I don't want to spend the rest of my life paying off loans when I don't even like school to begin with.

I was really good at sitting around and debating things in my head.

If I wanted to have an interesting life - which I did - then there was no point sitting around debating everything in my head on a constant loop. If I wanted my life to change, then Had to do something. Or at least try.

The only thing I know for sure is that this summer, I want to be with you. Sometimes I wish I could make everything else go away and have it only be you and me in our own little world.

I'd never been great at meeting people. I wasn't shy or anything, It was only that sometimes, with new people, I didn't know how exactly to start a conversation. I liked to listen first. You could learn a lot about someone that way.

Girls like me smiled politely and always did the right thing. Girls like me definitely didn't sneak away at night to do things that would crush their fathers. And if they did, girls like me knew how to keep it to themselves.

That was when I forgot how to breathe altogether.

The lipstick is a dark, dark red. The kind Hollywood stars wear. Not a shade good girls in Davisburg wear to the movies. I try it on anyway and gaze at my reflection in the mirror.I don't look sick. I certainly don't look like that kind of girl.What does that kind of girl look like, anyway?

But maybe no one knew that much. Maybe everyone was making it up as they went along, the same as me.

My life was bigger than any one person.

Last year I told Lori I thought I might be bi. Ever since, whenever she saw me looking at another girl, she asked if I liked her. Lori didn't get that sometimes it was fun just to notice people without having to think about whether you liked them or not.

In that moment, it felt like we were the entire world. Just me and those gorgeous stars.

It could be our own private universe.

Frankly, it's self-evident. As people of faith, it's our duty to love everyone, the way God loves everyone. There's no reason why any one group is less deserving of love - either the love of a church community, to the love of a family - than any other.

I have lots of friends who are straight, privileged white guys, and I'm totally okay with them. I think they should have equal rights, just like he rest of us." Christa laughed again. Her eyes crinkled up, as though she actually thought I was funny. "As long as they don't flaunt it, right?

That lovely face sets off a fire inside me that isn't ever supposed to burn.