, and when it reaches the lungs, exhaled. The breath hydrogen test has given flatus researchers a simple, consistent measure of gas production that does not require the subject to fart into a balloon.

Mary Roach , in Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal
blood gas mary-roach flatulence hydrogen absorb colon extrapolate gulp

Coinman lets out another legendary explosive from his hindquarters!

Pawan Mishra , in Coinman: An Untold Conspiracy
bullying gossip fart flatulence
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