You can’t inspire and lead people without earning their attention. You achieve that in a counter-intuitive way – by paying close attention to what interests them.

People lose their enthusiasm and disengage for a variety of reasons. It can be due to boredom, disinterest, rejection, apathy, overwhelm, or exhaustion. Once a person begins to disengage, the tendency can bleed over into other areas of their life and disconnect them from what would actually bring them joy.

Employees who are not engaged have untapped potential that sours like a perishable item.

In good organizations, leaders are treated with a sense of appreciation and respect by employees; in great organizations, employees are treated with the same esteem by leaders.

When a person is engaged, dedication to their craft, desire to achieve, and relentless commitment to make a difference is palpable. You can see it, hear it, and feel it…and it is contagious!

My men are my money.

All employees have an innate desire to contribute to something bigger than themselves.

It is never an idea, technology, market forces, or access to capital that makes a company innovative. What differentiates an innovative company from an average company is the people working inside the company.

The space between meeting a stranger and making a new friend can be a short distance or a gaping chasm. By understanding how to open a conversation well, you will be better able to bridge the gaps and build rapport more successfully.

Your tone of voice is less about what you say and more about how you say it. It enhances or diminishes the language you use, how you construct your sentences, and the way your words sound. It represents the emotional expressions of your thoughts, feelings, and attitude.

It is generally believed that nearly 40 percent of your first impression will be set from the tone of your voice. Your vocal thermometer can be more impactful than the actual words you use.

Your tone of voice can be conveyed in both the words you speak and in the words you write.

Your tone can represent the character of your business, the strength of your resolve, and express the depths of your convictions.

Does your tone match your intention? Is your tone of voice confusing or clarifying? Are you coming across to others as you had hoped? Once you begin to notice your tone, you can adjust as needed to make it work in your favor.

Heed Your Speed. Are you a fast or a slow talker? Be mindful towards the person with whom you are speaking to ensure that your message is being comprehended, understood, and absorbed. If they are listening at a slower rate than you are speaking, disconnect can occur.

As a professional speaker, I speak rather quickly with enthusiastic energy and emotion. This doesn’t always sit well with people who like to speak at a slower pace and need more time to process. What I have learned through years in this profession is that to be more effective I must adapt my pace to the comfort level of my audience. When I am speaking to academics, engineers, and doctors, I speak with a slower pace than the one which I use with sales people, customer services teams, or teenagers.

Align your voice value with the tone, pace, and pitch of your listeners will help you connect on all levels.

Have you ever paid notice to the full sound range of your voice? If you have ever been in a chorus or a singing group, you already know that they will separate the group based on each singer’s pitch and assign their roles accordingly. While my speaking voice has a soprano pitch, my singing voice is a lower alto.

A high-pitched voice may sound less authoritative, more youthful, and less experienced, whereas, a lower pitched voice may be perceived as being more authoritative, confident, and credible. It is unfortunate that listeners will make assumptions based on these differences before even knowing the depth and value of your message. Play with your ranges and find a comfortably low pitch. Practice it to see if it makes a difference in conveying more authority and brilliance.

When your speaking style is clear, confident, and concise, your listeners will perceive you as such.

Developing your eloquence and enunciation will reduce the likelihood of misinterpretation and misunderstanding, making your delivery more powerful.

By speaking in a competent and confident way, your message will sound more relevant and appropriate, reflecting you in a favorable light.

Variety is the Spice of Life. Voices come in all shapes, tones, and sizes. Some are compelling and effective, while others are grating and agitating.

Your Signature Sound. In music, voice value is categorized for singers, composers, and listeners. Whether a performer’s voice type is soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, or bass, they all have unique characteristics that make them unique and impressive. You, too, have a signature sound that is uniquely yours and makes you stand apart from the crowd.

Neen James (NeenJames.com) is an eloquent and successful international speaker who stands at four-feet-eleven with a rich Australian dialect and a high-pitched voice. For years, fellow speakers with good intentions told her she needed to take voice lessons to lower her pitch to give her more depth for a compelling stage presence. With complete confidence and loyalty to her uniqueness, she ignored the naysayers and her amazing signature voice has become a powerful brand.

Most people are familiar with the rich, resonant tones of James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman. Their signature voices bring strength, authority, and lyrical enjoyment. Are there aspects of your voice that you can capitalize on to make a great impression and be simply unforgettable?

Think of the times that others remembered your name and used it kindly. How did it make you feel? When you use someone’s name it makes him or her feel recognized, appreciated, and special.

A Sign of Respect. As our world grows more casual, we observe a tendency for everyone to use first names rather than surnames. “It is a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Young,” has a completely different connotation than “Nice to meet you, Susan.

What determines whether the usage is acceptable or inappropriate? If you want to make a great first impression with positive impact, it is essential that you know there is a difference.

Using titles such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, Dr., etc. demonstrates respect. In previous generations, it was a social necessity and simply good manners. One would consider you rude and uncultured if you were so presumptuous as to go straight to a “first name basis.” First names can imply an intimacy that does not exist and it may offend a new person until they know you better. Be wary of making assumptions.

I was raised in an era when part of respecting your elders was to call them by Mr. or Mrs. When my children were growing up, an occasional child would call me Susan. It was jarring, felt disrespectful, and I did not like it. We reached a mutual agreement and their friends began calling me Ms. Susan. Perhaps this is more prevalent in the South, however, your awareness and consideration can help prevent social missteps.

It is wise to use titles for people in positions of power, higher education, seniority, or maturity, unless otherwise instructed. This may sound old-fashioned, but practicing respectful traditions will earn you points and inevitably make you seem more cultured and sophisticated. This is especially true with older generations.

To call certain people, such as your boss, teachers, professors, doctors, your parent’s friends, etc. by their first names might be considered disrespectful. It is best to err on the side of caution until you know what is appropriate.

Asking permission to call someone by their first name is a gesture of gentility and consideration. And once permission is granted, the gate is open for mutual respect and mutual purpose. Simply demonstrating this courtesy before making an assumption is impressive. Once permission is granted, you have earned points on both sides.

Make It Fun. Have you ever been publicly acknowledged or called upon in a room filled with people? Depending on your personality type, it can be either exhilarating or mortifying. It certainly does grab your attention, as well as everyone else’s!

When I am working with groups of thirty or fewer people, there is a powerful name exercise that I do to break the ice, start with humor, and begin my program with positive energy. One by one, each person will introduce themselves using an adjective that describes their personality that starts with the first letter of their name. “Spontaneous Susan,” “Dependable Dave,” and “Happy Helen” are a few quick examples. The benefit for the participants is twofold: it makes each person feel good and it makes people laugh. Additionally, it enables me to learn their names so that I can integrate them into the entire presentation for full engagement and participation.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same. You wanna be where everybody knows your name.

Every time you speak, you are using your voice to connect with others, whether it is in-person, on the phone, or in a recorded message.

Is your voice value delivering the image you wish to convey? Is your voice coming across as smart, friendly, and positive or ignorant, rude, and negative?

The way you deliver the words you say becomes your “vocal image. This "vocal image" can make or break your first impressions, impact your communication, and determine how people respond to you.

What can you do to ensure that your voice value translates into impression value?

Every professional voice coach worth their salt will bring you back to the importance of tone, pace, and pitch. While these concepts were introduced earlier in The Art of Body Language section, we can now elaborate and take a deeper dive into how you can use your voice to improve your communications.

Being grounded in your lifelong culture and your personal perspective, you are comfortable with the way you see things and may believe it is the best and only way.

Sociologically speaking, as Americans we often lack social, cultural, and mindful awareness. We hear the stories of how our arrogance has been known to offend, confuse, and alienate people from other cultures. Arrogance is the thief of mindfulness and it happens from both directions.

To gain greater understanding, clarity, and awareness, you must become aware of your values and beliefs. Think of a triangle or an iceberg. Below the waterline, your beliefs and your values build the foundation for your behavior.

We will judge others based on their behaviors with little to no understanding or regard for their beliefs or values—standards we may not know, nor typically see. When we do this, things can be taken completely out of context because we are assessing their behavior against our expectations, which are produced from our own personal value system.

Navigating relationships within our own culture can be challenging enough. When diverse cultures are involved, however, a huge potential for misunderstanding, disrespect, miscommunication, and intolerance is present.

It is crucial to understand that there are myriad interpretations of behavior. When you subscribe only to yours, you may begin to think that everyone else is wrong and thus limit your flexibility and possibility. Developing cultural awareness will make your diverse relationships easier and more productive.

Prepare yourself well by learning how to be more mindful in each interaction. The effort you put forth to gain insight will empower you to make a better impression on others, while enriching your opportunities to build enlightened, trusted relationships.

Conversation starters. Icebreakers. Openers. However you choose to label them, that moment when the first words come out of your mouth can make or break the outcome of your entire conversation. Been there, done that, right?

Your first words will not only shape your first impression, they can create amazing connections, lead you to your dream job, or help you discover a new best friend—or accomplish exactly the opposite.

Your first words will outlive your conversations and impact how you are remembered, liked, or regarded. Wouldn’t you enjoy opening conversations with ease and mutual recognition? The challenging part is that it can be . . . awkward!

Meeting someone for the first time has significance, but for some people, the awkwardness can be so great that they avoid a conversation altogether. The person who may be shy, introverted, or afraid of sounding stupid may just choose to remain silent rather than take the risk of engaging in embarrassing dialogue.

You can certainly take the easy road and use the predictable and boring defaults like:• How are you doing?• How about this weather?• What do you do for a living?• Hi. My name is _________. What’s yours?• Blah, blah, blah, blah . . .Break out of the defaults you have been using for years. Shake it up. Make it fun. Make it memorable. Dive in with more engagement and interaction. Taking the initiative to be more creative will help you build a bridge to close the gap.

How do you minimize the awkwardness in that moment? What are some of the conversations starters you've used to open, encourage, and support enjoyable and beneficial conversations?

10 Conversation Bridge Builders1. Simply say hello with a smile.2. Ask them what they love about their work.3. Ask natural questions out of genuine curiosity. 4. Get a person talking about what’s important to them.5. Compliment something positive which you’ve noticed.6. Engage them with questions which are easy to answer. 7. Introduce them to someone whom you think they’ll enjoy meeting.8. Ask them if they have any trips or vacations planned.9. Look for something you may have in common so that the conversation begins with shared interests.10. Think of questions that begin with how, what, when, why and where.

Add a fresh twist of creativity to make a stellar impression which people won’t soon forget. Granted, your venue will determine how far you can stretch and how creative you can be. Making small tweaks to your conversation starters can make a memorable impact!

14 Awesome Conversation Starters1. What do you do for fun? Hobbies, recreation . . . 2. What are your super powers? Gifts, talents, strengths.3. Good morning! It’s great to see you! 4. What is your story? Tell me about yourself.5. What brought you to __________?6. Do you have anything special happening in your life (or your business)?7. What’s the best thing that’s happened this week?8. Are you living your life purpose or still searching for it?9. What gives you passion and makes you happy to be alive?10. Do you have any pets?11. How do you know the host?12. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 13. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?14. What's next on your bucket list?

Speaking on StageSpeakers and presenters have only a few short seconds before their audience members begin forming opinions. True professionals know that beginning with impact determines audience engagement, the energy in the room, positive feedback, the quality of the experience, and whether or not their performance will be a success. A few of the popular methods which you can use to break the ice from the stage are:• Using music.• Using quotes.• Telling a joke.• Citing statistics.• Showing a video.• Asking questions.• Stating a problem.• Sharing acronyms.• Sharing a personal story.• Laying down a challenge.• Using analogies and comparisons.• Taking surveys; raise your hand if . . . Once you refine, define, and discover great conversation starters, you will enjoy renewed confidence for communicating well with new people.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be a natural communicator and know exactly what, when, why, and how to speak so that your message is conveyed and received as you intend?

Communicating negatively (gossiping, bragging, bullying, and criticizing) can be disastrous to your reputation, cause you to lose the respect of others, and leave a terrible impression. Why leave this essential expertise up to chance when it can make or break the success of your relations?

The Art of Communication shares insights to help you communicate with a higher awareness and focused intention and meet people on their level to increase clarity and understanding.

When you begin conversations with confidence and listen attentively, you will become more flexible and adaptable in most any situation.

Mindfulness means paying attention to what is happening at this very moment and being keenly aware of your surroundings and the people in it.

Whether your awareness is focused on your own emotions and perceptions or directed toward the preferences, needs, and feelings of others, being mindful (aware and attentive) will enable you to respond more appropriately.

This deliberate focus and sensitivity allow you to "put yourself in another person’s shoes and walk around a while" to better understand where they are coming from and what they are all about.

Mindfulness is a quiet strength and deeply rooted value which many other cultures understand and often practice better than we do. It can be puzzling to people from other countries as to why Americans are so task-driven and action-oriented.

Developing this ability instills a sixth sense for navigating human relationships with dignity, grace, and discretion, thus making an intentional and thoughtful first impression.

As Americans, we typically move full steam ahead without much regard to mindfulness or thoughtful reflection, often to one’s own detriment. Yet it is that same propensity for bold action which makes fulfilling the "American Dream" possible—where an immigrant can come to our country with nothing and achieve extraordinary things.

Although it may serve you well, any strength or skill which is overused can become a limitation when it forces you to constantly be moving and looking for the next best thing. Distractions, interruptions, and incessantly chasing after the next golden ring can become the norm.

Your encounters will be more successful when you slow down, pay attention, and become more mindfully aware of the world around you. Heightening your awareness in your social, situational, contextual, orientational, and cultural scenarios will improve your agility as you adapt to new social settings.

With your mind alert and your eyes wide open, you will be better able to assess your space and your place for optimizing exchanges and your communication impressions.

Becoming more socially aware involves greater understanding of the dynamics of social interactions to assure you achieve harmonious outcomes.

When you are socially aware, you will realize whether you are forcing yourself into a conversation or have actually been invited to participate.

Sometimes you must earn the right to be included. Otherwise, you may appear awkward or pushy.

When a person is focused completely on self it is nearly impossible to be mindful of others at the same time. That is a contradiction for healthy communication, networking, and relationship building.

Sometimes it is better to refrain from engaging in conversation because making no impression is better than making a bad impression.

When people can't give anything and are only there for themselves, why should others use their time and energy to get involved? There's no benefit.

Do you attend networking events to give out as many cards as possible or is it your intention to deliver something of value? When you are busy charging ahead with your own agenda, you're not meeting the needs of anyone but yourself—and it's obvious!

At a Chamber of Commerce networking breakfast, two of my friends and I were standing in a circle talking. A stranger approached, interrupted our little reunion, and gave each of us her card. She then began talking about herself and her business without a hint of social awareness, or care about her interruption. She even had the tactless gall to ask us for referrals. When she left our small circle, we looked at each other and laughed, “What was that?

Situational awareness enables you to observe your periphery with a clear vision and emotional foresight, which may inevitably keep you socially, physically, or professionally out of harm's way. Connect the dots.

When you enter a room, a social situation, or a business meeting, be mindful of cues; read between the lines to better understand people and events. What do these things tell you?

How do you know when to advance the conversation or when there's something still unresolved? When you are situationally aware, you watch the body language and notice the cues that are given to you. Listening and observing are being mindful in the best sense of the word.

Being “appropriate” means being suitable, fitting, relevant, or proper in a situation. What may be appropriate in one circumstance can be terribly inappropriate in another. How does one discern? Sometimes it is simply a matter of maturity and experience.

Contextual awareness represents a continuum of behaviors, which illustrates how and why groups of people unite or divide among cultures.

When you have orientational awareness, your perceptions and impressions are based on location and proximity. Orientation may imply hierarchy, position, and prestige, or be the result of habits, traditions, and perceptions.

In America, when a man walks in front of a woman it may imply that they are not equals and he is exerting dominance over her, or being arrogant and rude. In a different culture, however, it may be presumed that he is someone worthy of profound respect and is protecting her by going first.

On a recent business trip, I reunited with a friend I had not seen in twenty years. After having a lovely lunch meeting, we came out of the restaurant to walk towards the parking lot. He automatically moved me to the inside of the sidewalk as he walked along the curbside. His orientational awareness illustrated a chivalrous gesture of protection and respect which impressed me greatly.

Our cultural lens is so much a part of us that we are not even aware of how obvious it is to others. Like the nose on your face, you may forget that it is there, but everyone else sees it. I can’t look at you and not see your nose.

Being 100 percent in the moment and focusing on the person you’re with is one of the finest compliments you can offer. One of the most respectful and considerate things you can do for another is to truly be with them in the here and now.

Employee Engagement“Employee Engagement” has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup Polls’ “The State of the American Workforce” survey found that only 32.5 percent of the U.S. Workforce is engaged and committed where they work, and 54 percent say they would consider leaving their companies if they could receive a 20 percent raise elsewhere. Disengagement not only lowers performance, morale, and productivity, but it’s costing employers billions of dollars a year. It's a growing problem, which has many companies baffled.

Why is this disengagement epidemic becoming the new norm? A few reasons I have witnessed in speaking with companies across the country include . . .• Information overload• Distractions• Stress/overwhelmed• Apathy/detachment• Short attention span• Fear, worry, anxiety• Rapidly changing technology• Entitlement• Poor leadership• Preoccupation• Social media• Interruptions• Multitasking• Budget cuts• Exhaustion• Boredom• Conflict• Social insecurity• Lack of longevityThese challenges not only create separation and work dysfunction, but we are seeing it happen in relationships and personal interactions.

When you are fully present and engaged in your workplace, you will demonstrate that you care about the success of your organization, are a team player, have a can-do attitude, and will go the extra mile to fulfill and exceed expectations.

These qualities make a great impression on your boss, your teams, and your customers. You will be more respected, noticed, and appreciated in the process. As your own "CEO of Self," projecting this positive level of engagement furthers your own personal reputation and interests for healthy communication, networking, and positive first impressions. An added bonus is that YOU will receive great benefits from putting forth this type of effort. Whether it be self-esteem, new training, cooperation, experience, or a raise or bonus, the rewards are extensive and many.

11 Ways to Be More Engaged 1. Care about others.2. Be 100 percent in the moment. 3. Keep focus on the person you are serving. 4. Try to get involved, engaged, and interactive.5. Show interest in what matters to other people by listening, acknowledging, and responding.6. Arrive in the moment anticipating creating a valuable interaction for yourself and others.7. Move towards the things that inspire you and provide a sense of joy and connection.8. Reconnect with the essence of yourself and be grounded in that essential relationship.9. Maintain eye contact and deliver the non-verbal cues that you are fully with the other person.10. Limit distractions— close the door, silence your phone, hold calls, put tasks aside, etc.11. Show up to the moment being your best and giving your best.

Just be Nice. Nice—this little word has a big meaning. Use it generously. Being nice helps people feel emotionally safe, allowing for more authentic, trusting, and happy interactions.

Be Brave. Bravery takes fortitude—put yourself on the line, even if you risk failing, falling, being embarrassed, or looking stupid—if being brave were easy, more people would be. Just try it!

Manners Matter. Courteous behavior is the hallmark of healthy relations and human interaction. Manners ensure you will be more respected, admired, and appreciated. Thank you!

Polish the Gold. Be an optimist; look for the best in others, the best in situations, and focus on what is working rather than what is not. It's golden!

Service Beyond Self. Value others; have a heart of service and generosity. Rise above self-interest. Ask what you can do for others, not what they can do for you.

Take the Initiative. Be proactive. If you want to rock your relationship results, it is going to take action, effort, initiative, and choosing to get in the game—so, step up, step out, and show up!

Mix, Mingle, Glow. Stretch beyond your own comfort zone to speak with, sit with, and start conversations with people whom you do not know. Take the initiative to help other people capture the spotlight and shine.

Communication is the soul of all relationships. More than any other skill, it is the heartbeat of success in sales, marketing, marriage, business, friendship, communities, and beyond.

Since we are all unique and individual, being cognizant of different personality styles will help you better recognize where others are coming from to minimize barriers, build trust, and catapult your newfound communication skills into meaningful connections. The savvy socializer knows this all.