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Elizabeth: "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?"Darcy: "They belong to you, Miss Bennett.

em Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
humor

Of all the weapons she had commanded, Elizabeth knew the least of love; and of all the weapons in the world, love was the most dangerous.

em Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
truth

It is a strange thing how quickly our bodies die. How fragile a force our presence is. In an instant the soul is gone - leaving an empty, insignificant vessel in its stead. I have read of those sent to the gallows and guillotines of Europe. I have read of the great war of ages past and men slaughtered by the tens of thousands. And we give but fleeting consideration to such deaths, for it is our nature to banish such thoughts. But in doing so, we forget that they were each as alive as we, and the one length of rope - or bullet - or blade, took the whole of their lives in that one, fragile instant. Took their earliest days as swaddled infants, and their grayest unfulfilled futures. When one think of how many souls have suffered this fate in all of history - of the untold murders of untold men, women and children.. it is too much to bear.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
inspirational death

Let us pray now for the future dead. Though we do not yet know their names, we know that there shall be far too many of them.

inspirational death war

I have read of the great wars of ages past, and men slaughtered by the tens of thousands. And we give but fleeting consideration to their deaths, for it is our nature to banish such thoughts.

death war existential

These fools who haven't the slightest idea how to live the morals they espouse. These fools who proclaim themselves men of God, yet show not the slightest reverance to His word...Is it any different from a drunkard preaching temperance? A whore preaching modesty?

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
religion spirituality horror

He begged to know to which of his fair cousins the excellency of its cookery was owing. Briefly forgetting her manners, Mary grabbed her fork and leapt from her chair onto the table. Lydia, who was seated nearest her, grabbed her ankle before she could dive at Mr. Collins and, presumably, stab him about the head and neck for such an insult.

em Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
funny honour pride-and-prejudice-and-zombies

The bottom half of the page had descended into a doodle of a tiny man giving the middle finger to a giant, angry eagle with razor-sharp talons. Beneath it, the caption: To Mock a Killing Bird.

funny abraham-lincoln vampire-hunter

There are but two types of men who desire war: those who haven’t the slightest intention of fighting it themselves, and those who haven’t the slightest idea what it is. … Any man who has seen the face of death knows better than to seek him out a second time.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
war vampires abraham-lincoln

I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all mean are created free and equal.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
freedom equality abraham-lincoln

How pleasant it is to spend an evening in this way! I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading!”“Spoken like one who has never known the ecstasy of holding a still-beating heart in her hand.

em Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
pleasure heart reading ecstasy zombies

...seeing the way his trousers clung to those most English parts.

funny jane-austen horror zombies chick-lit

So I suggest you stick close, pay attention, and avoid breaking the Terrorverse's only commandment: Thou shall not be stupid.

em How to Survive a Horror Movie
humor horror

From this moment on, nothing is what it seems. You're not a human being, you're a character- and filmmakers are doing everything in their power to kill you even now. Supernatural powers and curses are real, and numbers like 666 and 237 can kill you just as easily as a butch knife.Log cabins are slaughterhouses, cornstalks are antennas for evil, and aliens never, ever come in peace.

em How to Survive a Horror Movie
horror

In the real world, babysitting is a groovy way for young people to learn responsibility (and earn a little pocket money). In the Terrorverse, it's a plot device used to kill teenagers.

em How to Survive a Horror Movie
comedy horror

The true rule, in determining to embrace, or reject any thing, is not whether it have any evil in it; but whether it have more of evil, than of good. There are few things wholly evil, or wholly good." -- Abraham Lincoln, Original Quote

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
integrity justice morality equality fairness

So long as this country is cursed with slavery, so too will it be cursed with vampires.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
slavery vampires

Abraham," he said. "I'm pleased to see you alive, old friend.""And I to see you dead.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
humor vampires

One: I am proud to say that my vampires do not sp

vampires abrahamlincoln-vampirehunter

Father may have been wanting in some things, but here he was masterful. Night upon night, I marveled at his power to hold listeners in rapt attention. He could tell a story with such detail, such flourish, that afterwards a man could swear it had been his own memory, and not a tale at all.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
storytelling

We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
hell

Contrary to his infallibly "honest" image, Abe wasn't above lying so long as it served a noble purpose.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
vampire lincoln

Men have enslaved each other since they invented gods to forgive them for doing it.

god slavery

‎And when this intoxication has worn away... when every desire is fulfilled and every language learned- when there are no more distant cities to explore; no classics to be studied; not another coin to be stuffed in to one's coffers- what then? One can have all the comforts of the world, but what use are they if there is no comfort in them?

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
life immortality

This is one hell of a suicide note.THE SUICIDE SOLILOQUY-Yes! I've resolved the deed to do, And this the place to do it;The heart I'll rush a dagger throughThough I in hell should rue it!Sweet steel! Come forth from out your sheath,And glist'ning, speak your powers;Rip up the organs of my breath,And draw my blood in showers!I strike! It quivers in that heartWhich drives me to this end;I draw and kiss the bloody dart,My last-my only friend!

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
deep powerful

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.

em Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
paraphrased zombies

What an excellent father you have, girls!' said she, when the door was shut. 'Such joys are scarce since the good Lord saw fit to close the gates of Hell and doom the dead to walk amongst us.

em Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
jane-austen zombies

Most men have no purpose but to exist, Abraham; to pass quietly through history as minor characters upon a stage they cannot even see. To be the playthings of tyrants. But you...you were born to fight tyranny.

em Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
purpose-of-life fighting-evil

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