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  3. Russ Harris
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Building a good relationship with ourselves is essential for inner fulfilment, especially when we run into a large reality gap.

em The Reality Slap: Finding Peace and Fulfillment When Life Hurts
reality relationship fulfilment gap

The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can't control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling.

em ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
love emotions relationship

Instead of a feeling, think of love as an action. The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can’t control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling.

love action feeling whim

The more importance we place on avoiding unpleasant feelings in life, the more our life tends to go downhill.

em ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
life feelings importance

We need to pay attention with a particular attitude: one of openness, curiosity, and receptiveness.

em ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
openness curiosity attention attitude receptiveness

What holds you back is not fear, but your attitude towards it. The tighter you hold on to the attitude that fear is something ‘bad’ and you can’t do the things you want until it goes away, the more stuck you will be.

em The Confidence Gap
fear attitude

Our thoughts are not the problem. Our thoughts do not create the psychological smog. It is the way we respond to our thoughts that creates the smog.

em The Reality Slap: Finding Peace and Fulfillment When Life Hurts
thought problem way smog

Stop trying to control how you feel, and instead take control of what you do.

em ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
control

The fact that you can act with love even when you don’t feel love is very empowering. Why? Because whereas the feelings of love are fleeting and largely out of your control, you can take the actions of love anytime and anyplace for the whole rest of your life.

em ACT with Love: Stop Struggling, Reconcile Differences, and Strengthen Your Relationship with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
life love feeling control fact rest

Fear is not your enemy. It is a powerful source of energy that can be harnessed and used for your benefit.

em The Confidence Gap
fear enemy energy source benefit

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