Men are mystifying creatures. For instance why do all men think their penis is a panacea for all the world’s problems?

I suppose you’re young,’ she conceded, managing once again to make youth sound like impetigo

The Classic Notting Hill junkie, i.e; Armani underwear, Pink’s shirt and Burberry belt tourniquets

London is speared by the tube map of fashion zone: zone one is classic-edgy, zone two is edgy-dowdy while the counties do a classic, edgy, dowdy hotch potch - epitomised so beautifully by Kate Moss.

I had walked all over the fragile bloom of his heart like a Boadicea in Blahniks

Clamboring over building detritus was not the lifestyle Karl Lagerfeld had in mind for this sweet little powder-blue suit. As he oversaw the hand stitching in his atelier he had probably imagined the suit living a life of tea parties and lunches with the girls at the Ivy

The Duke is worried you lack the fitness to walk up Bond Street. You’re generation lacks the drive.

Chic rarely bothers to leave the Rue De Faubourg Saint-Honore.

Pleasantly bustling shoppers streamed past us on Bond Street - smart-suited men and well-heeled women whose commitment to luxury goods glazed over their eyes like a bad case of malaria.

I had entered a world that no one with an evolved sense of joie de vivre would touch with a barge pole - it's called "Joining the Property Market" and it trumps war for stress!

It's called joining the property market - and it shits on war for stress

I truly believe that the boredom of illness is parlous to one's health

Darling, I'm so unutterably bored as to be a hazard