Reality continues to ruin my life.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.