Oh, he did look like a deity – the perfect balance of danger and charm, he was at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he was dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.
Everybody is equally weak on the inside, just that some present their ruins as new castles and become kings –
Strength and victory... What he would never praise himself for, but whose loss was his most obsessive fear.
I always am in a role, lovely – for you, for them – even for myself. Yeah... Even when I’m alone, I am still in a role – and I myself am the most exacting audience I have ever had.
Have a look around, my pretty, we are surrounded by Death in all forms – just the two of us are still alive –
Even I don’t know myself... In fact, I don’t know if I really have a self at all, as I’m constantly playing different roles and pretending – not so much on stage as in real life...
Emotions don’t interfere in my acting, nor in my life.
So, apart from casting runes, what other hobbies do you have? Forbidden rituals, human sacrifices, torturing? –
I was never able to accept anyone else’s support but my own –
A good enemy can be better than the best of friend.
You can speak to me like you haven’t spoken even to yourself.
Desires are what can most easily ruin us, lovely.
And what if you try to kill me? Or worse: to kiss me?
Paranoia. The more you think of an imaginary problem, the more you feel as though it’s real –
The unknown grayish mystifying forest was benumbed into frost-covered cold, and the tremendous pines towering above the dark marshy soil resembled a gathering of severe mute brothers from a forbidden ancient order worshiping forgotten gods no one had ever heard of outside of the world of secret occult visions.
And I wasn’t playing a role – I was trying to be myself.But the harder I was striving, the more I was realizing that I had probably lost that ‘myself’ somewhere between two perfectly performed roles...
Gray.The overcast skies had the colour of deadened stones, and seemed closer than usually, as though they were phlegmatically observing my every movement with their apathetic emptily blue-less eyes; each tiny drop of hazy rain drifting around resembled transparent molten steel, the pavement looked like it was about to burst into disconsolate tears, even the air itself was gray, so ultimate and ubiquitous that colour was everywhere around me.Gray...
I was recently living more comfortably surrounded by secrets... Like dozens of luxurious satiny pillows, they were embracing me from all directions into safe lulling warmth, thus isolating me from the sharp dead-cold edges of the truth hiding behind their endearingly smooth textures and tender soothing colours.Secrets could be so irresistibly beautiful...