An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need.

Your vile and bitter diatribes only serve to show how vile and bitter you must be.

I try to make my comments like a woman's skirt: long enough to be respectable and short enough to be interesting.

Keep an eye on your responses. Strong responses are about you more than them.

We all have sinned so far in our lives and might continue too but still we all love talking about others sins, Elaborating, exaggerating, laughing, commenting, cursing... And we all enjoy it hahaha

Anyone that says his mind will be probably regarded a fool, but the true artist is not moved by the comments about the looks of his painting or remarks that are dreadfully sarcastic, but hearken now! That he who says what others want to hear hasn't said anything of his own.

A deaf and dumb in the mist of morons is a renowed talkative among brains.

Cool posts and kind comments make friends. Think about others online. NetworkEtiquette.net

When the weaver bird flies, nobody talks; when the busy bee flies, no one will make comments... But when a human being begins to fly, you begin to hear talks in the town such as "abomination!... where did he get the wings from?". Never mind! Your dreams are your wings, so decide to fly!

A quote is not a conversation, but an invitation to change your perspective.

...here's what I've learned - people will hurt you, but you don't have to respond - not every mean comment or cruel act deserves to be noticed ...

Had she any respect for him at all, his words would've affected her. But no value accompanies comments spewed from the mouth of a brute.

Comments outnumber ideas.

No Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.

One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best.

Only two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.

Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.

The blind man is laughing at the bald head.

The net of the sleeper catches fish.

There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Worthless as wither'd weeds.

You must lose a fly to catch a trout.

Rip van Winkle was lazy.

A diplomat these days is nothing but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.

A man surprised is half beaten.

A nimble sixpence is better than a slow shilling.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Every path has its puddle.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Evil spelled backward is live.

Forgetting of a wrong is a mild revenge.

He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.

Heat madam! It was so dreadful that I found there was nothing for it but to take off my flesh and sit in my bones.

I am an atheist. I don't believe in Zeus.

I don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't know much about being a millionaire but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

I never said "I want to be alone." I only said "I want to be left alone." There is all the difference.

In baiting a mousetrap with cheese always leave room for the mouse.

In the ant's house the dew is a flood.

India is a geographical term. It is no more a United Nation than the Equator.

Judas needed the money for a sick friend.

Judge Crater - please call your office.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.

He wouldn't give a duck a drink if he owned Lake Michigan.

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband.

Kiss principle: Keep it simple stupid.

His shortcoming is his long staying.

He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Sherard Blaw the dramatist who had discovered himself and who had given so unstintingly of his discovery to the world.

The Right Honourable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts.

Angels fly because they take themselves lightly.

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Epigram: a wisecrack that has played Carnegie Hall.

Include me out.

A hole is nothing at all but you can break your neck in it.

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

In uplifting get underneath.

If there were any justice in the world people would be able to fly over pigeons for a change.

When the mouse laughs at the cat there's a hole nearby.

Fatigue is the best pillow.

The ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now if I was a grave digger or even a hangman there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

When Babe Ruth was asked in 1930 how he felt about making more money that the President of the United States he replied 'I had a better year than he (Herbert Hoover) did.' When Tom Snyder was asked in 1977 how he felt about making more money per year than President Carter he replied 'I have to go out and buy my own 707.'

Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.

In California everyone goes to a therapist is a therapist or is a therapist going to a therapist.

We also serve who only punctuate.

Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg.

If Roosevelt were alive he'd turn in his grave.

There's a wonderful family called Stein There's Gert and there's Epp and there's Ein: Gert's poems are bunk Epp's statues are junk And no one can understand Ein.

Automatic simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

A thick skin is a gift from God.

While you're saving your face you're losing your ass. Never trust a man whose eyes are too close to his nose. I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket. Better inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in.

Parsely is gharsley.

Oats n.s. A grain which in England is generally given to horses but in Scotland supports the people.

Coffee in England is just toasted milk.

A dimple in the chin a devil within.

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

The butler entered the room a solemn procession of one.

If I look like this I need the trip.

As old as the itch.

Early to bed early to rise work like hell and advertise.

Tis better than riches To scratch when it itches.

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg and he is trying to run away it is best to let him run.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

All would live long but none would be old.

Bland as a Jesuit sober as a hymn.

I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception.

In the world of mules there are no rules.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

I used to be snow-white . . . but I drifted.

It's better to be quotable than to be honest.

A man of words and not of deeds Is like a garden full of weeds.

I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practise law.

An indecent mind is a perpetual feast.

If you can't bite don't show your teeth.

Only the shallow know themselves.

I had always assumed that cliche was a suburb of Paris until I discovered it to be a street in Oxford.

He'd give the devil ulcers.

When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better.

Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't put his pants on.

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.

Her face was her chaperone.

When people don't want to come nothing will stop them.

More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.

Mother: It's broccoli dear. Child: I say it's spinach and I say the hell with it.

God made me on a morning when he had nothing else to do.

Nothing succeeds like one's own successor.

Epitaph to a waiter: By and by God caught his eye.

And what's a butterfly? At best He's but a caterpillar drest.

'Are you lost daddy?' I asked tenderly. 'Shut up ' he explained.

Geography is about maps But biography is about chaps.

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves.

Equal opportunity is good but special privilege even better.

Shake a bridle over a Yorkshireman's grave and he'll rise and steal a horse.

Don't quote me that's what you heard not what I said.

Thin people are beautiful but fat people are adorable.