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Mom lies down next to me and we both stare at the ceiling in complete silence. “Boys are like candy,” she suddenly says. I grin. “Really, Mom? That’s your advice? Boys are like candy. What is that? Forrest Gump on teens?

inspirational teenage-love advice mother daughter funny-humor

You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult,” I say and take a big gulp from the can. With his back to me, he says, “Trust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I’m sure it’s better than anything I’m cooking out here.

em All My Life
romantic lovers funny-humor

Breathless I look up at him and find him gazing at me with a wonder that my deep-seated insecurity finds hard to believe. Then he does this thing. His fingers start moving on my face, tracing outlines. They trail along my eyebrows, the ridge of my nose, the apple of my cheeks and the line of my jaw. His touch is like feather but his eyes…they blaze and just like that, without saying a single word, he makes me believe.

em All My Life
love passion romance romantic erotic

After a few seconds of scraping, I realize what he has isn’t a trail, it’s a whole forest! Ack! Weren’t all men supposed to shave their chest and stuff nowadays? Whatever happened to having fuzz-free Hollywood heroes as role models? At least my embarrassment is completely foregone by the irritation at his lack of upkeep. The only thing distracting me now is that heady mix of musk, shaving cream and a distinctly…male scent. And God knows that is one seriously jeopardizing distraction. Especially with a whizzing needle in one’s hand.

em All My Life
love romantic funny lust erotic sexy tattoo possessive alpha steamy book-boyfriend inked pierced

Neil Mars?! I could blame him for having killer looks but he could not be faulted for this. He couldn’t have chosen that name for himself. No wonder he tortures his Mom by calling her by her name.

em All My Life
love humor romantic funny banter witty

Guys like him? They were the worst kind. All looks and no heart. Guys not like him? They were all deceiving, freaking asshats.

love passion sexy sarcastic witty alpha

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.

em All My Life
witty funny-and-random funny-humor quirky

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