What Does Poor Posture Look Like?• Stiff & rigid• Slumping • Slouching• Hunched over• Rounded shoulders• Overly arched back• Stumbling• Head forwardIn sensitivity, we must be aware that many people suffer from poor posture because of physical disability, injury, health issues, heredity, obesity, or musculoskeletal construction. These descriptions are not meant to offend or judge people who are unable to change their posture.

Exaggerating Your Gestures“Have you ever walked through a door and been jumped on by an over-enthusiastic dog with big paws who practically knocked you down? Some people have that effect. Being too flamboyant and over-boisterous can be overkill and push people away. Drama queens and kings have mastered these exaggerations, much to the chagrin of their observers. Remaining intentional in your gestures is a mark of poise, elegance, and maturity.

Ask any person trained in sign language and they will confirm the fact that you can talk with your hands. Your hand gestures communicate for you and are an integral part of your language. While some people may come by hand gestures naturally, you can learn to be even more expressive to get your points across—and to be memorable.

We must remember that some hand gestures which are commonly used and widely accepted in the U.S. might be considered rude or offensive in other countries. As always, I encourage you to be mindful of how and where you use certain gestures to assure you maintain your professionalism and positive impressions.

A smart way of using your hands to make you look more interesting, thoughtful, and self-assured is to steeple your hands and fingers. Try using it strategically in formal environments or workplaces to show confidence and consideration.

Gestures and the Signals They Send• Rubbing your face, palms, and neck may signify anxiety and stress.• Arms crossed with clenched fists may signify hostility, anger, and impatience.• Arms crossed with each hand gripping other arm may signify insecurity and self-doubt.• Arms crossed with thumbs up may signify interest and engagement.• Or my favorite—arms crossed may signify that you are simply cold!• Fidgeting and squirming may signify that you are lying, afraid of being found out, insecure, or uncomfortable.• Standing with your hands behind your back may signify power and superiority.

In his book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie encourages you to greet people with "animation and enthusiasm." This form of kinesthetic responsiveness provides a splendid example of how impactful your gestures can be while responding to others. Whether it be running up to an old friend you have not seen in a while or standing up to greet a business associate when he approaches your table, being kinesthetically responsive is an impactful way to gesture your level of interest, engagement, and enthusiasm.

In her book, Ask Outrageously! my friend Linda Swindling suggests to “Mimic the body language of the most powerful people you know. They stand up straight, make appropriate eye contact, and use gestures to convey their points. Look at their feet. Usually they are placed about shoulder-width apart. They have an open stance. They smile and nod when they agree.”Begin paying attention to the poise, postures, and gestures of the people whom you admire and respect the most. How do they carry themselves to project excellence? Adapting their behaviors may serve you well to enhance and improve your body language.

As a professional speaker, Susanne travels all over the country and practically lives on airplanes. One day as she entered security to board yet another flight, she was struck by the poise, posture, and gestures of the man in front of her in line. As a communications expert, she observed his excellent presentation with appreciation and awe.The gentleman was dressed impeccably in a crisp white shirt and well-fitted suit and he sported a new haircut. She watched him as he removed his flawless leather belt, his gold money clip, and well-polished shoes. (And of course, he had Listerine in a baggie to ensure fresh breath!) The care with which he dismantled was impressive. His poised and fluid movements were deliberate and respectful of his personal possessions. As he regrouped and proceeded down the concourse, she was struck by how his stance and carriage intrigued and impressed her. His projection of elegance created a presence of pride and dignity. He left a remarkable impression.

Social orientation can be used to your advantage to make a great first impression; however, it can also backfire when we violate the boundaries of someone else’s personal space. Awareness of space, orientation, and proximity is a powerful tool for your relationship toolbox.

Become aware of the physical distance and spatial orientation that you experience while in the company of others. Being empathetic and sensitive to a person’s physical comfort zone can have a huge effect on the way in which you are received and perceived.

I have a few friends who are confined to wheelchairs for access and mobility. I don't want to always be looking down at them while they are looking up at me. To enjoy a meaningful conversation, I’m quick to kneel beside them or pull up a chair to talk at the same height. Begin to recognize the orientation of other people and align yourself with their body position and physical needs so that you may connect on a more balanced and effective level.

The Warm Welcome of Hospitality. Walt Disney World is the epitome of world-class customer service. Employees must be hyper-vigilant of spatial orientation to engage, impress, and interact with guests. For simply being near a guest, employees are trained to:• Make eye contact and smile.• Greet and welcome each and every guest.• Seek out guest contact.• Provide immediate service recovery.• Always display appropriate body language.• Preserve the “magical” guest experience.• Thank each guest and demonstrate that appreciation.

Many hospitality companies follow the "5 and 10 Rule," whereby when a customer is within ten feet of the employee, they should provide acknowledgement with eye contact and a genuine smile. When the customer is within five feet, it is encouraged to provide a warm welcome, sincere greeting, a friendly gesture, and offer to help, or to engage him or her in conversation.

In the legend of Camelot, King Arthur gave consideration as to how his knights might be positioned spatially to impart a message of power and status. He decided they would have their meetings at a round table, which meant that they were all considered equal and there was no “head of the table.” He built a league based on equality and mutual respect to unify and fortify the power of teamwork.

When you are sitting behind a desk with a person on the other side, there is a barrier between you that becomes a psychological and subliminal message. Some of the best leaders I know have a round table or a circle of chairs in their offices so that when people come in to speak with them, the arrangement lends itself to more engaging interaction. Using a roundtable in which there is no head fosters collaboration, cooperation, mutual respect, and equal positioning.

When having lunch or dinner at a long rectangular table, I prefer to take a middle chair so that I can turn to my left or to my right to make meaningful conversation with the people in attendance. When I have been seated at the very end, it can prove to be difficult to speak, hear, and connect with everyone there. Think ahead, and whenever possible, put yourself in the middle of the action!

Proxemics is the study of human use of space and the effects that population density has on behavior, social interaction, and communication. Imagine invisible bubbles around every person that provides each of us with comfort zones for social engagement and interaction.

In 1966, American anthropologist Edward T. Hall specified four distinct distance zones to describe the perception of physical space around us. Understanding these zones and honoring their invisible boundaries will give you a sixth sense about another person’s “space” as well as your own.Intimate Zone (less than 2’) —This zone represents our personal space and is reserved for the most trusted and loved people in our lives. Touching, hugging, standing side by side, and engaging in private conversations is common and encouraged. When an interloper violates this personal space, great discomfort and awkwardness can be created. What to do? Take a step back or sideways.Personal Zone (2’-4’) —This is the distance for interaction with good friends, family, social gatherings, or parties. It's an easy and relaxed space for talking, shaking hands, gesturing, laughing and making faces. Social Zone (4’-12') —This zone seems to be an appropriate distance for casual friends, colleagues, and acquaintances to interact. It is the comfortable distance we maintain while interacting or addressing large groups of people.Public Zone (over 12’) —This is the distance we keep from strangers or persons with little acquaintance. It provides the greatest distance between people. This is a safe space that still allows us to experience community and belonging with new people.

As you seek new opportunities to make favorable first impressions, be ever aware of the subtle effect that physical positioning and distance/closeness can have on your interactions with others and use this understanding to your advantage.

As you navigate the various zones with people, a variety of specific physical and psychological responses is elicited from them. Until you know someone, avoid invading his or her personal space. Getting closer gradually demonstrates that you like the other person. This gradual and comfortable approach begins the circle of rapport—he sees that you like him, he likes that you like him, and he reciprocates by liking you back.

As you navigate the various zones with people, a variety of specific physical and psychological responses are elicited from them. Until you know someone, avoid invading his or her personal space. Getting closer gradually demonstrates that you like the other person. This gradual and comfortable approach begins the circle of rapport—he sees that you like him, he likes that you like him, and he reciprocates by liking you back.

Have you decided to simply smile and nod to avoid a confrontation with someone who was being a jerk? Have you ever feigned agreement with your face to get along with others, even when you disagreed with their position? We all have. Your expressions of emotion can protect you at times in awkward situations, and when used with integrity. Test the waters by responding with an expression of curiosity or bewilderment when someone is acting inappropriately.

While smiling is a powerful facial gesture, there are other expressions on your face which reveal an extraordinary number of emotions. A body language of its own, people will read your facial messages and form opinions about you before you’ve even said a word.

Smiling is one of your most powerful non-verbal behaviors. People do read a book by its cover and these expressions provide glimpses into what they will find inside.

What are you projecting? How are you showing up? Are you aware of how your expressions are impacting your communication with others?

At any moment, you can use your face to open doors of opportunity if it demonstrates interest, enthusiasm, respect, understanding, delight, agreement, and more.

Look at the single words below; wear these emotions on your face for just a moment. Try them on for size and note how they make you feel:Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust.These are the basic human emotions which communicate with clear understanding across cultures, languages, and countries. In other words, a smile naturally conveys happiness and a frown naturally conveys sadness, no matter where you may be using your passport.

According to the “universality studies” conducted by psychologists Paul Ekman, Carroll Izard, and Friesen (1969-1972), the words Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust.describe the natural expressions of emotion shared by the entire human race.

Beyond these universal expressions of emotion, there are hundreds of variations which are often a matter of choice, whether consciously or subconsciously. Most every facial movement is connected to an emotion that conveys your state of being and your attitude

It is through these facial expressions that we write and feel our life story, create lifelong social habits—through which we are received and perceived by a multitude of others. When you want to make a positive first impression, let your face know!

See Your Expressions Through the Eyes of Others. Take the initiative to stand in front of a mirror and practice a wide range of emotions so that you can see what other people are seeing. Video tape yourself and watch your movements and your expressions. You can pick up on clues to what you need to fix and where you could improve your presentation.

My friend Julie was cooking dinner in her kitchen one night. Her expression was blank as she stood alone working by herself. Her daughter walked in and gasped, “Mom! What’s wrong?” She said “Nothing. I’m fine.” In response, her daughter added, “Then tell your face! You scared me!” Emotional expressions can easily be misinterpreted when we are not aware of what people are seeing. Being deep in thought can look that way.

Be aware, putting on a poker face can backfire during your first impressions because it can make people uncomfortable and make you more difficult to read and harder to get to know.

When my son was a teenager, he would use the ‘poker face’ tactic when I was lecturing, nagging, or suggesting. As a parent, it was maddening because I could not read his reactions! His stoicism would sometimes deflate my efforts or make me surrender in laughter, changing the subject all together.

Well Hello Halo! It is human nature for us to make generalized judgments about a person using only a couple of traits. The "Expressivity Halo" Theory explains how we connect various personalities to specific facial expressions and assign assumptions about that person.

We are more likely to trust a person who is easier to read; they're easier to believe. Or we tend to think that an energetic and happy person will be more productive. Even traits such as competence, dominance, and courage can be conveyed by certain facial expressions and will stimulate unconscious bias.

ASK YOURSELF: Are your facial expressions in alignment with your true personality? Are they working on your behalf to project the best impression possible?

As a professional speaker, my facial expressions are essential for effectively telling stories, engaging audiences, fostering involvement, and connecting on a personal level. One day I decided to get Botox in my forehead to erase a few wrinkles and signs of aging. Much to my surprise and disappointment, I could no longer raise my eyebrows. My face was stuck in a heavy-browed expression, which is the polar-opposite of my joyful spirit and enthusiastic nature. It makes a funny story, but it taught me that authenticity wins over vanity any day!

Poise: a graceful and elegant bearing in person; a composure of dignity and manner.Postures: the position of a person’s body when standing, sitting, or walking; carriage, bearing, and stance.Gestures: moving parts of your body to express an idea, opinion, emotion, or meaning.“Poise confirms purpose. Postures portray personality. Gestures express emotions. Your poise, postures, and gestures make a powerful statement about who you are and how you feel about yourself. This dynamic trio speaks volumes about you.

How do you enter a room? How do you walk into a job interview? How do you approach a sales prospect for the first time? Accomplished leaders know that the way they make an entrance can project their confidence and set the tone for their interaction with others. Use your poise, postures, and gestures to make it grand.

Your poise, postures, and gestures are the physical manifestations of your attitudes, perceptions, belief systems, self-esteem, feelings, and engagement. Be sure to know if they are working well or hindering the actualization of your potential. Being the architect for your habitual patterns of non-verbal language, you have the power to change any of it at any time.

ASK YOURSELF: Do you appear self-confident or unsure? Do you project a calm demeanor or scream instability? Do you come across as a leader or try to stay invisible? Do you walk with purpose and intention or doubt and trepidation? Do you look vibrant and energetic, or stressed out and overwhelmed?

Since non-verbal signals have five times the impact of verbal signals, paying attention to the image you are projecting is crucial to your first impressions.

It has been said that poise is our highest state of consciousness. It reflects your presence, composure, balance, gratitude, discretion, and self-respect. Whether a man or a woman, a poised person carries within themselves an elegant air of dignity and grace. Their personal brand is polished and purposeful.

Poised Positioning• Be mindful of how you use your body to communicate.• Be fully present in the moment.• Be thoughtful and gracious in your actions.• Be fluid and elegant in your movements.• Express flow—walk in freedom and spontaneity.• Develop an unshakeable sense of authentic inner confidence and certainty.• Develop a deep respect for others.• Move slower and more deliberately.• Walk in integrity, class, and modesty.• Smile kindly and laugh softly.• Become a student of manners and etiquette.

In years gone by, particularly in the East and the South, ladies would attend charm school to learn how to elegantly stand, sit, dance, and walk. Even today, there are "Cotillion" classes for young people to learn how to carry themselves with dignity and use proper social graces. I don't mind sounding old-fashioned because these culturally rich rituals lay a firm foundation for the appropriate behaviors and excellent manners necessary for a positive impression. Embracing a tried and true tradition can sometimes be beneficial. Let's avoid the awkward, embarrassing, and unsophisticated ways we see all too often.

9 Reasons Why Improving Your Posture is ImportantBy projecting strength and excellence in your physical presence, you will. . . 1. Look better and feel better.2. Appear, and be, more fit and healthy.3. Powerfully influence your mindset.4. Appear more confident, self-assured, and competent.5. Carry yourself with more purpose and intention.6. Breathe deeper and get more oxygen in your body, which will improve your energy and health.7. Reduce or prevent back pain and muscle tension.8. Improve productivity by energizing your physiology.9. Make a significantly more positive impression.

Proper posture conveys that you are ready to take command and master new situations. When you project this level of confidence, you will instill confidence in others.

12 Ways to Improve & Project Confident Posture1. Go people watching. Note how you interpret the different postures you observe. This will expand your awareness of how posture impacts first impressions and will help you become more aware of yours.2. Stand in front of a mirror to see what other people are seeing. Are your shoulders level? Are your hips level? Do you appear aligned? Are you projecting confidence or timidity?3. Take posture pictures to provide you with points of reference and a baseline over time. Look at past photos of yourself.4. Stand with your back against a wall and align your spine.5. Evenly balance on both feet, spaced hip-width apart.6. Take yoga or Pilates classes to strengthen your core muscles, improve flexibility, and balance, all which support your posture.7. Consciously pull your shoulders back, stand erect with chin held high.8. Practice tucking in your stomach, pulling your shoulders back, raising your chin, and looking straight ahead.9. Sit up straight without being rigid.10. Enter a room like you belong there or own it.11. Stand with an open stance to be welcoming and approachable.12. Angle your body towards the person to whom you are speaking. Angling your body away may signify that you are indifferent, fearful, putting up a barrier, or trying to get away from them.

The next time you have a high-stakes meeting, a presentation, or an important social engagement, practice power posing beforehand to potently and powerfully impact your confidence.

Poor Posture Promotes . . . In addition to sabotaging people’s perceptions and impressions of you, poor posture can cause uncomfortable health issues:• Fatigue• Discomfort• Neck and back pain• Muscle imbalance• Headaches and body aches• Structural changes to your body

Accompanied with good eye contact, a smile serves as an immediate icebreaker to warm up relations and turn a stranger into a friend.

You can transform your entire physical appearance, personal experience, energy, and social success simply by smiling. And it is also good to do just for you!

Smiling is truly one of the most generous gifts you can give to another. You never know when your smile may inspire the sad, encourage the hopeless, heal a heart, or change someone's world for the better.

You would be surprised how even the simplest of smiles can ease a social situation, encourage another, remove barriers, and dissolve differences. It is not only a gift to the recipient, but you will receive affirming returns on your investment.

Smiling reduces blood pressure by lowering the stress-inducing hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As my mother, who is now in her eighties, navigates the challenges of aging, her mantra has become, “Keep moving and keep smiling.” She has observed the rapid decline of her friends who haven’t. She is striving to stay strong, happy, and vital; her desire to smile is helping her to live a healthier, more satisfying, and longer life.

Research has shown that smiling releases endorphins—the happy hormones that shift your physiology for improved well-being. When you smile and your eyes crinkle, your body releases chemicals that change the chemistry of your brain, lifting spirits, and reducing pain. Even when it is hard to smile and you are forcing it, positive changes take place in your physiology.

Your smile draws people to you as it simultaneously brings out the best in you both.

Your smile is a kind hello and a sincere invitation that opens the gateway to engage others and begin conversations.

Your smile is a magnet for goodwill and positivity. In unison with your attitude, people gravitate to happy people!

As the saying goes, "Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.” Smiling is a universal symbol of happiness that transcends language and communication challenges.

A smile is one of the most powerful and important body language cues we share with others—and as such a heartfelt emotion, it's impossible to express its effect on others in words.

A genuine smile is your best fashion accessory and the most important thing you can wear.

No matter your age, a smile makes you look and feel better. People spend billions of dollars every year to get pumped, pulled, tucked, and tweaked in hopes of being more beautiful. But there is nothing like a genuine smile to transform your appearance and provide an instant facelift.

A friend recently shared that even if he is in a rough mood, when someone smiles at him it enhances his kindness and encourages him to project a better attitude.

I attended a symposium to hear Shilagh Mirgain, Ph.D. speak on Mindful Leadership. Throughout her program, I made sure to make eye contact and smile to support, affirm, and engage with her presentation. When audience members do this for me, it adds an extra punch of dynamic energy that enriches my presentations and improves my performance.

One of the speaking programs I deliver is entitled, "Service with a Smile . . . How to Create a Sensational Customer Experience." Smiling is at the heart of my teaching because when employees smile while delivering service, it tells the guest/client/customer . . . You matter.You are important.We are glad you are here.We appreciate your business.

When you see people smiling, does it give you a sense of connection with them? The law of reciprocity illustrates it is hard to not smile back when someone smiles at you.

Whether you smile to make a great first impression for customer service, building rapport, communicating your intentions, networking, sharing your happiness, closing deals, or demonstrating you are fully present and engaged, smiling is the key to your success.

Smiling Bloopers• Insincere smiling can backfire! (Different from a shy smile that just beckons a friendly "hello.")• Transitioning from a smile to a straight face, too quickly, may give others the impression that you are fake or do not like them.• Going overboard and smiling all the time, especially when it is inappropriate, will make you appear insincere.• If your mouth smiles, but your eyes don’t, there is a disconnect that can make you appear less authentic and trustworthy.