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Edwyn can almost feel his testicles crawling up his ass.

Cornelius Moore , em The Club
fear stress worry testicles ass cornelius-moore edwyn the-club

There are four kinds of people to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.

Anthony Liccione
people shit idiots jerks ass brown-nose

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
humor disappointment joke humour funny insanity failure crazy insane humorous fail quotes bad bad-people fool satire loser stupid silly jokes jerk aphorism mad zombie nerd quotations dumb idiot bad-person psycho hilarious mentally-ill disturbed foolish rash reckless aphorisms nuts ignoramus unintelligent dolt idiotic thoughtless psychotic schizophrenic aphorist aphorists boob dunce turkey unwise goon daft foolhardy brainless goat sap thick ass dim crazed unbalanced mindless around-the-bend bananas batty bonkers crackers cuckoo demented deranged loco loony loopy mad-as-a-hatter non-compos-mentis not-all-there unhinged wacko airhead birdbrain blockhead bozo buggy bushed certifiable chowderhead chowderheaded chump clod coot crack-brained cracked crackpot cretin dead-loss dimwit dimwitted dingbat dipstick ditz donkey dope dork dud dullard dumb-ass dumb-cluck dumbhead dumbo dumdum dummy dunderhead fathead flake galoot goober goof goofball goofus half-baked halfwit halfwitted harebrained ill-advised ill-considered imbecile impolitic imprudent incautious informal-no-hoper injudicious jughead klutz lamebrain lummox meatball mentally-disordered moron nincompoop ninny nitwit numbnuts numbskull of-unsound-mind pea-brained peabrain putz schlemiel schlep schmuck screwy simpleton stark-raving-mad thickhead twerp twit underachiever unstable witless wooden-headed write-off

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
humor joke humour funny fitness humorous weight cut diet satire jokes aphorism exercise butts gym hilarious leg chest fit muscles muscle tone lift aphorisms calves legs aphorist aphorists cheat-day workout diet-plan diet-plans weights arse ass bum bums arses asses bench-press butt buttock buttocks calf chests leg-day legs-day rear-end shut-up-and-squat squat squats toned

Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass.

M.F. Moonzajer
girls humor women funny shower balls ass

Everything is about disclosure.... chemistry... love.... reaction... you can't do anything.......A pain... a biatch... pain the ass... two women... what next?

Deyth Banger
women pain two dexter ass biatch

Art can blow us out of our pigeon hole. In deafness it may shout or scream, in blindness it may arrest our attention, in numbness it may shake up our mind. If we don’t sense anything at all and take everything for granted, art can kick us in the ass, give a conscience and make us aware. ("When is Art?")

Erik Pevernagie
art mind sense blindness attention conscience arrest aware take-for-granted blow numbness scream deafness ass kick shout nothing-at-all pigeon-hole shake-up

My heart can see the ass in you.

Sudheer Reddy
love heart ass

What the hell was that?” he asked no-one in particular. “Did they ram us?”“Uh – negative, sir.” Marnetti offered, reading an instrumental assessment from his display, “It seems we were hit by some kind of pulse wave generated by their jump.”“Their jump? – You mean by arriving they nearly killed us?”Marnetti nodded, continuing, “Range 0.5 kilometers, Captain. Holding steady. No recognized weapons activity.”“Damage report.” He ordered, feeling his way back into his seat, eyes glued to the viewscreen.“Shield 2 down, 1 is buckling.” Pluddeman choked.“Power stable, all systems holding steady,” Marnetti added, now rubbing some bruises.“Any communications?”“Nothing, sir. Static on all frequencies.”“What are they doing?”“Nothing, sir. Waiting maybe.”“Waiting, my ass!” Dayne barked. “They must be sizing us up!

Christina Engela , em Space Sucks!
waiting hell power doing negative nothing jump communications shield damage killed activity captain bruises steady ass particular ram barked choked marnetti sizing viewscreen

The ass is the face of the soul of sex.

Charles Bukowski
sex bukowski charles-bukowski ass butt notes-of-a-dirty-old-man

Are you going to spank me, daddy? I'm a very bad girl! (bending over naked)"Oh yeah daddy - spank my ass harder!!!

Alanah Skye
sex incest naked young-love fucking daughter mommy spanking little-girl ass old-young daddy-loves-his-girls daddy-s-girl jailbait nymphomaniac preteens spanking-girls

I'm not a religious man, but I do worship your ass.

Randi Black , em The Light of the World
love sex lust ass

Sitting to think of what to write will only set your ass on fire, give you headache, twist your face to look stupid, instead, walk around with a blank mind and something from somewhere will fill it up.

Michael Bassey Johnson
inspiration madness thoughts magic thought insanity writing writers michael-bassey-johnson muse creativity writer contemplation brain thinking head ponder ideas idea intuition boredom ennui clever pondering muses blank heat headache musings ass arson creative-thoughts ruminate rumination

Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there.

M.F. Moonzajer , em LOVE, HATRED AND MADNESS
happiness sadness funny ass hairs

I tagged your ass the other night," I said, "while you were sleeping- and you liked it.""Really? I thought it was a dream." "It was. A WET one.

Giorge Leedy , em Uninhibited From Lust To Love
dream gay night wet gay-romance liked ass gay-romance-erotica tagged wet-dream

When the world kicks your ass, don't step in line.book: stuff i think about

Sondra Faye
self-esteem helplessness underdog understanding-oneself-and-others feminist-quotes ass self-esteem-self-help-book

The reason why a man cannot stop staring at a woman ass is only because God has spent 80 percent of his time and efforts on woman ass and 20 percent on her entire body.

M.F. Moonzajer , em LOVE, HATRED AND MADNESS
god funny woman body staring ass

I've found that busting your ass on a daily basis to make your art good, clear, and meaningful creates the most luck.

Don Roff
inspiration work art success do purpose writing good succeed every-day luck daily writing-process create meaningful just-do-it make basis clear lucky perspiration ass bust

Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.

William Shakespeare , em The Complete Works
humor pride humility shakespeare bragging ass braggart all-s-well-that-ends-well parroles

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

John Kennedy Toole , em A Confederacy of Dunces
absurd attitude contempt sheep satire hilarious curmudgeon intellectual pompous ass meatsacks mouthbreathers pronouncements

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

Mark Twain
live author years ass

You can't say asses in church unless you are speaking of donkeys.

Allan Dare Pearce , em Paris in April
church ass asses donkeys

Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana
kiss pretense employment employee salary employer ass

Save your ass, give my ass.... what a friend you are...

Deyth Banger
friend give you what are a ass

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

Dave Matthes , em Sleepeth Not, the Bastard
humor erotica erotic-romance comedy hair hilarious bastard ass booze conditioner

Someday, I’ll gain telepathic powers like every other regular movie ghost and I will go all Freddie Krueger on his bony, little, rat arse!”I rolled my eyes, but kept marching down the street.“Then I’d have to go all Ghostbusters on yours.”, I tried to keep my voice low to keep from drawing attention to myself.“No, you wouldn’t. You love my arse, darling!”, he walked backwards few feet in front of me.His big smile was enough to make me grin and roll my eyes again at him.

Tia Artemis , em The Death's Daughter
ghosts scotland scottish movie-reference arse ass

I'm the perfect girl. You read about me in Maxim or whatever. I tell dirty jokes like I'm one of the guys, and I'm sitting there in my panties and bra so you can see I'm a piece of ass in the bargain. Except I'm real, so I come with all kinds of complications.

Garth Ennis , em The Boys, Volume 9: The Big Ride
real complications bargain bra panties ass dirty-jokes perfect-girl

Gotta love a woman that can hand you your own ass.

Penelope Douglas , em Until You
challenge tough-love ass

Three year in prison and a dick is just another thing to put up your ass.

Marlon James , em A Brief History of Seven Killings
jail prison dick penis ass butt cock

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