Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with.

The only difference between a prayer and a curse is the one who stands to profit.

Some women barter their bodies like whores with wedding bands. Some use sex like a sword. But some women can touch a man and heal like Jesus.

Retirement is lie sex. Men love to talk about it, but when the time finally comes, they're good for about fifteen minutes then they're dying to put their ties back on.