She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women.

That's a spiritual lifestyle, being willing to admit that you don't know everything and that you were wrong about some things. It's about making a list of all the people you've harmed, either emotionally or physically or financially, and going back and making amends. That's a spiritual lifestyle. It's not a fluffy ethereal concept.

Guilt can be a good thing. It's the soul's call to action. The indication that... something is wrong. The only way... to rid your heart of it... is to correct your mistakes and keep going... until amends are made.

Making amends is not only saying the words but also being willing to listen to how your behavior caused another’s pain, and then the really hard part…changing behavior.

I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do.

Any constituency that needs amending, is a prototype in error.

Now it's not just my lip you'll be needing to kiss if you're wishing to make amends with me, Irish.

I ponder the rhythms of letting go and embracing whatever is around the corner, trusting that the empty spaces will be filled. And knowing that sometimes community can happen only in the gaps where mystery resides.