Holyfuckingmancandy.

She’d wanted Randall Parks from the moment her hormones kicked in. Her best friend, her guardian when things got rough, her knight in somewhat-rusted and dinged up armor—he wore many hats in her life and none more important than that of best friend.

Tugging her purse strap up on her arm, she headed for thedoor. “You have my cell number. I’ll text you. If something goeswrong and he pulls an axe, you’ll be the first person I call.”Michelle groaned. “See, this is why I worry. The first personyou call is the police. Then you call me and tell me the authorities areon their way and you’re hiding in a closet.”“Yeah, ancient wooden closet door versus axe? And you callme the illogical one?

He responded by tsking before he caught both wrists in one hand. His free hand reachedinto his back pocket. “Bianca, not everything is about sex.”Pulling out cuffs, he yanked her wrists above her head.“This is,” he added. “But not everything is.

Beautyisn’t all about tooth whiteners, hard abs, and hundred-dollar lipstick. Beauty isabout growing old together, remembering when together, laughing together. If mypicture disgusts you, fine. Go look at the faces of women who named a price youcan buy them for. I’m not the kind of woman who will ever be for sale, and shameon you for not expecting more from a woman, or from yourself.

It was no way to think about her best friend’s boyfriend. But every time she saw Andy, her body reacted. My gaydar is defective, she thought grimly.

Jeremy would be a handsome groom. He looked like a Ken doll come to life. Probably has thesame plastic lack of parts as his tiny counterpart.Did she mention that I probably brought her to more orgasms than your plastic junk couldever dream of giving her?

When you kissed me…I felt special.I never really felt like I deserved it.That isn’t your fault. That was me.When I looked down the aisle on our wedding day and you weren’t there, my first thought, as awful as this sounds, wasn’t, “Where is he?” it was, “Oh, it figures.