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Accomplishments don’t erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality. It covers it up, with a creative version of pride and ego. Only restitution, forgiving yourself and others, compassion, repentance and living with dignity will ever erase the past.

Shannon L. Alder
truth hurt peace pride compassion freedom hatred growth value giving forgiveness broken-hearted confidence bitterness dignity inner-peace anger low-self-esteem revenge ego self-love self-hatred move-on creativity rebel dumped new-beginnings obvious the-past spiritual-growth start-over accomplishments games betrayed stubborn hidden-agendas repentance ignored blindsighted blown-off erasing-the-past false-confidence false-worth forgiving-others inner-joy live-free proud proving-worth real-value restituition seeking-approval steps-of-repentance truth-follower

People that hold onto hate for so long do so because they want to avoid dealing with their pain. They falsely believe if they forgive they are letting their enemy believe they are a doormat. What they don’t understand is hatred can’t be isolated or turned off. It manifests in their health, choices and belief systems. Their values and religious beliefs make adjustments to justify their negative emotions. Not unlike malware infesting a hard drive, their spirit slowly becomes corrupted and they make choices that don’t make logical sense to others. Hatred left unaddressed will crash a person’s spirit. The only thing he or she can do is to reboot, by fixing him or herself, not others. This might require installing a firewall of boundaries or parental controls on their emotions. Regardless of the approach, we are all connected on this "network of life" and each of us is responsible for cleaning up our spiritual registry.

Shannon L. Alder
life pride hatred sad choices emotions values character forgiveness ego brokenness history denial adversity trials self-help attitude unhappy problems negative anger-management computers self-reflection self-righteousness stubborn foolish judgemental superiority blindsighted false-confidence relationships-101 spiritual-health tests stayingpositiveu-com life-challenges blaming-others doormat hard-hearted reboot unforgiving bad-attitude spiritual-death lack-of-compassion internalizing changing-perspective false-ego

Chasing a man is not winning. The only thing you win is the loss of your dignity. Confidence is knowing your value, instead of expecting a man’s love to provide you with value.

Shannon L. Alder
love mistakes truth relationships women dating dating-advice forgetting men moving-on empowerment sad letting-go self-respect desperate losing value dignity low-self-esteem self-worth ego dogs revelation players delusion cheaters teenagers competition games observations pathetic wasted-time the-good-life false-confidence staying-positive marriages examples bad-karma lesson-in-life false-happiness bargain-basement-prices betrayers exiting eye-openers lack-of-value on-sale positive-women regaining-control

The source to low self-esteem is the lack of control you feel you have in your life. If you spend your life competing with others, trying to make right the wrongs done to you, or waste your time trying to look right, you will never achieve contentment and emotional balance. People you encounter in life can’t be controlled by you. You only have control of yourself. Build your life around a relationship with a higher power and achieving what you’re passionate about. When you let go of what you can’t control, true peace can then enter your life. This is the path to achieving emotional balance.

Shannon L. Alder
relationships women men moving-on life-lessons freedom letting-go self-esteem self-respect worry anxiety confidence dignity balance self-worth self-love perspective christianity adversity authentic-self buddhism competition hidden-agendas piety careers false-confidence true-peace worldliness seeing-yourself insecurities emotional-pain spiritual-awakening need-to-be-right role-model-for-kids emotional-balance false-righteousness need-for-control need-to-compete role-model-for-teenagers satan-s-trick seeing-others wrong-reasons

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