In my youth once when I had a really exquisite toothache I suddenly realized that my tooth had temporarily become the centre of the universe that its outcries were more important than anything else and that I would do absolutely anything to placate it. And as one gets older and starts worrying about cancer one becomes more and more conscious of the fragility of the whole body and with that consciousness comes a new and degrading kind of fear. It is degrading because it strengthens the desire to survive on any terms and the desire to survive on any terms is the most base of all our instincts.

Madness is part of all of us all the time and it comes and goes waxes and wanes.