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You know how sometimes when you're drifting off to sleep you feel that jolt, like you were falling and caught yourself at the last second? It's nothing to be concerned about, it's usually just the parasite adjusting its grip.

David Wong , em This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It
sleep falling parasite david-wong never-sleep-again spider-monsters

Amy said, "So, you're making a flamethrower?""Amy, we gotta be prepared. We don't know what we'll find in that place, but for all we know it could be the Devil himself.""David, what possible good is that thing gonn

David Wong , em John Dies at the End
girls the-devil-himself david-wong amy-sullivan flamethrowers

I wrapped up the remaining half burrito and tossed it into the trash can. Molly watched this act of wastefulness with an expression like she had just seen her entire family die in a fire.

David Wong , em This Book Is Full of Spiders
tragedy dogs wastefulness david-wong burritos molly-the-dog

But in those first hours after you take it, your brain is tuned in like nothing you can imagine. Eyes like the Hubble telescope, sensing light that's not even on the spectrum. You might be able to read minds, make time stop, cook pasta that's exactly right every time.

David Wong
humor surrealism drugs pasta david-wong john-dies-at-the-end soy-sauce surrealist

Your 'let's remain calm and stay put' speech would be a lot more convincing if you weren't giving it in front of a pile of burning skeletons.

David Wong , em This Book Is Full of Spiders
speech convincing skeletons david-wong burning-skeletons pile-of-skeletons remain-calm

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