Why do people always assume that volume will succeed when logic won’t? - Damon

Come on, it’s an American tradition. Apple soup? Mom’s homemade chicken pie?' She chuckled in spite of herself, then winced. 'It’s apple pie and Mom’s homemade chicken soup. But you didn’t do badly, for a start.

Yeah, tell me I’m a bottle of single malt scotch, she thought. That’s the way to my heart.

And just then Damon stepped out of the coat closet, and at the same time Aunt Maggie tripped him neatly and said, “Bathroom door beside you,” and picked up a vase and hit the rising Damon over the head with it. Hard.

All I know is that right now I wanna rip your clothes off right here in the middle of this hall and throw you in one of these classrooms and kiss every square inch of your body, while a bunch of people who drive minivans listen wishing they were us.

Very touching," said a voice from the stairway. "Do you want me to imitate a violin?" - Damon

It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore