Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

He had also learned that there is no use murdering people; there are always so many left, and if you tried to murder them all you would never get anything else done.

We all make mistakes, but intelligence enables us to do it on purpose.

Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.

Would it not be downright cruel to keep him in semi-captivity in a town or city, where the opportunities for wreaking havoc and destruction upon the landscape are necessarily so limited? In a word, is it right to attract Wombats?

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

You can't do much for the poor, as they are not in with the right people.

A few alligators are naturally of the vicious type and inclined to resent it when you prod them with a stick. You can find out which ones these are by prodding them.

There are 2,500 kinds of sponges, all of them consist largely of holes.

As llamas have never heard of oxygen, they do not miss it.

Infant wart hogs resemble both sides of the family.

If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.

Whales are silly once every two years. The young are called short-heads or baby blimps. Many whale romances begin in Baffin's bay and end in Procter and Gamble's factory, Staten Island.

Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.

Henry VIII had so many wives because his dynastic sense was very strong whenever he saw a maid of honour.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.