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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

Will Cuppy
humor animals humorous apes mammals primates

Television's perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are watching the bubbles in the primeval ooze. You don't have to concentrate. You don't have to react. You don't have to remember. You don't miss your brain because you don't need it. Your heart and liver and lungs continue to function normally. Apart from that, all is peace and quiet. You are in the man's nirvana. And if some poor nasty minded person comes along and says you look like a fly on a can of garbage, pay him no mind. He probably hasn't got the price of a television set.

Raymond Chandler
philosophy humor television apes raymond-chandler chandler ooze

He did not know that the Old One was his father, for such a relationship was utterly beyond his understanding, but as he looked at the emaciated body he felt a dim disquiet that was the ancestor of sadness.

Arthur C. Clarke , em 2001: A Space Odyssey
death sadness science apes ancestor

It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey

Karl Pilkington , em The Ricky Gervais Show - First, Second and Third Seasons
writing animals publishing apes monkeys publication

But once an original book has been written-and no more than one or two appear in a century-men of letters imitate it, in other words, they copy it so that hundreds of thousands of books are published on exactly the same theme, with slightly different titles and modified phraseology. This should be able to be achieved by apes, who are essentially imitators, provided, of course, that they are able to make use of language.

Pierre Boulle , em Planet of the Apes
books writing language apes imitation theme

Some people will bring up evolutionary biology and apes, how female apes bow to male apes - that sort of thing. But the point is this: we are not apes. Apes also live in trees and eat earthworms. We do not.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
feminism evolution apes

For my own part I would as soon be descended from that heroic little monkey, who braved his dreaded enemy in order to save the life of his keeper; or from that old baboon, who, descending from the mountains, carried away in triumph his young comrade from a crowd of astonished dogs—as from a savage who delights to torture his enemies, offers up bloody sacrifices, practices infanticide without remorse, treats his wives like slaves, knows no decency, and is haunted by the grossest superstitions.

Charles Darwin , em The Descent of Man
humanity sacrifice humans superstition slavery man belief evolution torture apes ape preference great-apes great-ape

Interestingly, bonobo percussionists prefer a tempo of 280 beats per minute, the syllabic rate at which most humans speak.

Dr Susan Block
learning humans genius apes primates musicians drums bonobo percussion

Hair on a man's chest is thought to denote strength. The gorilla is the most powerful of bipeds and has hair on every place on his body except for his chest.

Anton Szandor LaVey
animals man hair apes gorillas

No existing form of anthropoid ape is even remotely related to the stock which has given rise to man.

Henry Fairfield Osborn
humans man evolution science biology apes primates homo-sapiens relation human-evolution anthropoid

Hominids are all the Neanderthals, australopithecines, Homohabili, Homo erecti, etc., the upright-walking apes of which we arethe only surviving species.

Joe Quirk , em It's Not You, It's Biology.: The Science of Love, Sex, and Relationships
human history apes anthropology hominids

We admit that we are like apes, but we seldom realize that we are apes.

Richard Dawkins , em A Devil's Chaplain: Reflections on Hope, Lies, Science, and Love
evolution apes

A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.

Jacob M. Appel , em Scouting for the Reaper
humor evolution science biology progress apes primates darwin evolutionary-biology primate scopes biologists scopes-monkey-trial moneys

My family tree spreads wide as well. I am a great ape, and you are a great ape, and so are chimpanzees and orangutans and bonobos, all of us distant and distrustful cousins.I know this is troubling.I too find it hard to believe there is a connection across time and space, linking me to a race of ill-mannered clowns.Chimps. There's no excuse for them.

Katherine Applegate , em The One and Only Ivan
humor family humour funny humans animals clowns apes relatives

Apes or human – we all made the same mistake, tempted by shifting leaves or the smell of sex, by music or a ripe banana.

Kathryn Davis , em Duplex
humans apes

Humans are unique in having the astonishing capacity to extend our sympathies far beyond the here and now. through time and space, to anywhere and anything we choose. It is our culture that decides how large and inclusive our moral circle is, but it is each of us who makes up our culture. (p.250)

Andrew Westoll
empathy caring animal-rights apes moral-responsibility

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