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  3. Stephen Grosz
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A lot of people, especially psychoanalysts, assume that happiness can only be found in a couple - but not all of us are made for a relationship.

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
happiness people relationship feeling couple opinion assumption psychoanalyst

we all try to silence painful emotions. but when we succeed in feeling nothing we lose the only means we have of knowing what hurts us and why.

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
psychology

The bigger the front, the bigger the back.

psychology

For a minute, the fantasy frightened her, but ultimately, this fear saved her from feeling alone.

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
indifference fear psychology paranoia forgotten

As he spoke, I had the mental image of a small boy switching on the nightlight, not because he wants to be able to find his parents during the night, but because he fears his parents will forget him - lose him - in the dark.

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
fear forgetting psychology weakness

Pyschoanalysts are fond of pointing out that the past is alive in the present. But the future is alive in the present too. The future is not some place we're going to, but an idea in our mind now. It is something we're creating, that in turn creates us. The future is a fantasy that shapes our present.

future living-in-the-present psychoanalysis pyschology

Being loved is the problem, because love is a demand - when you're loved, someone wants more of you.

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
love being-loved relationship feeling couple problem demand

When I'm in a couple, I feel I'm disappearing, dying - losing my mind.

love dying relationship feeling couple disappearing losing-your-mind

Closure is just as delusive-it is the false hope that we can deaden our living grief.

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
death grief closure

Being present, whether with children, with friends, or even with oneself, is hard work. But isn't this attentiveness -- the feeling that someone is trying to think about us -- something we want more than praise?

em The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves
present-moment praise attentiveness

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