I have something I need to tell you," he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though.""That's sensible of you," I say, smiling too. "We should find some paper so you can make a list or a chart or something."I feel his laughter against my side, his nose sliding along my jaw, his lips pressing my ear."Maybe I'm already sure," he says, "and I just don't want to frighten you."I laugh a little. "Then you should know better.""Fine," he says. "Then I love you.

Then I realize what it is. It's him. Something about him makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.

I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.

I wonder if fears ever really go away, or if they just lose their power over us.

I belong to the people I love, and they belong to me--they, and the love and loyaty I give them, form my identity far more than any word or group ever could.

Okay. Then...I can talk. Ask me something.""Okay." He laughs shakily in my ear. "Why is your heart racing Tris?"I cringe and say, "Well, I...I barely know you. I barely know you and I'm crammed up against you in a box, Four, what do you think?"..."Maybe you were cut out for Candor," he says, "because you're a terrible liar.

Yeah, well," I say, "I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be.""That's not entirely true." He smiles at me. "That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect me-that selfless girl, that's not you?"..."You've been paying close attention, haven't you?""I like to observe people/""Maybe you were cut out for Candor, Four, because you're a terrible liar.

But when I do feel all the strength go out of me, and I fall to my knees beside the table and I think I cry, then, or at least I want to, and everything inside me screams for just one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more.

Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's fascinating." He releases me but doesn't pull away, his hand grazing my jaw, my neck. "Sometimes I just...want to see it again. Want to see you awake.

I love you" I say."I love you, too" he says. "I'll see you soon.

Wait a second," Four says. I turn toward him, wondering which version of Four I'll see now-the one who scolds me, or the one who climbs Ferris wheels with me. He smiles a little, but the smile doesn't spread to his eyes, which look less tense and worried."You belong here, you know that?" he says. "You belong with us. It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay?"He scratches behind his ear and looks away, like he's embarrassed by what he said. I stare at him. I feel my heartbeat everywhere, even in my toes. I feel like doing something bold, but I could just as easily walk away. I am not sure which option is smarter, or better. I am not sure that I care.I reach out and take his hand. His fingers slide between mine. I can't breathe. I stare up at him, and he stares down at me. For a long moment, we stay that way. Then I pull my hand away and run after Uriah and Lynn and Marlene. Maybe now he thinks I'm stupid, or strange. Maybe it was worth it.

I think you're still the only person sharp enough to sharpen someone like me.

We are not people who touch each other carelessly; every point of contact between us feels important, a rush of energy and relief.

I'll be your family now," he says. "I love you," I say. (....)He stares at me. I wait with my hands clutching his arms for stability as he considers his response. He frowns at me. "Say it again.""Tobias," I say, "I love you.

You will be the first test subject, Tobias. Beatrice, however...." She smiles. "You are too injured to be of much use to me, so your execution will occur at the conclusion of this meeting."I try to hide the shudder that goes through me at the word "execution," my shoulder screaming with pain, and look up at Tobias. It's hard to blink tears back when I see the terror in Tobias's wide, dark eyes."No," says Tobias. His voice trembles, but his look stern as he shakes his head. "I would rather die.""I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice in that matter," replies Jeanine lightly.Tobias takes my face in this hands roughly and kisses me, the pressure of his lips pushing mine apart. I forget my pain and the terror of approaching death and for a moment, I am grateful that the memory of that kiss will be fresh in my mind as I meet my end.

I regret..." Tobias tilts his head, and sighs. "I regret my choice.""What Choice?", and... I felt like maybe I could make something more of my decision."

Eric called Al's suicide brave, and he was wrong. My mother's death was brave. I remember how calm she was, how determined. It isn't just brave that she died for me; it is brave that she did it without announcing it, without hesitation, and without appearing to consider another option.

I feel like myself, strong and weak at once - allowed, at least for a little while, to be both.

No matter how long you train someone to be brave, you never know if they are or not until something real happens.

One ChoiceOne Choice, decided your friends.One Choice, defines your beliefs.One Choice, determines your loyalties - Forever.ONCE CHOICE CAN TRANSFORM YOU

The person you became with her is worth being.

Yeah, sometimes life really sucks," she says. "But you know what I'm holding on for?"I raise my eyebrows.She raises hers, too, mimicking me."The moments that don't suck," she says. "The trick is to notice them when they come around.

I pull my foot back again, but Four's hands clamp around my arms, and he pulls me away from her with irresistible force. I breathe through gritted teeth, staring at Molly's blood-covered face, the color deep and rich and beautiful, in a way. She groans, and I hear a gurgling in her throat, watch blood trickle from her lips. "You won," Four mutters. "Stop." I wipe the sweat from my forehead. He stares at me. His eyes too wide; they look alarmed. "I think you should leave," he says. "Take a walk." I'm fine," I say. "I'm fine now," I say again, this time for myself.I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did.I don't.

Because inside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom.. and as hard as I try, I cannot kill it.

Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, every one. We can’t escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other

We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don't want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest." He clears his throat. "I continually struggle with kindness.

Dead people can be our heroes because they cant disappoint us later; they only improve over time, as we forget more and more about them.

What did you do?” I mumble. He is just a few feet away from me now, but not close enough to hear me. As he passes me he stretches out his hand. He wraps it around my palm and squeezes. Squeezes, then lets go. His eyes are bloodshot; he is pale. “What did you do?” This time the question tears from my throat like a growl. I throw myself toward him, struggling against Peter’s grip, though his hands chafe. “What did you do?” I scream. “You die, I die too” Tobias looks over his shoulder at me. “I asked you not to do this. You made your decision. These are the repercussions.

To me, when someone wrongs you, you both share the burden of that wrongdoing - the pain of it weighs on both of you. Forgiveness, then, means choosing to bear the full weight all by yourself. Caleb's betrayal is something we both carry, and since he did it, all I've wanted is for him to take its weight away from me. I am not sure that I'm capable of shouldering it all myself - not sure that I am strong enough, or good enough.

Writing means not just staring ugliness in the face, but finding a way to embrace it.

Moths," repeats Will. "You're afraid of moths?" "Not just a cloud of moths," she says, "like...a swarm of them. Everywhere. All those wings and legs and..." She shudders and shakes her head."Terrifying," Will says with mock seriousness. "That's my girl. Tough as cotton balls.""Oh, Shut up.

Can you be a girl for a few seconds?""I'm always a girl" I frown."You know what I mean. Like a silly, annoying girl"I twirl my hair around my finger. "Kay.

Four flips the gun in this hand, presses the barrel to Peter's forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. Peter freezes with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth. "Wake. Up," Four snaps. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it.

What is it with you today?” says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face.“Oh, you know,” I say. “Sun shining. Birds chirping.”She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel.

We could visit him," suggests Will. "But what would we say? 'I didn't know you that well, but I'm sorry you got stabbed in the eye'?

I didn't know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.

Leaving us with Eric is like hiring a babysitter who spends his time sharpening knives.

What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have passed."Honestly?""Does now seem like the time for honesty?"I look at her from the corner of my eye. "I think they're going to force us to eat lots of cake and then take an unreasonably long nap.

You don’t believe things because they make your life better, you believe them because they’re true.

She has been to the compound before. She remembered this hallway. She knows about the initiation process. My mother was Dauntless.

It's hard to know what's right in this life,' she said. 'We do what we can, but what we really need is mercy. Do you know who taught me that?' A grin. 'You.'"P459

We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

I keep finding myself stifled by the company of others and then crippled by loneliness when I leave them. I am terrified and I don't even know of what, because I have lost everything already.

That is death - shifting from "is" to "was.

Il dolore aveva un suo modo di scomporre il tempo. Pensavo al minuto successivo, all'ora successiva. Non c'era abbastanza spazio nella mia mente per mettere insieme tutti quei pezzi, per trovare le parole per riassumerla nella sua interezza.Ma la parte dell'"andare avanti", per quella le parole le avevo.'Trova un modo per andare avanti' dissi. 'Non deve necessariamente essere buono, o nobile. Basta che sia un motivo.'Conoscevo il mio: c'era una fame dentro di me e c'era sempre stata. Una fame più forte del dolore, più forte dell'orrore. Continuava a mordere anche dopo che ogni altra cosa dentro di me si era arresa. E quando finalmente le diedi un nome, scoprii che era qualcosa di molto semplice: desiderio di vivere.

Want something else more than success. Success is a lovely thing, but your desire to say something, your worth, and your identity shouldn’t rely on it, because it’s not guaranteed and it’s not permanent and it’s not sufficient. So work hard, fall in love with the writing—the characters, the story, the words, the themes—and make sure that you are who you are regardless of your life circumstances. That way, when the good things come, they don’t warp you, and when the bad things hit you, you don’t fall apart.

I breathe in. The water will wash my wounds clean. I breathe out. My mother submerged me in water when I was a baby, to give me to God. It has been a long time since I thought about God, but I think about him now. It is only natural. I am glad, suddenly, that I shot Eric in the foot instead of the head.

Knowledge is power. Power to do evil...or power to do good. Power itself is not evil. So knowledge itself is not evil.

Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power, and that leads men into dark and empty places.

It's hard to know what's right in this life,' she said. 'We do what we can, but what we really need is mercy. Do you know who taught me that?' A grin. 'You.

...we have something they want. Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power, and that leads men into dark and empty places. We should be thankful that we know better.

It's strange how time can make a place shrink, make its strangeness ordinary.

Tris," he says. "What did they do to you? You're acting like a lunatic.""That's not very nice of you to say," I say. "They put me in a good mood, that's all. And now I really want to kiss you, so if you could just relax-

Be careful, though.""Aren't I always?""No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless.

People are supossed to aspire to become their fathers, not shudder at the thought.

I have to face the fear. I have to take control of the situation and find a way to make it less frightening.

I clench my teeth as tears come. I am fed up. I am fed up with tears and weakness. But there isn't much I can do to stop them. ~ 'Tris

Yeah, well, we're all afraid." I sighed. "The angry more than most, I think.

I miss the fears of the past few weeks, rendered small by my fears now.

Psyche you out?" I repeat. "I'm your FRIEND. I wouldn't do that." He doesn't say anything. I can tell he doesn't believe me-not quite.

Sometimes, all it takes to save people from a terrible faith is one person willing to do something about it. Even if that "something" is a fake bathroom break.

Now she looks pale and small, but her eyes make me think of wide- open skies that I have never actually seen, only dreamed of.

Freedom. He offered it like someone who didn't know what it meant, someone who had never had it taken away."pg 185

You're not very nice," I say, grinning."You're one to talk.""Hey, I could be nice if I tried.""Hmm." He taps his chin. "Say something nice, then.""You're very good-looking."He smiles, his teeth a flash in this dark. "I like this 'nice' thing.

It will be difficult to break the habits of thinking Abnegation instilled in me, like tugging a single thread from a complex work of embroidery. But I will find new habits, new thoughts, new rules. I will become something else.

Instead I take the lead, Tobias silent at my side, and though he does not touch me, he steadies me.

Human reason can excuse any evil.

The battle we are fighting is not against a particular group. It is against human nature - or at least what it has become.

I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamor of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this is free.

I could never hurt him enough to make his betrayal stop hurting. And it hurts, in every part of my body.

It isn’t right to wish pain on other people just because they hurt me first.

Hearing him talk about his mother, about his intact family, makes my chest hurt for a second, like someone pierced it with a needle.

Crying defies scientific explanation. Tears are only meant to lubricate the eyes. There is no real reason for tear glands to overproduce tears at the behest of emotion.

I know what it is to become something you hate, I know how it hurts. But life is full of hurt. And your capacity for baring it is much greater than you believe."pg 287

What a person did when they were in pain said a lot about them.pg 459

I may be in pain, but I am not weak.

I don't want to die anymore. I am up to the challenge of bearing the guilt and the grief up to facing the difficulties that life has put in my path. Some days are harder than others, but I am ready to live each one of them. I can't sacrifice myself this time.

Fear,” she says, “is more powerful than pain.

I wish I could tell him that we’re going through the same thing. I wish I could speak to him like I want to instead of like I’m supposed to. But the idea of admitting that I need help is too much to bear, so I turn away.

A harsh crack followed the rumble of thunder, a lightning strike. With that, the other musicians began to play, bringing in the tinkling sounds of light rain, the deeper thrum of thicker droplets. The others played the crashing waves, the lapping of water against a nonexistent shore. All around us were the sounds of water, dripping from faucets, gushing from waterfalls.

Soft hearts make the universe worth living in.

Scrubbing the floor when no one else wanted to was something that my mother would have done. If I can't be with her, the least I can do is act like her sometimes.

I think we cry to release the animal parts of us without losing our humanity. Becauseinside me is a beast that snarls, and growls, and strains toward freedom, toward Tobias, and, aboveall, toward life. And as hard as I try, I cannot kill it.

There is power in controlling something that can do so much damage-in controlling something, period.

Sorry, am I being rude?" she asks."I'm used to saying whatever is on my mind. Mom used to say that politeness is deception in pretty packaging

There is an art to Noavek bullshit," Cyra said as she muted the feed. "We're taught it from birth.

The knife will only hurt for a moment. Then your choice will be made, and it will all be over.

She's a sailboat and I'm an anchor, pulling us both down.

But you should know that about Dauntless- girl, guy, whatever, it doesn't matter here. What matters is what you've got in your gut.

You know, there's a word for big, strong men who attack women, and it's coward.

We don't know what's happened out there since they put us in here, or how many generations have lived and died since they did.We could be the last people left.

There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved, for the sake of something greater.But sometimes it doesn't.Sometimes it is nothing more than gritting your teeth through pain, and the work of every day, the slow walk toward a better life. That is the sort of bravery I must have now.

But there's so much that was a lie, it's hard to figure out what was true, what was real, what matters.

She said that everyone has some evil inside them, and the first step to loving anyone is to recognize the same evil inside ourselves,so we're able to forgive them.

You won’t shoot me.""People tend to overestimate my character," I say quietly. "They think that because I’m small, or a girl, or a Stiff, I can’t possibly be cruel. But they’re wrong.

But I know that for every good thing that comes along, there is always a cost.

If she's in pain now she doesn't show it; she just closes her eyes and surrenders, and that is worse than her screaming for help, somehow.

I have a scar-a faint gouge in my knee from when I fell down on the sidewalk as a child. It's always seemed stupid to me that none of the pain I've experienced has left a visible mark; sometimes, without a way to prove it to myself. I began to doubt that I had lied through it at all, with the memories becoming hazy over time. I want to have some kind of reminder that while wounds heal, they don't disappear forever- I carry them everywhere, always, and that is the way of things, the way of scars.That is what this tattoo will be, for me: a scar. And it seems fitting that it should document the worst memory of pain I have.

Intentions are the only thing they care about. They try to make you think they care about what you do, but they don't. They don't want you to act a certain way, they want you to think a certain way. So you're easy to understand. So you wont pose a threat to them.

A brave man acknowledges the strength of others.

I have realized that part of being Dauntless is being willing to make things more difficult for yourself in order to be self-sufficient. There's nothing especially brave about wandering dark streets with no flashlight, but we are not supposed to need help, even from light. We are supposed to be capable of anything. I like that. Because there might come a day when there is no flashlight, there is no gun, there is no guiding hand. And I want to be ready.

I didn't scream I wasn't afraid. I knew I was strong enough to survive it all.

Pain had a way of breaking time down. I thought about the next minute, the next hour. There wasn't enough space in my mind to put all those pieces together, to find words to summarise the whole of it. But the "keep going" part, I knew the words for.P151

Some days are harder than others, but I am ready to live each one of them. I can't sacrifice myself, this time.

There was only one option left, and it was letting go.

My mother wasn't a fool," I say. "She just understood something you didn't. That it's not sacrifice if it's someone else's life you're giving away, it's just evil."I back up another step and say, "She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love, not misplaced disgust for another person's genetics. That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own. ...

Caleb told me that our mother said there was evil in everyone, and the first step to loving someone else is to recognize that evil in ourselves, so we can forgive them.

You’re the one who has to live whit your choice" she says."Everyone else will get over it, move on, no matter what you decide. But you never will.

Ingenuity requires creativity.

We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you.

I just wanted to thank you' he says, his voice low.'A group of scientists told you that my genes were damaged, that there was something wrong with me - they showed you the test results that proved it. And even I started to believe it.' He touches my face, his thumb skimming my cheekbone, and his eyes are on mine, intense and insistent.'You never believed it,' he says 'Not for a second. You always insisted I was... I don't know, whole.

It's strange how a word, a phrase, a sentence, can feel like a blow to the head.

Maybe time would not feel as heavy if I didn't have this guilt - the guilt of knowing the truth and stuffing it down where no one can see it.

It would be nice if life worked this way, stripping the dirt from our lives and sending us back out into the world clean. But some dirt is destined to lingered.

I laugh, and it’s laughter, not light, that casts out the darkness building within me, that reminds me I am still alive, even in this strange place whereeverything I’ve ever known is coming apart. I know some things—I know that I’m not alone, that I have friends, that I’m in love. I know where I came from. I know that I don’t want to die, and for me, that’s something—more than I could have said a few weeks ago.

I laugh, and it's laughter, not light, that casts out the darkness building within me, that reminds me I am still alive, even in this strange place where everything I've ever known is coming apart.

I hear something in her words that's right, but it's hard to believe her right now.

In that moment I’m able to accept the inevitability of how I feel, though not with joy. I need to talk to someone. I need to trust someone. And for whatever reason, I know, I know it’s her.

A son says to his Mother: "Mother, today I fought with my friend."His Mother says: "Why did you fight with your friend?""Because he demanded something of me, and I would not give it to him.""Why did you not give it to him?""Because it was mine.""My son, you now have possessions, but you do not have your friend. Which would you rather have?""My friend.""Then give freely, trusting that you will also be given what you need.

I think about pressing myself against him, but I can't, because all our secrets would keep a space between us.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?I want to be.I can.I believe it.

I understand why she did all those things, but that doesn't mean we aren't still broken.

When someone wrongs you, you both share the burden of that wrongdoing - the pain of it weighs on both of you. Forgiveness, then, means choosing to bear the full weight all by yourself.

I have been able to be kind and pleasant to him because every time I think of what happened in Erudite headquarters, I immediately push the thought aside. But that can't be forgiveness - if I had forgiven him, I would be able to think of what happened without that hated I can feel in my gut, right?Or maybe forgiveness is just the continual pushing aside of bitter memories, until time dulls the hurt and the anger, and the wrong is forgotten.

It reminds me that no embrace will ever feel the same again, because no one will ever be like her again, because she's gone. She's gone, and crying feels so useless, so stupid, but it's all I can do.

I confessed to Tobias, soon after that, that I had lost my entire family.And he assured me that he was my family now. -Tris Prior

You don't have to tell me everything right away, but I have to tell you everything right away? Can't you see how stupid that is?

Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.

It happened. It was awful. You aren't perfect. That's all there is. Don't confuse your grief with guilt."We stay in the silence and the loneliness of the otherwise empty dormitory for a few more minutes, and I try to let her words work themselves into me.

I was angry with him before. I’m not really sure why. Maybe I was just angry that the world had become such a complicated place, that I have never known even a fraction of the truth about it. Or that I allowed myself to grieve for someone who was never really gone, the same way I grieved for my mother all the years I thought she was dead. Tricking someone into grief is one of the cruelest tricks a person can play, and it’s been played on me twice.

I have discovered that sitting still leaves little spaces for the grief to get in, so I stay busy.

He still smiles all the time, but now his smiles look like they're made out of water, about to drip down his face.

I don't want to cry for Edward- at least not in the deep, personal way that you cry for a friend or loved one. I want to cry because something terrible happened, and I saw it, and I could not see a way to mend it.

I grabbed hold of my Divergence like it was a hand outstretched to save me. I needed that word to tell me who I was when everything else was coming apart around me. But now I'm wondering if I need it anymore, if we ever really need these words, 'Dauntless,' 'Erudite,' 'Divergent,' "Allegiant,' or if we can just be friends or lovers or siblings, defined instead by the choices we make and the love and loyalty that binds us.

Sometimes I feel like we are the same, but sometimes, like right now, I feel the separation between our personalities like I've just run into a wall.

I close my eyes. I don't expect Four to reassure me, and he makes no effort to, but I feel better standing here than I did out there among the people who are my friends, my faction.

The tunnel is lit at long intervals, so in the dark space between each dim lamp, I fear that I am lost until a shoulder bumps mine. In the circles of light I am safe again.

Or maybe we'll make a home somewhere inside ourselves, to carry with us wherever we go- which is the way I carry my mother now.

When her body first hit the net, all I registered was a gray blur. I pulled her across it and her hand was small, but warm, and then she stood before me, short and thin and plain and in all ways unremarkable- except that she had jumped first. The stiff had jumped first.Even I didn't jump first.Her eyes were so stern, so insistent.Beautiful.

It's strange to see people you don't know well in the morning, with sleepy eyes and pillow creases in their cheeks

Mockery is childish. It does not become you.

I am selfish. I am brave.

He must have stood there for a long time, making a list of all the terrible things he had done—almost killinng me was one of those thingss—and another list of all the good, heroic, brave things he had not done, and then decided that he was tired. Tired, not just of living, but of existing. Tired of being Al.

I shower in the dark, barely able to tell soap from conditioner, and tell myself that I will emerge new and strong, that the water will heal me.

I used to think that when people fell in love, they just landed where they landed, and they had no choice in the matter afterward. And maybe that’s true of beginnings, but it’s not true of this, now.I fell in love with him. But I don’t just stay with him by default as if there’s no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.

I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you, though.

I like to think I'm helping them by hating them. I'm reminding them that they aren't God's gift to humankind.

Maybe there is some Abnegation in everyone. Well in everyone but Peter."-Tris Prior

No,I just thought I'd shoot bullets out of my nose

I also remember that my father was one of the people who voted to get the Dauntless out of the factionless sector of the city. He said the poor didn’t need policing; they needed help, and we could give it to them. But I would rather not mention that now, or here. It’s one of the many things Erudite gives as evidence of Abnegation’s incompetence.

I like to hurt people too. I can make the cruelest choice. The difference is, sometimes I don't, and you always do, and that makes you evil.

I can't imagine it's easy to like someone, hate them, and then lose them before any of those feelings are resolved.

I feel the monster of grief again, writhing in the empty space where my heart and stomach used to be. I gasp, pressing both palms to my chest. Now the monstrous thing has its claws around my throat, squeezing my airway. I twist and put my head between my knees, breathing until the strangled feeling leaves me.

I am afraid that if I start to sob, I will never stop until I shrivel up like a raisin.

I guess I always knew there was something wrong with me, but I thought it was because of my father, or my mother, and the pain they bequeathed to me like a family heirloom, handed down from generation to generation.- Tobias Eaton

And everyone saw me. Tobias saw me.I hear footsteps. Tobias marches toward me and wrenches me to my feet."What the hell was that, Stiff?""I..." My breath comes in a hiccup. "I didn't-""Get yourself together! This is pathetic."Something within me snaps. My tears stop. Heat races through my body, driving the weakness out of me, and I smack him so hard my knuckles burn with the impact. He stares at me, one side of his face bright with blush-blood, and I stare back."Shut up," I say. I yank my arm from his grasp and walk out of the room.

But a person can only keep reality - and anger - at bay for so long before the truth comes back again.

Some of my anger has faded, but it isn't hard to call back. All I have to do is think about how cold the air was and how loud the laughter was. Look at her. She's a child.

I still want to be angry, but I have to let my anger go.

Everything inside me screams for just one more kiss, one more word, one more glance, one more.

(...) a man encased in ice, his eyes hard and his voice like a frosty exhale.

Every faction conditions its members to think and act a certain way. And most people do it. For most people, it's not hard to learn, to find a pattern of thought that works and stay that way. But our minds move in a dozen different directions. We can't be confined to one way of thinking, and that terrifies our leaders. It means we can't be controlled. And it means that no matter what they do, we will always cause trouble for them.

- It doesn't do anything obvious. But it might be able to do something in here. - Then she touched her hand to her heart. - Beautiful things sometimes do.

Why is your heart racing Tris?

It's not cruelty, maybe, but a desire to understand that motivates them.

Thank you for your honesty," Niles says. The Candor repeat the phrase under their breath. All around me are the words "Thank you for your honesty" at different volumes and pitches, and my anger begins to dissolve.

no wonder you left."Yeah," i say, rolling my eyes. " It was just because of the food.

Damn,' someone behind me says. 'I was hoping we would get to scrape some Stiff pancake off the pavement later.

I open my eyes and for the first time stare openly at my own reflection. My heart rate picks up as I do, like I am breaking the rules and will be scolded for it. It will be difficult to break the habits of thinking Abnegation instilled in me, like tugging a single thread from a complex work of embroidery. But I will find new habits, new thoughts, new rules. I will become something else. …Looking at myself now isn’t like seeing myself for the first time; it’s like seeing someone else for the first time. Beatrice was a girl I saw in stolen moments at the mirror, who kept quiet at the dinner table. This is someone whose eyes claim mine and don’t release me; this is Tris.

Killing you is not the worst thing they can do to you," I say. "Controlling you is.

If we're afraid to be ourselves, then who are we? Where's there left to hide?But if we could concur that fear, we just might be strong, powerful. We just might be unstoppable.

You're the one who has to live with your choice," she says. "Everyone else will get over it, move on, no matter what you decide. But you never will.

It is impossible to erase my choices.

I am wearing a gray shirt, blue jeans, black shoes--new clothes, but beneath them, my Dauntless tattoos. It is impossible to erase my choices. Especially these.

It's not often you encounter the real person behind a good-natured mask, the darkest parts of someone. It's not comfortable when you do.

(...) I do want to leave, in the desperate way that an animal wants to escape a trap. Wild and rabid. Ready to gnaw through bone.

If I let a little of the emotion out, all of it will come out, and it will never end.

She is a woman of muscle twisted around bone.

Sleep," he says. "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you.""With what?""My bar hands, obviously."In the moments before i drift off to sleep, i hear him whisper, "I love you, Tris.

Sometimes I forget that I can hurt you. That you are capable of being hurt

Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m all right?” I say.“No, I’m pretty sure you’re not all right.”He shakes his head. “I’m going to ask you not to make any decisions until we’ve talkedabout it.

So this is where you grew up. Did you like it here? I guess you couldn't have, if you wanted to leave.' CHRISTINA'I liked some things and hated some things. And there were some things I didn't know I had until I lost them.' TRIS

This is what I chose. This is it." I look over Robert's shoulder. The Dauntless guards seem to have finished examining the truck. The bearded man gets back into the driver's seat and closes the door behind him. "Besides, Robert. The goal of my life isn't just...to be happy." "Wouldn't it be easier if it was, though?" he says

She wanted us to have more than five choices. Now we have none.

It’s not about Al,” I snap. “It’s about everyone watching! Everyone who now seeshurling themselves into the chasm as a viable option. I mean, why not do it if everyonecalls you a hero afterward? Why not do it if everyone will remember your name? It’s…Ican’t…

I am proud. It will get me into trouble someday, but today it makes me brave

I regret..." Tobias tilts his head, and sighs. "I regret my choice.""What Ch

I can't leave her now. I like her too much. There, I said it. But I won't say it again.

If someone offers you an opportunity to get closer to your enemy, you always take it. I know that without having learned it from anyone.

I don't need to relive my fears anymore. All I need to do now is try to overcome them.

It’s getting more difficult to be wise,” he says, laughing into my ear.I smile at him. “I think that’s how it’ssupposed to be.

Honor,” I said with a snort. “Honor has no place in survival.

... but in an attack, surviving is an accident. It doesn't take skill to stand in a place where no bullets find you, or to fire into the dark and hit a man you didn't see. It is all luck, or providence, depending on what you believe.

I touch her cheek to slow the kiss down, holding her mouth on mine so I can feel every place where our lips touch and every place where they pull away. I savor the air we share in the second afterwards and the slip of her nose across mine. I think of something to say, but it is too intimate, so I swallow it. A moment later I decide I don't care. "I wish we were alone," I say as I back out of the cell. She smiles. "I almost always wish that.

She taught me all about real sacrifice. That it should be done from love... That it should be done from necessity, not without exhausting all other options. That it should be done for people who need your strength because they don't have enough of their own.

The scars on her face said something different about her, too-that she, like Cyra, knew what she was risking when she risked her life."pg 337

Stupid. Why do people want to pretendthat death is sleep? It isn’t. It isn’t

A chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy.

I think I speak for everyone," he says, "when I say you have earned the title of Dauntless".

What is wrong with you?' I shake my head. 'Pull it together.' And that's what it feels like: pulling the different parts of me up and in like a shoelace. I feel suffocated, but at least I feel strong.

Sometimes it isn't fighting that's brave, it's facing the death you know is coming.

Now it seems like no matter what I decide, I'll be betraying someone.

maybe here, in dauntless, bravery is the highest form of wisdom. the acknowledgement that life can and should be lived without fear

But then he stops at the door frame and says, It's 9:24. Telling me the time is a small act of betrayal-and therefore an ordinary act of bravery. It is maybe the first time I've seen Peter be truly Dauntless.

There are so many ways to be brave in this world. Sometimes bravery involves laying down your life for something bigger than yourself, or for someone else. Sometimes it involves giving up everything you have ever known, or everyone you have ever loved for the sake of something greater.

She must love me, to worry about me. She must still be capable of love.

That our world is so massive that it is completely out of our control, that we cannot possibly be as large as we feel.

The division is based on knowledge, based on qualifications - but as I learned from the factionless, a system that relies on a group of uneducated people to do its dirty work without giving them a way to rise is hardly fair.

I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.

The only reason I haven't shot you yet is because he's the one who should get to do it," I say. "Stay away from him or I'll decide I no longer care.

I'll only go if there's cake.~Tobias "Four

This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political debate.

And there were some things I didn't know I had until I lost them.

And what this is, I realize, is life. I don't want it. I want my parents and I have for weeks. I've been trying to claw my way back to them, and now I am so close and he is telling me not to.

I feel bare. I didn't realize I wore my secrets as armor until they were gone and now everyone sees me as I really am.

I thought that when I spilled one secret, the rest would come tumbling after, but openness is a habit you form over time, and not a switch you flip whenever you want to, I'm finding,

I thought that when I spilled one secret, the rest would come tumbling after, but openness is a habit you form over time, and not a switch you flip whenever you want to, I'm finding.

...something important is lost if this man has been forced to deny his own nature.

You know,' he said, the condition of sourness--or monstrousness, as you might call it--doesn't have to be permanent.'P189

Some people might leave you,' he said, for once ignoring a joke in favor of something real. 'But it doesn't mean you're worth leaving. It doesn't mean that at all.

This body had carried me through a hard life. It looked exactly the way it was supposed to.

I tell myself, as sternly as possible, that is how things work here. We do dangerous things and people die. People die, and we move on to the next dangerous thing. The sooner that lesson sinks in, the better chance I have at surviving initiation.

I feel something hot and violent writhing in my stomach. I want to hurt them. I stare at my eyes in the mirror. I want so, so I will.

You're desperate, and so am I,' I said. 'Desperate people make stupid decisions all the time.'"P244

I realize that the decision might be simple. It will require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation, or a great act of courage to choose Dauntless, and maybe just choosing one over the other will prove that I belong.

This is how we came by our factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation and Dauntless." Max smiles. "In them we find administrators and teachers and counselors and leaders and protectors. In them we find our sense of belonging, our sense of community, our very lives.

I'm not abnegation, I'm not dauntless, I am Divergent

The opinions of others cannot damage you.

It's when you're acting selflessly that you are at you bravest

Doing a little at once can fix something, eventually, but i feel like when you believe something is truly a problem, you throw everything you have at it, because you just can't help yourself.

Maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.

I wish I could say I felt guilty for what I did. I don't.

It happened. It was awful. You aren't perfect. That's all there is. Don't confuse your grief with guilt.

I should have forgiven him.”“Maybe. Maybe there’s more we all could have done,” he says, “but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.”I frown and pull back. That is a lesson that members of Abnegation learn – guilt as a tool, rather than a weapon against the self.

If you see someone in trouble, you should help them. Experiment or not.

Because life is not fair, Albert. And the world is conspiring against you.

Are you asking me to undress, Tris?'A nervous laugh gurgles from my throat. 'Only ... partially

Chaos and destruction do tend to take away a person's dating possibilities.

What did you do, memorize a map of the city for fun?” says Christina.“Yes,” says Will, looking puzzled. “Didn’t you?

Crying defies scientific explanation. Tears are only meant to lubricate the eyes. There is no real reason for tear glands to overproduce tears at the behest of emotion.I think we cry to release the animal parts of us without losing our humanity.

Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them.

If they told us what to believe, and we didn't come to it on our own, is it still true?

I fit my mouth to his and he tastes like water and smells like fresh air. I drag my hand from his neck to the small of his back and put it under his shirt. He kisses me harder.

The ability to think isn't exclusive to erudite

Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.

At home I used to spend calm, pleasant nights with my family. My mother knit scarves for the neighborhood kids. My father helped Caleb with his homework. There was a fire in the fireplace and peace in my heart, as I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing, and everything was quiet. I have never been carried around by a large boy, or laughed until my stomach hurt at the dinner table, or listened to the clamor of a hundred people all talking at once. Peace is restrained; this is free.

Oh. I just assumed... That because I am so absorbed by him everyone must be too.

All three combined is...a different kind of stupid formerly unheard of by humankind.

I am not Tobias Eaton, not anymore, never again. I am Dauntless.

How do you stop conflict without conflict?

I don’t know how long i tis before we get cold again, and huddle under the blanket together.-It’s getting more difficult to be wise. – He says,laughing into my ear.I smile at him. – I think that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Tris!” Four calls out. Will and I exchange a look, half surprise and half apprehension. Four pulls away from the railing and walksup to me. Ahead of us, Al and Christina stop running, and Christina slides to the ground. I don’t blame them for staring. There are four of us, and Four is only talking to me.“You look different.” His words, normally crisp, are now sluggish.“So do you,” I say. And he does—he looks more relaxed, younger. “What are you doing?”“Flirting with death,” he replies with a laugh. “Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea.”“No, it isn’t.” I’m not sure I like Four this way. There’s something unsettling about it.“Didn’t know you had a tattoo,” he says, looking at my collarbone.He sips the bottle. His breath smells thick and sharp. Like the factionless man’s breath.“Right. The crows,” he says. He glances over his shoulder at his friends, who are carrying on without him, unlike mine. He adds,“I’d ask you to hang out with us, but you’re not supposed to see me this way.”I am tempted to ask him why he wants me to hang out with him, but I suspect the answer has something to do with the bottle inhis hand.“What way?” I ask. “Drunk?”“Yeah...well, no.” His voice softens. “Real, I guess.”“I’ll pretend I didn’t.”“Nice of you.” He puts his lips next to my ear and says, “You look good, Tris.”His words surprise me, and my heart leaps. I wish it didn’t, because judging by the way his eyes slide over mine, he has no ideawhat he’s saying. I laugh. “Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?”“Of course.” He winks at me.

So you’re her brother?” says Lynn. “I guess we know who got the good genes.”I laugh at the expression on Caleb’s face, his mouth drawn into a slight pucker and his eyes wide.

If someone offer you an opportunity to get closer to your enemy, you always take it.

Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.

I don't understand', I say,'why they care what I think, as long as I'm acting how they want me to.''You're acting how they want you to now', he says,'but what happens when your Abnegation-wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don't want?

How many young men fear that there is a monster inside them? People are supposed to fear others, not themselves. People are supposed to aspire to become their fathers, not shudder at the thought.

... if they are persistent enough, even tiny drops of water, over time, can change the rock forever. And it will never change back." - Zoe

You’re too important to just … die.” He shakes his head. He won’t even look at me—his eyes keep shifting across myface, to the wall behind me or the ceiling above me, to everything but me. I am too stunned to be angry.“I’m not important. Everyone will do just fine without me,” I say.“Who cares about everyone? What about me?

I want to break something, or hit something, but I am afraid to move, so I start crying instead.

I don't know why, but his reaction disappoints me.

Most of my life has been spent keeping information close, turning it over and over in my mind. The impulse to share anything is a new one, the impulse to hide as natural as breathing.

He is stronger than anyone I know, & warmer than anyone else realizes; he is a secret that I have kept, & will keep, for the rest of my life.

He should be the one to die, part of me thinks.I don't want to lose him, another part argues.I don't know which part to believe.

Caleb and Tris exchange a look. The skin on his face and on her knuckles is nearly the same colour, purple-blue-green, as if drawn with ink. This is what happens when siblings collide - they injure each other in the same way.

That night we push our cots just a little closer together, and look into each other's eyes in the moments before we fall asleep. When he finally drifts off, our fingers are twisted together in the space between the beds.I smile a little, and let myself go.

Looking away is submissive. Looking [..] in the eye is a challenge.

You're my daughter. I don't care about the factions.

Do remember, though, that sometimes the people you oppress become mightier than you would like.

We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear.

I can pretend to be brave, but I'm not

Is it selfish for me to crave victory or is it brave?

My body rises with the water. Instead of kicking my feet to stay abreast of it, I push all the air from my lungs and sink to the bottom. The water muffles my ears. I feel its movement over my face. I think about snorting the water into my lungs so it kills me faster, but I can't bring myself to do it. I blow bubbles from my mouth. Relax. I close my eyes. My lungs burn.

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?I don't know. I don't know.please.-Tris, DivergentCan I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?I want to be.I can.I believe it.-Tris, Allegiant

I also don't believe that whatever come after life depends on my correctly reciting a list of my transgressions-that sounds too much like an Erudite afterlife to me, all accuracy and no feeling.

I suppose that now would be the time to ask for forgiveness for all the things I've done, but I'm sure my list would never be complete. I also don't believe that whatever comes after life depends on my correctly reciting a list of my transgressions...I don't believe that what comes after depends on anything I do at all.

The hurts from my last day with my father are healed now, but I want to remember where they were; I want to remember what I escaped for as long as I live.

He smells safe, too, like sunlit walks in the orchard and silent breakfastsin the dining hall. And in the moments before I drift off to sleep, I almost forget about our war-torn city and all the conflict that willcome to find us soon, if we don’t find it first.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight for a few seconds. Hisbreaths tickle my ear, and I close my eyes, letting myself finally relax. Hesmells like wind and sweat and soap, like Tobias and like safety.

How strange that something so simple could have been instrumental in my decision to ruin one of my most relationships and friendships, and damage another.